Hey girls, figured I would share with you all my story of being outed. Yes outed, it seems all my friends from my past have discovered Adriana and they have known for a while now. Here is my story.
About four years ago, I decided to follow what I felt was my true path, to be the real me, and to be happy.I spent years of my life pretending to be happy, and tried to live the life everyone else expected of me , but it was far from the true feelings I had inside.
I looked at where I was in life, who my friends were, and decided it was time to become the best me I possibly could. In order to do this I needed to explore my feminine side, so in the process I stepped away from my so called life & friends and I took some much needed "ME" time, and started to try to understand, and express my feminine side. I spent my days working out in the gym running six miles a day, trying to get my body into a more feminine shape. I did research online, to learn about crossdressers, and what it was to be transgender, I studied and practiced makeup , and fashion all to better myself. I took notes, wrote things down,participated in this forum, and even started my own website as my own little private girl world filled with all the information I learned along the way to try to help others going through the same thing
In about six months I gained the knowledge & the confidence to finally make a the first step of going out in public and expressing my true gender and attended a Transgender Crossdresser event, it was here that I realized I was not alone in my feelings. I made lots of new friends, friends I still have to this day. I attended seminars, and local support groups, and traveled as much as I could to learn about my gender identity, and to meet and hear the stories of other people just like me.
That whirlwind lasted about a year before I stepped back again to analyze my life.
It was here it dawned on me I have not made contact with any of my old friends, and they too had made no effort to contact me . I had been so busy trying to figure my life out, that I never looked back, but also did my so called friends even care ? Sure there was one or two I felt bad about not having in my life, and wanted to reach out to, but the majority at this point in time did not matter anymore.
So I pushed forward. I was finally happy, and comfortable with myself.
3 more years passed by and I continued down my new path, I was completely comfortable now with my new identity, made lots of new friends, and was exploring and living my life to the fullest in the real world, as Adriana.
One day while reading the comments on my blog, I noticed a familiar name ( it was someone from my past ) who had discovered my blog, and obviously discovered everything about me .I put my entire life online with no shame in my game almost as if I wanted it to be found. I was never ashamed of being me.
At this point I knew I was outed, and that he would go and tell everyone from my past about what he saw, and what he learned. I panicked , and decided to reach out to one of my old gal pals, she was one girl I always felt bad about leaving out of my new life, she was the acception to the majority of my friends, at least SHE reached out via text to say happy birthday, or wish me a happy holiday, and I knew when I was ready to come "out" , she was the first person I was going to tell.
So I called her, and came clean. I told her I was Transgender, and that I have made an entire new life for myself, and for once I was truly happy. Her response was "I have known for a long time, I love you, and want you to be happy" . This response peaked my curiosity, HOW did she know ? How long ago did she know ?
It turns out my "so called best friend hacked into my email over a year and a half ago . He found tracking numbers, and mail orders for makeup and shoes. He found pictures, he found my website, he found everything. Not knowing what to do, he decided to ask ANOTHER friends advice , which was the complete WRONG thing to do , instead of approaching me about the situation. This particular friend blabbed his mouth to just about anyone who would listen. EVERYONE from my past knew. They knew everything., and they have all known for a while.
After I found this out, I had kind of laughed it off, so everyone has known for years now ? "Yup"....and nobody cares, as long as you are happy. But the more I thought about this, the more it dawned on me how much my privacy was violated.
Hacking into my email ? Telling everyone? People have lost jobs, wives, and even lives due to being outed. Nobody put my feelings into consideration. Lucky for me, I had made a brand new life for myself, and nobody from my past mattered anyway. I had nothing to lose.
With that a feeling of relief came over me, no more getting nervous about running into someone from my past when I am out locally. Everyone knew I was "OUT" but me apparently. So now, I have no more worries. I am completely free.
When my friend caught wind I knew about what they had done, he had texted me to apologize for hacking into my email, and making the wrong decision in asking another friend advice on how to handle the situation leading to me being outed.
Although I appreciated him reaching out, at this point in time it was too little, too late. Here was my response.
"At this point in time I am mostly "out" anyway and so far removed from that group of friends that it does not even matter. It does however prove my point of what my gut told me when I decided to confront the whole transgender thing, and that was none of you were my real friends anyway, the actions of you and some of my other friends just put it in stone for me. I am mad, but at the end of the day does it really matter? Does it have any effect on my life ? It really doesn't, I can just look back shake my head and know years ago I made the right decision".
I DID make the right decision, I am one of the lucky ones, I had nothing to lose choosing this path except maybe a few friends who at the end of the day proved they were far from true friends. I made a whole new life for myself, with all new friends.
I have traveled , and have done things I could of only dreamed of years ago.
I am happier and living life the way I should be. I wouldn't change anything. I am free to be me.
Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
paula
. You might have been a bit harsh about the entire old circle of friends, but life is like that and you are happy with your decision and I'm happy for you too.