why create a female persona?

[Samantha uk]

So why do we choose to have a female name? A big part of crossdressing seems to be creating a female alter ego with a female name in order to express our feminine sides but recently I’m starting to question why I create a female persona at all.

I’m a happily married heterosexual man and It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable with the fact that I’m a crossdresser.

However it never really felt right referring to my feminine side as a seperate person, it felt like I was using this female character as an excuse not to face up to the fact that ‘I am a crossdresser’ now as I gain more and more self acceptance I’m finding that its much more helpful to think about my feminine side as me because after all that is what it is.

I’m also finding that its easier to talk to my wife if I’m talking about me rather than an imaginary third person. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that if anyone is struggling with the idea of being a crossdresser then perhaps it might help to think in this way.

I'm also thinking about changing my profile name because I'm being hypocritical otherwise

[karla2016]

Well, every one of us is different. For my case in the contrary my girlfriend a I always refer to Karla as a third person, which is good, because for example when we are shopping she ask me:" My dear, do you think Karla might like this blouse?", then I say:"oh...yep, she might look good on it"...I believe that approach is better than if she ask me in the store surrounded with strangers:"My dear do you need more lipstick?" When we are planning a getaway weekend she might ask:"Are you packing any Karla's clothes?". I might say:"No...I don't think so, she might have no time this weekend..."

So yes, in my relationship with my girlfriend Karla is a third person...

[Charlyne]

If I am introducing myself to someone while dressed; Charlyne sounds better to me than my male name.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno, I think some of us just like having a female name. You are always free to do what you want to in any case. Enjoy!

[Tracii G]

How is having female name hypocritical ?
I wouldn't use my male name as a user name and post a pic of my female presentation.That would be silly don't you think?
There is no harm or shame to use a more female sounding name for a forum.
I don't speak of myself in a 3rd person format to anyone I am me either way.
I'm totally comfortable being me you may not be on the other hand.

[Teresa]

Samantha,
It depends how you derive your name, I hadn't thought about it until I joined the forum and then it was easy for me because my female name is very close to my male name . I personally feel happier having a name that fits with the way I prefer to dress, using a male name would be hypocritical to me , but in a shortened form it would only mean changing a Y for an I .

[Tina June]

I have been using the name Marlene for a while, but my wife has never liked using it and I think that I will be changing it to a feminized version of my given name.
I will probably just go with Tommi from now on

[ShelbyDawn]

I did it for two reasons.
First, my ex has been known to troll this forum looking for me and I really don;t want to go through that kind of grief. I just posted in another thread about that.
Second, When I found this forum and started reading, I noticed it was just kinda what you do here.

So, I guess I'm kind of a paranoid follower... LOL

Call yourself what ever you want, I'm betting you'll still be welcome here.

[Elizabeth G]

For me it just helps complete the image. If I am dreading entirely feminine with makeup, wig clothes etc it doesn't feel right to go by my male name.

[Rachael Leigh]

I do it mostly because it does distinguish the difference between my two different parts. While it is true I'm finding my female side is much more simalar to my male side which did surprise me a bit, it does make things simpler.
My female name also is close to my male name so for me it's easy

[dolovewell]

I do not give myself a female name. I just don't feel the need.... however, when I was out shopping en femme yesterday, a couple SAs I had conversations with asked me what my name was. I just gave them the first name that popped into my head.

Another awkward moment was when I was buying a bra at Victoria's Secret and paid with a credit card and was asked for my ID. I had to hand over my ID with my male mugshot on there.

[Lana Mae]

I am my male side and Lana Mae is my feminine side. Both are me. They do not look exactly the same so they are different. Lana Mae is just a way to refer to my feminine side. Lana mae is me but there are some personality changes between her and I. As long as you are comfortable with what ever, go for it. Be happy and do not over think or over complicate this! "Don't worry be happy!" Hugs Lana Mae

[reb.femme]

Hi Samantha,

I don't consider that I have an alter ego, merely a femme side that I would love to let out more. My wife is not overly enamoured with this femme side, so I limit the amount of time that I dress at home. After all, she married a male. If I were to have free rein, then I would dress each day in the gender that I felt best suited me on the day. Not sure my clients would be too happy though, never knowing whether it would be Becky or Bob turning up of a day.

I couldn't possibly use my male name when dressed and/or out and about. I am married, many years in fact, heterosexual with grown up boys and I personally have no problems accepting myself as a crossdresser.

I'm away with work again this week, so tonight I'll be packing my girl bag and having a femme night out, down in the west country, where I will be Becky rather than Bob for the evening. If you are happy calling yourself Bob when dressed, fine, but if you are looking for some confusion when out and dressed, then your strategy is spot on. Anyway, if you and your wife are happy, nothing else matters.

Becky

[Confucius]

I have no reason to have a feminine name. I do not go out in public dressed. I am not trying to create a female alter ego. I see myself as a man in a dress. Because of this I do not use a female name.

[Ceera]

It depends a whole lot on how we want to be perceived by others while we're dressed, and on why we dress.

If you are fully in the closet, or only dress at home, or if you do go out, but when you do, you're okay with being seen as 'a man in a dress', then you don't need a feminine persona at all. It might be fun if you dress for bedroom play with an accepting partner, but for the most part, in these cases your name doesn't matter.

But if you go out, and if you want others to perceive and accept you as a woman, and not as a man (or vice versa if you're FtM), then a suitable name to match your appearance is as important as your wig or breast forms. It doesn't matter if you're hoping for a date or strictly celibate. Nor does your orientation matter. What matters is that you want people to react to you as your presented gender. And that's harder to do when you speak in a voice that doesn't match the presented gender, or when you give them a name that doesn't match.

So some CD's, and I would expect almost all trangender individuals, find it necessary to have a name that sounds appropriate for their presentation gender.

In my case, when I go out en-femme, I want, as much as I can manage, to be seen and accepted as the woman that I would have been in life if my chromosomes matched the feminine part of my mind. If my body shaping, wig, clothes, shoes and makeup are perfect, but I speak like a male truck driver or say my name is some obviously male name, that disrupts my presentation as badly as a Shakespearean actor taking a cell phone call in the middle of performing Macbeth.

I am lucky, in that my legal first name is somewhat unisex. It's more common as a name for males, but I've known girls who also have the same legal first name. So there are times, especially when just shopping, that I don't bother to use my female name while en-femme. My driver's license may show my male form and male gender marker, but at least my stated name matches the ID and credit card. And if all I am doing is handing them a credit card, I have little reason to ask them to use any other name.

But when I am out socially and en-femme, I try very hard to use my female name. It's as much a part of my presentation as my wig or breast forms.

When I am in male mode with my daughter but we see a female item I might want, we refer to Ceera in the third person. "Do you think that would look good on Ceera?" for example.

[Ressie]

I don't think of it as creating a female persona. There wasn't anything creative about it in my case. Earlier in my life I didn't dress as completely as I do now. Dressing completely, ready to present as a female kind of manifested a female persona by itself.

As far as my female name? That started when I got into my first CD type chat room. Most others had female names so I made one up too. I remember in the late '90s going by Kitty. It was a fun, new experience, getting to know other CDs online..

Now days most CDs I know have a female name, but not all do. I think it's more appropriate to have a female name if you're going out and meeting people. Apparently, it's not for everybody.

[Rachelakld]

We are all different
My female persona has (except for the skinbag) got very little in common with my male persona. So I use two names as it reflects the mode I'm in.
Many people here have only one persona, maybe fully male (some even have beards), maybe female stuck in a male body, so in that reguard I suppose one name would be correct.

[Laurana]

The only place I use the name Laurana is here. I don't really have a "female persona" though.

[NicoleScott]

Simple. I don't want to use my real name.
I had been out a lot, but the first time I went into a tg-friendly club, I stepped inside and was immediately greeted with "welcome, what's your name?" Not a good time for "uh, let's see now..." I said "thank you, I'm Nicole".
Good thing Neil Armstrong was prepared with a statement, rather than "hey you guys, it's not really green cheese" or "all I see is fifty shades of gray".

[ellbee]

I first came up with my name because all the girls were doing it -- or at least those who had a GeoCities page on the internet back in the mid- to late-90s, as I did.

Seemed kind of weird *not* to have one, in that scenario... My male name? No name?? No way!


And yes, it also most certainly comes in handy when en femme out in public.

[Angie G]

I just love being Angie it seems to make my dressing more fullI do feel like I really part girl so why not the girl name. We are not all the same thank God. Jusy my feeling on it.
Angie

[Tracy Irving]

Most of us were given our male name by someone else. This is a chance for us to pick out any name we want for ourselves. Nothing wrong with taking advantage...

[DIANEF]

I had the name Diane almost from the first time I fully cross dressed. I think it was because if I had been born a girl that is the name I would have liked. I don't think I become someone else when dressed, but using my male name just doesn't feel right. To be honest I don't think it's that important. If you want a name fine, if you don't then don't use one.

[Tracii G]

I would feel stupid out somewhere in 100% girl mode and someone ask my name and blurt out my given guy name.
Talk about causing people to look and go WTH? Look Marge its a damn crossdresser get the pitchforks and the gasoline.

[redtea]

It is indeed an excuse to crossdress, But for me I'm aware that there is only me- But it's fun to imagine this polar opposite side as a different name all together.

Some CDers have the fetish of simply being a girl and the name is just another key accessory.

Some CDers don't want to say a male name when identifying en femme, It's weird, especially for those who are passing really well.

Some CDers are actually Trans so this new name is in their heart the name they are supposed to have.

Some CDers just want to join the community and use their name to not only mask their identity but also as a badge of honor.

I used Redtea because I wasn't sure what my name would be. I'm leaning towards Charlotte.