What Is She Thinking????

[deebra]

Let's say walking through the mall, in a grocery store or WalMart when a woman looks up and sees a crossdresser what do you think goes through the "average" woman's mind? The CD could have just one or two pieces of female clothing on that she notices or more and presenting andro or fully dressed and presenting very attractively as a woman. When the "average" woman goes in Payless or DSW and see's a man trying on women's shoes or boots what does she think? This is 2016 and a lot of attitudes have changed along with styles and clothing. Here are some of the things she might be thinking or your comments.
1/ acceptance, no big deal, anything goes today; it looks better than a man with his pants below his butt.
2/ discuss
3/ I like the look, he's neat, clean and presenting very well; some women's clothes fit a man's body better than men's; women do it, why not men?
4/ Men are finally realizing that women are smarter than men, now they are trying to copy us by dressing like us.

This is just a fun question, we all know we don't know another person's mind but keep in mind this is 2016; so don't become a lawyer and trash the thread. Responders that are wearing something feminine will probably have better answers (just kidding).

Deebra

[JenniferMBlack]

Being it is 2016 and opinions and attitudes have changed it still depends on the woman. The easiest way to find out is to interact with them. I think she is thinking along these lines from my experience.
1 that's cool he is doing what he wants
2 why would a guy want to do that what's wrong with him
3 whatever he isn't hurting or bothering anyone who cared.
4 he has good tastes in clothes
5 what the hell is he wearing no girl would dress like that.
6 for the clueless hehe shoes.lol
Since it is for fun and you don't know another's mind. But I have had responses like a few of these.

[Krisi]

" a woman looks up and sees a crossdresser what do you think goes through the "average" woman's mind?"

The average woman will think he is gay. It doesn't matter if it's 2016 or 1916. The word used might be different but the though would be the same. The average man thinks the same thing.

[Leslie Langford]

Let me turn this question around...

I am walking through Walmart or the grocery store and I see a GG adorned with tattoos, piercings and purple spiked hair, wearing flip-flops, baggy jogging pants and a loose-fitting hoodie to hide all the excess weight that she is carrying from living on a steady diet of junk food.

Are my thoughts as follows (paraphrasing deebra's questions)?:

1/ acceptance, no big deal, anything goes today; it looks better than a man with his pants below his butt.
2/ discuss
3/ I like the look, she's neat, clean and presenting very well; some shapeless, baggy casual clothes fit a "curvy" woman's body better than others; most men dress sloppy these days, so why not women?
4/ Women are finally realizing that they are just as smart and can act just as entitled as men, and have every right to lower their standards of dress by trying to copy the types of clothes we typically wear. Comfort rules!

Point being - if women these days don't give a hoot about how they present themselves compared to times past - and woe to anybody who tries to "shame" them for being who they are, what they look like, and expressing their true inner selves - I'll be darned if I let them judge me in turn for the way I present myself in public when out en femme.

I wear "traditional" women's' clothes (skirts, dresses, hose, heels etc.) when out and about because that happens to work for me, and if some of them want to judge me for that (and maybe on some level even resent the fact that I might be showing them up and raising the bar for them in the process), then so be it - their problem, not mine.

[Lana Mae]

I agree with Krisi or they might think "There is a man who wants to be a woman!" Some women are cool about it but not many and they tend to be younger women. Hugs Lana Mae

[Laurana]

What do I care what they are thinking? Unless they come out and say something I'll never know.

[Kate Simmons]

Only one way to know for sure really---ask! Contrary to what many of us may think, women don't go around looking for guys who may be CDers.

[Lily Catherine]

2016 or not, I'm quite sure there will be at least some responses along the lines of "Is he gay/trans?" (with the negative connotations that it doesn't deserve, but nonetheless carries) at least in the foreseeable future. Worse still, "Is he a fetishist?" might also crop up especially when it comes to overtly feminine footwear - especially those with implied sexual connotations.

The ideal response would be "meh, whatever", as though the man in question was never in the spotlight to begin with. An individual is often at the centre of their own world; it also follows that if one does something atypical by the global observer's standards, it is likely that they will be more conscious about it.

[AlyssaJ]

I agree with many of the above but one I've heard first hand that I don't see "Gawd now they're stealing our clothes too."

[Gwyneth]

Another thought. It might be a 30something never married thinking "now I've got that for competition!" And if the CD is gay, she doesn't stand a chance. Then again its 2016. Might be dressed quite cute and get hit on by a lesbian! Boy would she be disappointed.

[Jenniferathome]

Guynbart, what the what?!?

You think a woman could look at a cross dresser and think this is "competition" to her for available males? NEVER is when a woman will think that. A straight woman is not competing for gay males.

[Gwyneth]

I'm just saying, there are 6 million more women in this country than men. That many won't find anyone if they are looking. And I would be surprised to find there are that many lesbians. So if I were a woman doing the math, disqualify all the gays and most of the CD's.

[ellbee]

I'm dressing it kind of butch right now, for a reason... But visible to the public? Women's bootcut jeans (tight in the butt & thighs), women's running shoes (the turquoise parts & bit of lime green give them away), and a guy t-shirt. Padded sports bra isn't really noticeable, even to me.


Earlier today I had to toss some trash in my building's dumpster.

Surprise! The cleaning lady, probably in her 20's, is heading the opposite direction in the hallway. We smile & say hi.


As I was coming back in, she again is heading the opposite direction. We smile & she even holds the door open for me. (Yes, of course I said thanks!)


Lo & behold, right in front of my door is the other cleaning lady, maybe in her 40's, vacuuming the hallway carpet. Smile, hi, how are you? Blah blah.


Did either or both notice? Probably. Who knows, who cares. Maybe the younger one thought I had on pretty cute sneakers?

[Tracii G]

Guynbart FYI honey it doesn't work that way.
Its pretty safe to say never is a straight female looking for a straight male going to be in competition with a gay man that likes to dress up.

[AlyssaJ]

You think a woman could look at a cross dresser and think this is "competition" to her for available males? NEVER is when a woman will think that. A straight woman is not competing for gay males.

Actually I don't think Guynbart is that far off. While she may not be competing with a CD to attract gay males, she is competing with a CD for attention. I can tell you from conversations with my wife that this is one of her concerns with going out with me while dressed. If I get more attention from men or women around us, then I've "stolen her thunder". So maybe not competing to get a date, but there is still competition there. Just ask a woman if they feel like they compete with each other in how they dress when they go out, whether or not they're trying to pickup guys, and I'll bet 99% of them will answer in the affirmative.

[Gwyneth]

Guynbart FYI honey it doesn't work that way.
Its pretty safe to say never is a straight female looking for a straight male going to be in competition with a gay man that likes to dress up.

You are confused. A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

[Eryn]

I think that the average woman at DSW is thinking "That's a pretty shoe. I wonder if I can find my size and if it will be comfortable?"

[Jenniferathome]

You are confused. A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

So you DO think straight women are competing for gay men. Because, a cross dresser (MtF) is a MAN. You do understand what "straight" means, right?

[Lorileah]

"I have to pick up the kids at 3:30. What should we have for dinner? I forgot I needed to stop at the drug store. The utility bill is due Wednesday. Nice skirt. There's a sale at Macy's. Did I lock the door? I probably did because it's a habit. Bob's boss is a jerk. I can't believe Sally is dating that 40 year old. That was a nice skirt" If you honestly think most women even notice you, you might be a a narcissist or you need to rethink what you're wearing. Women aren't on the prowl for potential mates. Teens might be. Women have far more on their plates and unless you are in a social setting dating someone at the mall is low on the radar

[Jenniferathome]

Actually I don't think Guynbart is that far off. While she may not be competing with a CD to attract gay males, she is competing with a CD for attention. I can tell you from conversations with my wife that this is one of her concerns with going out with me while dressed.... and I'll bet 99% of them will answer in the affirmative.

First, Guynbart IS that far off. Like "off the deep end" off.

Secondly, have you considered that your wife is just being kind to you and is not actually concerned in any way? This notion of women competing with other women is no different than saying women are bad drivers. It's folklore passed along by men and cross dressers.

[Gwyneth]

Again, just what I "think" they would think. Not all CD's are readily noticeable. But if I were a nice looking 30something woman never married and saw a CD that looked equally good, I would see it as a threat. And yes straight women are in competition with gay men. For MEN! There are a lot of straight men that are falling for gay men. Especially if they already look like hot women. If I know there are more women than men, I'm sure they know. And I would think that one gay CD could keep at least a couple of men very satisfied beyond what women generally are willing to do. Possibly more.

[Jenniferathome]

<tap, tap, tap> Is this thing on? Hello? Ok. You see Guynbart, a woman is not concerned about what is or is not pleasing to a gay man and a straight man is not interested in what a gay man may or may not be willing to do. A gay cross dresser is NOT competing with ANY woman.

------- I'm spent.

[ellbee]

Where do the bi CD's fit in all this?

[Teresa]

Deebra,
You say it's a fun question but It's something that does cross my mind after I've shopped and talked to people about my CDing. OK I dress in drab when I shop but have been seen numerous times trying on heels. Most SAs are trained to deal with the TG community but possibly never think they are going to meet one , I personally feel they are more intrigued than anything possibly wondering exactly what makes us tick. I would think many women possibly think why does he do it before attaching the gay label, although we get the transition question from our partners I don't think it comes immediately to mind when they do see us.

The easiest way is go out and ask, next time I meet some of the SAs I've become friendly with I will ask them what their thoughts are. Usually they assume I'm married because they ask about the situation with my wife, so maybe they don't always think we are all gay. They would obviously think that if I acted camp but I don't , I know that's the media stereotype .

As for you list
1) Yes I've had acceptance and some very nice compliments.
2) I've had some very interesting discussions with GG friends and SAs.
3) Yes I do keep myself neat and tidy in male mode, I don't want to come over as a seedy old man, I'm glad to say that hasn't happened yet.
4) I dress to satisfy an inner need and not to copy anyone, some female clothes aren't that practical but aren't they fun to wear.

What people think shouldn't bother us but no human enjoys being treated badly and hurt, we shouldn't have to suffer for something we can't basically change, but then other people have their own set of problems and just want to hurt others through their own suffering.

[Gwyneth]

Where do the bi CD's fit in all this?

Maybe with me!

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

<tap, tap, tap> Is this thing on? Hello? Ok. You see Guynbart, a woman is not concerned about what is or is not pleasing to a gay man and a straight man is not interested in what a gay man may or may not be willing to do. A gay cross dresser is NOT competing with ANY woman.

------- I'm spent.

Well I see our problem. We are about 3000 miles apart. Figuratively and literally. In the south most women are getting desperate if they aren't married by 25. Most want all their children by then. And the guys aren't in nearly that much of a hurry. There really aren't many gay men per capita, but enough to create more problems for the girls. Add to that CD's that might be just wanting a fling.

And what do I know. I'm very surprised to see the happily married CDs here. I don't get it, but that's just me. Remember I'm very new.