First GG intersted in me in decades. Says i must stop dressing.

[Alice Torn]

I told her only friends. She wants me to come visit her. I goofed and said i might, also to check out the area, for wor, and apartments. Now, i am lloking to move near where i am. She is good artist, and has good qualities, but, i am afraid At my age, I am too set in my ways. i could go out with her as a friend. She was not harsh about my dressing, but fairly patient, but there is no doubt it would be difficult. But, i am still a virgin, and she is fairly hot! I have had to make tough sacrifices many times, partly why i am still an old bachelor. What ever the heck i decide, it will be my decision. i am willing to compromise some, as every human relationship demands it. But, not getting as of now, no way. Telling her friends only. I may not be good in marriage, too. Just long distance frienship. She is too needy, and desperate, too. She is not a bad person, though.

[Curiouser&Curiouser]

What ever the heck i decide, it will be my decision.

Amen, sister.

[MelanieAnne]

I am sick of cooking for myself all my adult life, and at 62, might be willing to compromise, for a good lady.

That's a helluva reason to marry some 50ish woman, desperate to get married. You might want to at least find out if she can cook.

[Alice Torn]

I do not believe in unconditional love. Love has conditions, as does friendship. Everything in life has conditions and boundries. i hand talked with her, and emailed together for 8 years. We have to live and die by our own decisions, sometimes take big chances, other times, very cautious. cautious is best, so i am not getting serious. Lonliness has mad people, including my parents, make some bad decisions. Loneliness is a huige problem in the world, but it is better to stay alone than commit and regret it. Any relationship takes some work, compromise and sacrifice , though. Sadly, it is usually all one sided though. Staying alone tight now. friendship only. Pets are great companions.

[dolovewell]

Nothing wrong with staying single. I am voluntarily single. Crossdressing is not the reason or a reason I choose to be single. The reasons why are another discussion. But make the most of it.

I make sure to make the most out of being single. I can do what I want, when I want, and don't have to answer to anyone.

[Alice Torn]

Yes she can cook well, has shown some of her recipes and photos of them. I know i can live without a SO. She does look pretty in her dresses, . Just a date now and then is enough for me, and friends. I see she has had a lot of failed dating relationships. I have told her desire to CD does not just go away. I cannot afford traveling t her town, anyway. Will tell her nothing serious here. I will live and die by my decisions.

[Glenda58]

Sounds controlling to me. Plus you just start dressing again. It never goes away and it will come back. It's better to find someone who doesn't mind if you dress.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I don't just see red flags, I hear the Klaxon.

A-Roo-Gah. A-Roo-Gah. Battle Stations. Battle Stations. All hands on deck. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

The "You can rise above it" part sounds like a deep belief in a Supreme Being who gives strength to those who pray for it.

Just remember the old saying.

Woman marry a man thinking that they can change him.
Men marry a woman thinking she won't change.

[Judy-Somthing]

As I see most of your posts , you seem to love dressing, and as most cross-dresses we love women, it can't hurt to see were it goes!
Could be interesting, have fun.

[IleneD]

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

[Charlyne]

Alice, Go see her; have fun not being lonely. Ask if you could "please" dress up for her; maybe she will mellow a bit.

You are right about lots of people are lonely. Keep trying to find another while not being too picky. You will find a woman and you will have great experiences!

[Sara Jessica]

This is as brutal of a real-life scenario as we can encounter here. Many of us have read Alice's trials & tribulations for years. There is no right answer other than what she can provide for herself.

Here is my 2-cents.

Alice, you owe it to yourself to get closer to her and see how a relationship might develop IRL rather than relying upon 8 years of email communication. Love may be the result on both sides at which time decisions need to be made. Perhaps she will fill a void in your life that you will find it possible to eschew your CDing from here on out. Perhaps she will find it in her to be able to tolerate your CDing to some degree.

Whatever you do, in stark disagreement with Charlyne above, DO NOT dress around her in an effort to turn her to your point of view. There is no dressing "for" her, only for you around her and that is not likely to have a good outcome. If that day will ever arrive, it'll be after you both are madly in love and you are able to convince her to meet that side of you. A more likely outcome would be for both of you to be madly in love and she tolerates your CDing outside of her presence.

In other words, give the relationship an opportunity to thrive without CDing being in the equation. You have already done the hard part, disclosure. Figure out later on where CDing will fit into the mix, if it needs to fit at all.

[arbon]

Just keep it secret from her

[docrobbysherry]

Long distance relationships aren't real, Alice. Until u actually spend time with the person one on one.

I communicated with a Russian woman and another in Ukraine before I began dressing seriously 8 years ago. The Ukraine doctor was stunning, educated, and sophisticated. The Russian school teacher and I chatted on Skype for hours. Sometimes nitely. I thot we had become friends. Both wanted marriage to get out of their countries. I considered that with the doc but not with the Russian and told her so.

I had high hopes for the doc and she was amazing! She spoke better English than our interpreter and was hotter than her photos. And, she could charm the silver off your best dinner wear. I spent a week getting to know her. When I was with her everything was perfect. She was sweet, compliant, introspective, relaxed, very sexy, omg was she something! I was completely captivated. But, it turned out she was too perfect. When I spoke to her on the phone she was completely different. Bitchy, complaining, always hinting at sex if I bought her this or that. I left her without a second thot. She was either bi polar or on drugs.

The Russian woman met me in Turkey and we traveled around together for a week. We had so much fun and it seemed we were very compatible. So, I tried to see if we could be more than friends. It was the first time anyone laffed when I kissed them! So, friends we remain to this day.

My point is u r over thinking things just as I did. Meet the woman. Try to relax and enjoy the moment. I know that's difficult when your mind's working over time. But, the more time u spend with her, the easier it will be for u both be yourselves and determine your compatibility.

[donnalee]

"When I was about to leave home for the first time, my father gave me some advice which has stood me in good stead to this day. 'Never eat at a place called Mom's, never play cards with a man called Doc and never go to bed with someone who has more troubles than you.'" - Kingsley Amos

[Alice Torn]

Again, thanks for all the comments. Yes, people with emotional and mental disorders are better alone, and not getting togaether with people with emotional and mental disorders, unless both are in real recovery. I need some serious dental work done, and need to find another apartment, and have akidney ailment, so , i won't have the money to go traveling. I can see she is a troubled , temperamental one, too. Just friends is best here.

[Heisthebride]

This above all else, to thine own self be true. You know if you are able to stop but don't try to deceive yourself into thinking you can stop dressing if you really can't. This is not only about you but about her too. Think long and hard about what your life will be like if you decide to give up dressing for someone.

You deserve to be happy and meet someone, you also deserve to be happy and dress if you want to. In a perfect world you could do both.

[Alice Torn]

Heisthe bride, So true. The desire never totally goes away. I do know i have not done a lot of things i could have done, and more contructive than dressing. i could have gotten involved in other hobbies. i like fishing more than i love dressing!! Bicycling, too. I could have gotten involved with volunteering more than i have. I am way too self centered and antisocial the last 8 years. But, i do have some inherited emotional illness, and it has hindered me socially. Some of us may well be better off single, though.

[Joni T]

Don't be a hurry to get married. I was-twice. I collect ex-wives. I have two. Don't wind up in the same boat as me. In retrospect, I should have never married, either time. I'm 61 and know your being alone pain, for lack of a better term. Slow down, take it easy, and don't make any hasty, rash decisions.
Jon

[Alice Torn]

Joni, Right! I f i had married some of the women i waqnted to marry many years and decades ago, I would very likely have been divorced too, fairly quickly!

[Stephanie47]

Alice, I've read all the responses. Yes, I probably can bang out on the keyboard my life with cross dressing. I think you sort of have answered your own question in your post:

"She says I was born a man, and, crossdressing is wrong"
"And I can quit, and with help, rise above it all"

With whose help I may ask? She really seems to be espousing some religious twist of cross dressing. Maybe, a little prayer will help, or not. I am very curious as to why she would be so interested in you, when you are engaging in something (crossdressing) that she is so opposed to?

Alice, I've followed your toxic relationships for some time. I believe you when you indicate you have some personality and emotional issues. I do not know if you are alluding to depression which many times is hereditary. If you are low on self esteem you may end up selling yourself short. By the same token, why would she be interested in you if she is in fact opposed to cross dressing. Perhaps, she is doing what others with self esteem issues do. They settle for less than they deserve because they feel they cannot do better. I've seen it many times over the years. I would really question her motives. And, I would not even visit a woman who espoused a dislike for something that is inherently a part of my inner self.

[Ressie]

I don't know about this Alice, but I'd like to see you get laid before you die! It's something you must experience darling.

You could pretend to quit CDing for a while. I know that sounds like a deceitful thing to do, but if she's the only one in all of these years…?

Really, from what I see, she wants to fix you. Many women like to fix guys that have problems, but often dump the guy after he's fixed.

[Alice Torn]

Stephanie, To be completely honest, we are of the same unusual church beliefs, and we are , like 12 step programs to go to a higher power, and do our best to overcome many things. Just being honest. But, that does not make two people compatible. She is not condemning me, just hoping i can discard dressing, which she just does not understand. Like someone on here said, how can we expect people who know nothing about it, to understand, when we don;t really understand why we are pulled to do it? It is a mystery even to us who do it! She , like 99.999% of women do not want a crossdresser for their man. They want a strong masculine provider and protector. A crossdresser is a big turn off to the vast overwhelming majority of women, as Sometimes Miss often writes. She does not condemn me, just is turned off by any man wearing clothes designed for women. 99% do not like it.I heard a woman say that today, even!

[MelanieAnne]

You are right about lots of people are lonely.

Lots of married people are lonely too. Many people only stay together, because they are afraid to be alone, or need someone to share the rent, or just can't make it alone. Don't assume everyone who is married or living with someone is happy.

[Alice Torn]

We singles tend to forget that, Melanie Anne. Very few people can accept being solitary and no SO, or mate. Draas is always greener! I heard marriage is like a screen door, and flies. Flies trying hard to get in, and flies trying harder to get out! I have too much baggage, to be married, if i am really honest.