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Thread: Want, need, choice

  1. #1
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Want, need, choice

    I was reading on another thread where someone said that while they want to dress they don't need to.
    It got me to thinking, what about you and how you answer what does that say about yourself.

    I had to really think about this question and now being in counseling I do wonder what is my answer.
    I think for me is yes I want to dress and at times I do feel I need to dress. Which for me brings in a whole other set of questions.
    Where am I on the gender spectrum and well for me that is a work in progress.

    So how do you answer this question or has it ever really crossed your mind

    Leigh

  2. #2
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Hi Leigh,

    As of more recent times I certainly want to dress and at times the compulsion to do so is so strong that it would be hard not to classify it as a need. On the other hand I have gone through long periods (years) where I have not even wanted to dress. So I'm all over the map.

    Elizabeth

  3. #3
    Member Allison2006's Avatar
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    I would say for me, most of the time I dress because I want to, which might explain why I go for longer periods of time without it now. But I would say too that every once in a while I do feel the need to dress up. Like today, when I got a new pair of heels...

  4. #4
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    I wouldn't want to if I didn't have a need to do so.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Keely's Avatar
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    It is an almost everyday thing for me so I guess I need it.
    Keely

    One of the Reds

  6. #6
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Yep, I would say it was a need for me. I now have one day a week (actually about 7 to 8 hours) after starting a new job and the lack of time is leaving me irittable and stressed. If it was just a want I doubt I'd feel so bad about it. The longest gap I ever had was six months, it was really hard going.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  7. #7
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I dress because I want to not because I need to. It's all totally a choice for myself. It wasn't always that way but when I finally accepted all of my feelings and embraced them, I was free of any compulsion. Now I mostly enjoy it as an artistic form of expression.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  8. #8
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    I have honestly stopped trying to analyze my need to dress. I have simply accepted that this is who I am. I know I am not transgendered, I have no real desire to be a woman. I am a crossdresser and I cannot deny the true joyful feeling I have when I am out dressed and the way it has opened me up to the world. I certainly would stop if that magic pill existed, but it doesn't so I revel in my opportunities to be out in the world, comfortable with who I am. I've struggled with it long enough and finally realize life is short, we only get one shot at it and that I need to make the best of it.
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
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  9. #9
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    For me its not a want. When I am feminine, I have to, so its is a need and sometimes I don't get a chance, the need grows.
    Part Time Girl

  10. #10
    Junior Member
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    For me it's definitely a 'need'. It's something I've always needed but for many years tried to push away and try to reject and ignore.

  11. #11
    Member Kiersten's Avatar
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    It's definitely a need for me. It's always been that way.

  12. #12
    Banned Spammer
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    I guess I need to wear clothing of the opposite gender to feel connected to my female side.
    I do not feel right in all male clothing like I'm doing something wrong or out of balance.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    What I want, is the choice to dress as I please. What I need is for circumstances in my life to change for the better so I can choose responsibly.


    Karen

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    I second Jennifer, life would be a lot easier without this and I wouldn't dress if I didn't need to.

  15. #15
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
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    Yes I have thought of this question. I have no problem admitting I from time to time "need" to dress. For all the standard reasons we have kicked around so much. But honestly it's more often because I want to, and can and do. The reason or need is always there even when I do it for Fun.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
    It's worth something just being around to Fuss!

  16. #16
    Member LydiaL's Avatar
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    Do not mind admitting that years of wanting to dress has morphed into a more compelling need.
    to dress.

    Just now, as a guest visiting family, dressing en femme is just not possible, yet I am right now comforted by the familiar feel of my micro-fiber panties!

  17. #17
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Bingo what Jenn said!

    Words want and need r pretty interchangeable.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  18. #18
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Want, always. Need? It seems like it sometimes. Part of it is never having had a SO or wife,in my life, at 62. A few women friends, but no intimacy. I seem to escape from my male grief , and Alice becomes my lady. Enjoy it while it is possible.. After spending much time in nursing homes for several years visiting my mom before she died, i see that everything in this vain life is temporary. I was six feet from being slaughtered by a speeding car, on my bicycle a month ago. My dressing would have ended that moment. Enjoy everything while you can. One moment at a time. Day?
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 10-11-2016 at 11:21 PM.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Dee-anna's Avatar
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    I want to dress to fulfill that need to in me 🤷

  20. #20
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    Boy this is sure thought provoking. I underdress in lingerie every day and have been for almost 30 years now! When I feel like I have to wear men's underwear it makes me very uncomfortable and irritated. Since I have started wearing more women's clothes I have also noticed these feelings creeping in. So the answer for me is that it feels right to dress and annoying to have to wear men's things. It's both a need that has to be fulfilled and a want.

  21. #21
    Junior Member lynnstar's Avatar
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    For me its both. At times lynn star needs to come out at other times, not. I find however that when when i dress it feels relaxing and natural to be wearing a dress or skirt. So bottom line for me is i want to but seems to becoming more of a need as time progresses.

  22. #22
    Member Glendy's Avatar
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    I guess for me it's both I want to dress every day and most days I dress until around noon most of the time and I enjoy it very much. Now the need to part comes when I can't dress for what ever reason, then I think about wanting to put on my female clothing. It just feel so natural being my feminine self, I believe I enjoy it more than when I am in male clothing.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 10-12-2016 at 01:40 PM. Reason: no need to quote post above yours

  23. #23
    Multi-Blogger Barbara Black's Avatar
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    For most of my life I considered dressing a distortion of normal, something I couldn't stop doing any more than masturbation, which of course, males get married to end the need of. But now that I've corrected my own perceptions I realize that I need it and certainly want it. The want is enough to continue, and the need makes it a sure thing that it will continue on it's own. But as stated above, life is short and just wanting something is more than enough anyway.

  24. #24
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Generally a want with times of need. Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  25. #25
    Senior Member Tina Davis's Avatar
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    This is my original post on the subject that I incorrectly posted elsewhere. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...9-Want-vs-Need

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