I have made contact with two people in the trangender/crossdressing community. One is a trans woman that is in charge of a support group for crossdressers and transexuals. She is willing to meet me for lunch and talk but every time i get enough courage to go, it leaves me. Im embarrassed to admit to another that im into looking and acting like a female. Even though she is a trans woman!!! What is wrong with me? Im also having the issue of telling myself that im weird and that I dont belong in their community because I get a sexual thrill to a degree from dressing. That im a fetish dresser and dont belong and that im different. So im strugging with feeling different in the "normal" world and feeling different in the trans community. I do dress for other reasons, especially the longer I do it. I dont want to be a woman per se, but i do wish i could live as one as i please. I want to look convincing and do girly stuff and express my femininity. Why am i so afraid to meet this nice woman thats willing to help? Do I belong in this community and im just trying to find excuses to not follow through? Somebody please help me out here. I dont know where else to turn. Thanks girls.