Lost..... Pink Fog

[bronwyneve]

What the hell is the matter with me? For me the urge to dress and the rush, the buzz that I once got from dressing has just vanished. I have the house to myself every weekday, a closet full of female clothing a healthy supply of make up and a wife that allows but not fully accepting. I feel that I have done all that I need to do dressed in my female form. Sitting here, beard of 2 weeks, hairy body, full blown hairy legs and I am a cyclist! I just can not be stuffed going through the motions of getting dressed. Satisfied in my male form or just lazy? I hope that the missing pink fog is a passing phase.

[Dana44]

Pink fog... Well you don't really need that to dress. It could be that you feel male perhaps. Give it time it will come back and you will wonder why you have to be female. LOL but it will come back. Maybe your to tired of shaving. Yeah that will pass also. Aw heck, we think it is fun to be a girl. But we are also men and do feel male sometimes. very male sometimes. I think that is your issue.

[redtea]

This happened to me as well when i was busy doing other things. Don't feel bad, focusing entirely on CDing, isn't good, moderation is better.

[Valery L]

Just dress. You will see that the pink fog immediatly comes back. That is true at least from my experience. It sounds that is just some lazyness.

[josie_S]

I know this well....I've had weeks, weekends, sometimes anytime I wanted (when I was single) and yet I couldn't bring myself to dress. Looking back, all I can say UGH because I wasted so many chances! And I'm sure, like Valery says, it's probably laziness. It was for me. And she's also right that when you dress again, it will all come back. Maybe not as intense a pink fog, but is it ever not fun?

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes we plain just don't feel like dressing up. Happens to the best of us. Funny that a woman cannot turn off her "female" switch like that.

[Judy-Somthing]

I stopped dressing for about fifteen years with my busy life and didn't miss dressing up.

Then this year in January I started dressing up again (out of control), I bought about 60 dresses this year, now the Pink Fog has faded again.

I haven't dressed in at least two months!

[Lana Mae]

It will come back! One of two ways: on its own or you force yourself to dress. The choice is yours. We all have these times now and then. Just my 2 cents. Hugs Lana Mae

[Elizabeth G]

I have found it comes and goes for me too, and sometimes for very long periods, but it always comes back. You haven't mentioned it, but if you get the urge to purge try to resist it. I am still rebuilding after my last purge years ago and am referring ever having done it.

[Krisi]

Yet you're posting on a crossdressing web forum!

There's no rule that says you have to dress as a woman every so many days or you lose your membership in the crossdressing union. Maybe you are making it harder than it needs to be. Shouldn't you be shaving your face anyway? As for the legs, run over them with an electric shaver and be done with it. Wear tights or even jeans. Makeup? Just beard cover and lipstick. Put on a simple dress or blouse and skirt, earrings and a necklace.

Wig, boobs and butt and you are dressed. 15 minutes tops.

[Stephy123]

bronwyneve Speaking from my experience the pink fog was always an issue until I decided to see a therapist who was
able to get me to understand, and embrace who I am. We all go through periods
where we do not dress. But it will come roaring back at any time. For my peace I except this. Lots of us
have complicated lives so embrace the fem side when it comes, and as you do you will find these days of
not to dress and fix up will become few and far between.. As you embrace your fem side more you will
become more at peace and a better person. My two cents.

[CarlaWestin]

Many times with CD'ing there are a series of goals and challenges that when achieved, plateaus the excitement for a while. I have found over the years that some of the most rewarding experiences start with just starting into it. No worries. You'll see an outfit or something that will re spark the enthusiasm.

[Teresa]

Bronwyneve,
I can see what you're saying much of the buzz about CDing has been achieved in your mind, your wife is OK about it so no great rush if you feel you going to be discovered. Maybe in the past you've overdone it and burnt the feeling out temporarily , I'm sure members will suggest you don't purge , how many comments do we read that they live to regret it.

I will admit that I'm bi-gender and not gender fluid, so I've never experienced an ebb and flow, it's a constant gut feeling or need that has been there since it started at the age of 8-9 years old. I've always shaved every day and for some time have been shaving my chest and legs everyday. I don't get to dress everyday but at least when the opportunity arises I'm basically ready to dress without the angst of having to shave . I will admit the hate the feeling of being an unshaven man I feel dirty and unfeminine , I know I have GD so maybe that explains that feeling.

[NicoleScott]

We don't dress because we're crossdressers. We're crossdressers because we dress. If that internal drive isn't there, don't dress and life will go on. It's not gone, it's just hiding (in the closet? haha).

[dolovewell]

I think everyone deals with this at some point.

I know I did.

I always love being dressed up. But I don't always love the long routine and process needed to be fully dressed up. I especially hate the shaving(still do!) and moisturizing and all of that. I think my main mistake was that I was dressing up too much, so it became too routine and felt like a chore or obligation.

The best thing you can do is take a break and not be so routine, be more spontaneous. Eventually you will be bursting at the seams to power through it all to get to the end point of being dressed.

[Jesse Six]

Bronwyn, enjoy getting other things done this weekend. I've always found the 'pink fog' to be a huge distraction and a drain on my time.

You've spent so many years boxed into the 'male' identity, you don't have to box yourself into another one. If you want to wear a beard and camo one week, or lip gloss and a dress the next, you do what feels right - that's freedom.

[Allisa]

I know of what you speak, went years without dressing or even an urge to dress. Totally engrossed in my maleness until one night I looked for and found my nightgown(why I do not know) and once I slid it on my hairy male body all things changed. The following weeks I rid my body of all hair and little by little started dressing again. You have said that you've done all that you "need" to do what about doing what you haven't done while dressed, maybe that will bring back the rush and make your CDing fun again. You haven't said whether you are a stay at home, indoor dresser or not. Lazy?, all I know is when I'm expressing my male self I do become somewhat lazy and I become "stubbly" all over, then go crazy feeling dirty and smooth everything again. My last big "fog" came and that is when I started to realize I am something more than a CDer and am Gender Fluid, but that's just me. As it has been said so many times here the CDing "bug" never leaves us it just goes dormant many times only to come back, stronger sometimes, sometimes not so strong. Hang in there.

[Meghan4now]

So,

For many of us, it would be so less complicated to loose the desire. It seems odd to complain when you do. So many times the mantra here is to accept how you feel, and live with it. But usually it's the other way around, accepting your need to dress. In both cases the suggestion is the same, don't stress over it.

[Julie Denier]

Most frustrating is when the desire to dress peaks in between opportunities to dress. Quite often when the chance arises, I'm just not feeling it. But usually I'll force myself and I'm glad I did

[IamWren]

I'll echo what Meghan said.
Many here feel that the CDing bug is a curse and wish that it would leave them and allow them a normal life.
I think I would count it as a blessing if that happened to me.

[Sarah Louise]

It happened to me last year and it will probably happen again. I just looked on it as a great opportunity to do a load of other stuff. It will come back at some point.

[Jenniferathome]

Whatever you do, don't stop riding!

I am certainly an advocate that if you don't feel like dressing, then don't. Other than training on my bike, where sometimes I don't feel like working, I am always happy I did during and after the ride. But one HAS TO train to stay in shape. One does not have to dress to stay a cross dresser.

[CONSUELO]

Bronwyneve,

You have raised an important issue for us cross dressers. The urge/need to cross dress does indeed wax and wane over ones life and at least for me that has been an impediment to my sorting out what I am and what I want. During some periods when I didn't feel the urge to dress I believed that it had gone for good and made some life decisions based on that feeling. I was wrong and when the urge came hurtling back and seemingly stronger than ever it was a major disruption. Over the last few years this fluctuation in desire has been less extreme and so there are periods when I revert to what I call my base case - always wearing panties, nightgowns and staying hair free, but not much else.

So my advice to you is to just relax and see what happens. Don't assume that the loss of interest is permanent.

As for all of you other CDers, what has been your experience with this waxing and waning of desire? What might be the cause of it? Perhaps some of you have been given some insights during a counseling session.

[ellbee]

Congrats, you've finally been cured!


As someone above mentioned, lack of dressing can last for more than a decade in some instances; I know she isn't the only one here who went that long.

And I'm personally coming off a 3.5-year absence. No desire during that time. But now? Much different story, LOL.


Just the way it works sometimes. Just go with it & be happy with whatever you do & whatever you wear.

[Kandi Robbins]

Where do I sign up for that? Listen, I love who I am, but would give it all up in a nanosecond if I could "lose the feeling". That would certainly uncomplicate life, along with saving me a few bucks.