Idon't know if I'll ever be able to come out to my wife

[Elizabeth G]

When my wife and I first met I hadn't dressed in years and felt it was a thing of the past for me. I had a goatee that I had been sporting for years and I kept until very recently when the urge to dress returned. My wife had never seen me without it.

Over the weekend my we were having dinner with friends and the subject of my new clean shaven look came up and our friends all commented on how they thought it looked good. My wife responded that she wanted me to grow it back because it looked "too feminine" without it.

Sigh...

[Teresa]

Elizabeth,
If she doesn't bring the subject up again I would be inclined to let the dust settle and keep quiet. I had a similar thing over my shaved legs after the few comments I just continued doing it, it's like most things we all notice change but within a short while you forget how it use to look.

Some will say it's your body and you should be able to do what you like with it. I disliked any facial hair because of my father, we didn't get on so I relate beards to bad experiences.

If you don't mind me saying from your avatar you might try and get some more feminine glasses , combined with your wig style they tend to make you face look long. You need to experiment with a different style to reduce the square jawline. A rounder face looks softer and more feminine and it can be achieved with a wig and makeup.

As for coming out to you wife, it can happen but in small stages, it took me twenty years , when I finally told her I just sobbed my heart out, it felt like a millstone had been lifted from my shoulders. I guess my wife knew from seeing me cry like that when I've never done it before that it was something I was struggling with. Yes we did go into a DADT situation after a couple of weeks but at least she knew, and could talk about it when she had a need to . I'm still in a DADT situation after a further twenty years but have still managed to move on and go out of the door dressed, she chooses not to see me but accepts it's a need I have to satisfy.

[Jesse Six]

Hi Elizabeth,
How about this compromise: try out the three-day beard? That "neatly trimmed scruff all over" look. It looks devastatingly sexy on some guys. It might make her very happy.
The advantage here is that you can shave clean for when you want to be privately femme, and grow it back quickly. A full goatee takes a while to develop, and is obviously incompatible with dressing.

[Stephanie47]

Back in the early 1970's I grew a mustache. It was red although my hair was blond. I shaved it off one day because I did not like it or the up keep. My wife liked it and questioned why I shaved it off. It was not a cross dressing issue. She still makes comments about it. It's your face.

[Krisi]

Dressing as a woman while wearing a beard would seem creepy to me. It is your face and should be your decision whether to grow a beard or not. Facial hair seems to be "in" at the moment, but it's not unusual for a man to be clean shaven. Unless your wife continues to harp on it, I suggest shaving daily and letting her and friends get used to the "new you".

[Micki_Finn]

I just do as Jesse says. Works for me/us.