why create a female persona?

[Pat]

The question was why create a female persona, which is different than advocating against having a handy female name to use as a handle.

I see a reason for creating a persona -- Most of us are in a state of flux in our journey of self-discovery and not at a stable end point. During the phase of self-discovery many people feel that there are two distinct personalities housed in their body. Over time, I think most of us come to accept that it's not the case, but until you have a chance to suss it out it provides a workable model. And there are some folks for whom that's a workable enough solution that they never seem to abandon it. I think part of the appeal of a second persona is like believing the sun goes around the earth: it seems to fit the facts at first. And vestiges of it may remain even after you know better -- we still talk about sun-up and sundown even though intellectually we know that's wrong.

For me personally, it was an interim model that I left behind but the name "Jennie-cd" is still around from that time even though I no longer use Jennie in the real world and even though I no longer consider myself a CD.

[sometimes_miss]

For some, it's just something we did when we got here, because everyone else took a female name to use on this forum. Others desperately cling to anything feminine; we hate taking off our female clothing, and prefer to think of ourselves as female (for whatever reason) so thinking of ourselves as female with a female name just feels normal to us. Still others use a female name and create a whole persona to attribute all of their feminine feelings and thoughts to, because they cannot accept that it is really themselves who those feelings and thoughts are part of; in this way, they allow themselves to believe that they are still an all masculine manly man, and that all the feminine stuff is really someone else entirely.

[Samantha uk]

The question was why create a female persona, which is different than advocating against having a handy female name to use as a handle.

I see a reason for creating a persona -- Most of us are in a state of flux in our journey of self-discovery and not at a stable end point. During the phase of self-discovery many people feel that there are two distinct personalities housed in their body. Over time, I think most of us come to accept that it's not the case, but until you have a chance to suss it out it provides a workable model. And there are some folks for whom that's a workable enough solution that they never seem to abandon it. I think part of the appeal of a second persona is like believing the sun goes around the earth: it seems to fit the facts at first. And vestiges of it may remain even after you know better -- we still talk about sun-up and sundown even though intellectually we know that's wrong.

For me personally, it was an interim model that I left behind but the name "Jennie-cd" is still around from that time even though I no longer use Jennie in the real world and even though I no longer consider myself a CD.

That does make sense to me, although I am still trying to workout why I feel compelled to create a female form rather than just dress more feminine. Surley if I fully accept this is who I am then it should follow that I would just present a more feminine version of myself rather than trying to recreate a female version of me. Having said that, I am beginning to think that might be something I want to experiment with

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

For some, it's just something we did when we got here, because everyone else took a female name to use on this forum. Others desperately cling to anything feminine; we hate taking off our female clothing, and prefer to think of ourselves as female (for whatever reason) so thinking of ourselves as female with a female name just feels normal to us. Still others use a female name and create a whole persona to attribute all of their feminine feelings and thoughts to, because they cannot accept that it is really themselves who those feelings and thoughts are part of; in this way, they allow themselves to believe that they are still an all masculine manly man, and that all the feminine stuff is really someone else entirely.

That was how I did it in the beginning, I had a really hard time accepting it and that was a great way to bypass those difficult feelings. But as I've got older and more tolerant and accepting of others I've also become tolerant and accepting of this side of myself, and dare I say it, feel quite proud of it! and with that I'm thinking that actually this isn't someone else, this is me and I should celebrate that rather than be ashamed of it. I just don't know yet how that translates

[Ashley090]

I do prefer two personality mode realy. But I can't tell why I like it or why I refer my feme side as another person. It just is. Even alone when I think about Ashley, it not "I would like that" but it "she would like it". It maybe be weird but I percive her more as my friend then part of my actualy. All girly interest and likings and that stuff I asociate with her and she is responsible for buying all that girly stuff For long time when i see myself in mirror trying be en femme and thinks "hey thats me" then i feel pretty stupid and little bit as weirdo. But when i think more like "it's not me, that ugly girl is somebody else" then I am okay, i can stare on myself long as please
Having name or whole persona realy depends on each person
PS: call me a doctor, I should visit psychologist xD

[Lily Catherine]

I'll inevitably be signing off as Lily on this site. Credit cards can't lie though, although any purchase I made for/as Lily was done in cash. I'm not sure I'd consider myself to have created a female persona, seeing that I hardly change except in appearance and demeanour. Although it's much easier to have an English, female name to refer to myself here while I try to get away with my Chinese name in real life.

Although "perhaps James would wear that" isn't unheard of at this point.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Interesting thought. I was Nicky as a child, and still am to certain friends, so Nikki is a small step for me.

When I think of myself as Nikki I feel an affection for myself that I don't ordinarily feel. I think we use female names because it helps us feel in touch with our feminine side- and I think this has nothing to do with our sexual orientation. It just feels good.

[lynnstar]

When i am in male mode, i use my male name. But when i dress i am no longer in male mode so i dont use my male name. Using a fem name helps me feel fem and that goes along with the way i feel when dressed (hope thats not to confusing?). Anyway, just before i joined i was trying to decide on my fem name. Didnt want to use a derivative. Of my male name incase my wife or other friends find out i dress. As i. Was trying to figure out a fem name the nsme Lynn Star popped into my head. Where it came from i dont know? But i liked the name so. When i am dressed or on the forum. I am lynn star. Thats pretty much it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Samantha, For me Orchid is who I am while I am participating in this program......

[Karen RHT]

For me, using a femme name just adds to the fun.


Karen

[Krisi]

"So why do we choose to have a female name?"

Well, I would look pretty silly all dolled up and people calling me "Homer"!

"Crossdressing" covers a wide variety of people. Some just wear panties and a bra, some walk around town with a bald head and beard but wearing a dress and some of us do the best we can to look and act like women. If you are a dude in a dress, Joe, Bob, Bill, etc. is fine. If you are trying to portray a woman, it just seems logical and natural to have a female name.

[Ressie]

For me, using a femme name just adds to the fun.


Karen

I love this answer. No reason to get so serious about why IMO.

I also agree with Krisi.^

[Periwinkle]

I just use my regular name when I'm out and about. People can think whatever they want, all I want to do is wear pretty things.

[~Joanne~]

I agree with Krisi, using a male name while dressed fully as a woman just doesn't make much sense. I also agree with Karla, it's easier for communication while out with the SO shopping for clothing or whatever. It's funny cause "Joanne" being brought up while out is a niece that doesn't exist when my SO feels the need to use it and i am not against it. She is very supportive and accepting so she can do that if she wants. She doesn't call me Joanne though while I am dressed, it's always "hon". That's how I know she doesn't see me as a third person or whatever.

[Martina]

depends how you derive your name,
I hadn't thought about it until I joined the forum and then it was easy for me because my female name is very close to my male name . I personally feel happier having a name that fits with the way I prefer to dress.

I am very much like Teresa; in that my female name is close to my male name.
My female name is an extension of my male name by adding an 'A' at the end I become my female inner self.

Martina

[reb.femme]

Talk about causing people to look and go WTH? Look Marge its a damn crossdresser get the pitchforks and the gasoline.

Brilliant Tracii,

I'm sat in a pub in a very rainy Bristol, all made up and that made my gut chuckle and my shoulders to bounce up and down.

Becky

[Micki_Finn]

Simple for me. When I go out dressed it's with the intention of blending. My wife saying "Hey Bob" kind of defeats the purpose. (Bob not my real name btw)

[Jane G]

I tend to think of it as just another middle name I have. But one that I use more that my other. I also find I use it in my head when I'm giving myself a talking too, in any sort of pressure situation, regardless of how I am dressed. Works for me any how.

[Christina Page]

My name Chris works for both male and female mode. Early in my marriage, I liked to order lingerie for my wife from Victoria Secrets. Even though I entered "Chris" in the shipping & billing info, VS catalogs started showing up addressed to "Christina". My wife noticed this and started calling my femme self Christina. So basically VS named me and my wife confirmed it.

I like the name Christina better than the name Chrissy which I used to call my femme self back when I was single.

Nowadays, when we are out shopping together, me in drab, when my wife sees something that she thinks would look good on my femme self, she'll ask "Do you think Christina would like this?". We talk about Christina in the 3rd person. If I say yes, she'll help purchase the item to save me embarrassment. My wife is awesome :-)

[phili]

I obviously decided not to create a female persona- I'm not super happy with my given name, perhaps because it was my father's name, so never could be all mine. I am toying with changing it to Tom, and that would be my name no matter how I am dressed.

[Allison Chaynes]

Samantha, I understand 100%. I have realized that I am one person with multiple sides. I see some in our community who almost seem to create a fantasy character as a form of escapism, others who really ARE that female side and may be in the wrong body, some who are just guys who like wearing women's clothing, and then there are others of us who feel like they are not just male or female, but both.

[Cheryl T]

I didn't create a female persona, it was always within me. Allowing it to surface and grow dictated the need for adopting a female name.
When I'm dressed, whether in my home or out in public, the last thing I want is to be seen or identified as a male. I don't feel male, I don't act male and I don't look male. Why would I want to be called by a male name?

[lara_cd]

I would have to say, personally, that when I am dressed en femme, that being Lara is more feminine than going by my male name. When I dress I feel pretty and sexy, and using my guy name takes from that for me. Bill Shakespeare once said that "All the worlds a stage and we are merely players", so when dressed I choose to be a different player.

Lara

[CynthiaD]

My female persona was always with me, I didn't have to create it. I chose a female name because I hate my male name, and I wanted a name that matches how I feel about myself. I never refer to myself in the third person, because my female persona is the real me. My male persona is, at best, completely fake, and hardly worth referring to at all.

[ClosetED]

Samantha - I have considered this as well. But consider the match or of a coin being a person. We normally show the "heads" side (not sure if this is USA phrase) but if you turn the coin over, it has another side. What do you all it? You call the entire item 'coin', but the other side we call "tail" (no pun intended but fun to consider). So a femme name is just a simpler way to refer to the feminine presentation of us the coin. To make it clearer to others which presentation / mindset we are referring to.
Does that make sense?
Hugs, Ellen

[Kiwi]

I don't have a female persona, I am the same whatever clothes I am in. But I feel I have a slightly feminine personality to begin with.
As for a name, it is hard to feel feminine with a name that means son. I have a female name that I occasionally use with online games, but in places where I am not playing a character I try to get some variation on Kiwi.