Live ins

[Joyce Swindell]

We live in an over 55 community. My wives daughter and husband and our grandson is living with us now....due to circumstances beyond their control....long story. It was ....and still is... the right thing to do. Fact is that I was the one who suggested it to my wife and we then followed through with the invitation. Don't get me wrong I love these kids and they are helping us out regularly with things, but prior to this I could lounge around in a night gown or whatever I wanted to wear. I've been out I think twice since they moved in in Feb or March. It seems so trivial that I feel held back from being myself when I think of the greater good. I keep busy with the business and projects and family time but I do miss me. I don't like to sleep in a night gown so keeping it in the bedroom is not fulfilling at all but can be a little help....very little. Not really looking for help or suggestions...more of a venting to our community....a community that understands and frankly.....misery loves company.

Thanks for reading and ya'll stay safe out there with all the crazies!

Joyce

[Tracii G]

Very nice that you wanted to let them stay with you a while.
But don't let them start trying to run your place. I hate to see people get used and its usually family that does it.

[DIANEF]

Not quite the same, but my eldest moved out ten years ago when aged 20, I was hoping my youngest would do something similar (I left home at 17). He's now 25 and still no sign of him getting his own place. Much as I love him it really would free up a lot more me time (plus I'd finally get my hands on his bedroom to convert into my hobby den!) And no, I've never even hinted about him going, I'll just have to be patient...

[Teresa]

Tracii,
Your words are so true, My mother in her mid eighties is a victim of that one, I can't go into details on the forum but it makes me so annoyed that I can do so little to change her situation.

Joyce,
Do all the family know about your dressing ? I do find it easier now my family all know, they wouldn't stop me going to my social meetings .

Diane,
I get the opposite from my son, both my son and daughter moved out just before they were married , now my son makes the comments when are we going to move out so he can have our house, it's only lighthearted but given the chance I know he would take it now he has two young sons .

[Lana Mae]

I live with my daughter who got her BA in English and moved back into the house. She is 35 is accepting but does not want to see daddy in a dress(or any other feminine wear)! I would love to lounge around in a night gown and robe around the house! I often underdress to help fulfill my need, but sometimes it is not enough! I love my daughter very much and respect her wishes concerning dressing! You do what you have to for your kids!! Hugs Lana Mae

[AllieSF]

Congratulations for being one very awesome human being who practices what many others just preach. Keep up the good work. You will be rewarded in some way in the future and may not even realize it when it happens. Thanks for sharing.

[Tracii G]

There is a fine line between helping temporarily and enabling its just knowing when the line is crossed.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Joyce, I'm puzzled that it's an over-55 community if it's possible for children to live there... are there any rules governing the permanent presence of children?

There's nothing trivial about feeling held back from being yourself. How would your wife feel about you talking this over with your step-daughter and her husband? Could she/you handle coming out to them, even just in terms of some feminine items of clothing?

If their reaction is no way, perhaps it might be the added incentive they need to find their own place? I'm very glad to hear they help out, and it speaks highly for you that you made the offer in the first place, but just how open-ended is this arrangement?

Life is short...

[Heather J]

Joyce glad you kids are at least helping you out. Mine never did. Long story short after spending 10 years helping my daughter, grandson and son-in law, Ended up estranged from said "family" and moving to a another state. Although at first my wife and I tried to keep the lines of communication open for my grandson's sake we were ignored and have pretty much given up and haven't talked to them in almost a year.

[Joyce Swindell]

Yeah....we're breaking the rules here. But that is one of the reasons we are planning a move into a larger home. This is a double wide mobile home and we hope to find suitable housing soon. There are many other reasons that justify the move. As far as coming out to them my wife leaves it up to me. I'm trying to pick up on how they might feel and I think that some little clues that are around like going out and staying at a motel for a local girls group...they are told a social "business" meeting along with I wear my hair long....etc...they may suspect. I'm not wanting to disrupt anything right now.

[alwayshave]

Joyce, I know just how you feel. My step daughter has been with us for over a year and it has been a downer on my dressing. Fortunately, she is heading to Miami for a few weeks and I will be taking full opportunity.

[Joan58]

I live with my daughter who got her BA in English and moved back into the house. She is 35 is accepting but does not want to see daddy in a dress(or any other feminine wear)! I would love to lounge around in a night gown and robe around the house! I often underdress to help fulfill my need, but sometimes it is not enough! I love my daughter very much and respect her wishes concerning dressing! You do what you have to for your kids!! Hugs Lana Mae

She is 35,(no longer a child)living in your home,you say she is accepting.

So just why can't you do as you please in your own home?

Seems like an odd arrangement, her making the rules in your home.

Maybe you just need to tell her whats what,and begin living your life in your home.