I think the passive / submissive crossdresser being "forced" into femininity is sort of a very male thing, it only works if you find femininity demeaning rather than glorious. I hope I haven't offended anyone with that statement, but it's where I've gotten to in transition.
but if it floats your boat make sure you find a cute little sailor outfit to wear http://www.pinuppassion.com/images/pinupg8.jpg
I am not submissive at all. I am not gay. I am not a sissy. I have zero, zero, zero, zero interest whatsoever in men. I have no interest whatsoever in doing anything remotely sexually with a guy. None.
I hate the stereotype that because I crossdress, that must mean I am gay, or I am a sissy, or I am open to having some kind of sexual contact with a guy. Not the case. Wish the creepers who reach out to me in PMs and such would understand this. I actually consider it to be insulting, when some creepy guy contacts me and thinks that for some reason, I am a sissy or submissive or gay or open to any kind of sexual relations with a guy. I don't even give them the satisfaction of telling them to piss off - I simply block and ignore.
28 years old, 6' tall, 155 pounds
Measurements: 33 bust-28 waist-37 hips
Dress Size: 6, Bra Band Size: 34
Oh I'm sure you have offended some Rachael.
dolovewell I totally get what you are saying and you have every right to speak your mind.
People think because I'm gay I am a sissy or submissive and its just not the case.I don't like those PM's either.
Being forced or shamed is a kink I just don't have and its not some male "macho" thing at all.
I don't think I could ever let someone"control" me.
I think it stems from one of my older brothers that always tried to hold me down and restrain me.
The more he tried it the more I would fight him.
Last edited by Tracii G; 10-25-2016 at 09:33 AM.
Not so at all. It's simply a way of removing the feeling of being responsible for wearing girl clothes. Lots of men feel bad about doing this not because WE think wanting to be female is terrible, but because we know everyone else thinks we should; or are you unfamiliar with the derogitory comments that athletic coaches and drill sergeants make, calling their players and recruits sissies, girly, ladies, and other more crude comments, etc., to insult them in front of all the rest of the 'real men'? While we think being a girl is wonderful, we are told otherwise by, well, pretty much everyone. That's how our society thinks of us. And we know it.Originally Posted by rachael.davis
But I don't look for an outfit like you chose; I like this one: sailor_dress sm.jpg
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 10-25-2016 at 10:49 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I am totally submissive while dressed, I think it had a lot to do with just letting go of all macho isms, responsibilities ect...
Wanted to be the receiver and not the provider if that makes sense.
I don't see any "victim blaming here". There comes a time when being "politically correct" makes it impossible to exchange information. If you don't want to talk about it, don't post it.
Personally, I would wonder why someone would let someone else "molest" them for seven years.
And to answer the original question, I am not "submissive" during sex, while dressed or otherwise. Not dominant either. Somewhere in between.
Last edited by Krisi; 10-25-2016 at 11:13 AM.
I really enjoyed reading your well-written post and responses, sometimes_miss. I'm a pansexual submissive crossdresser (I self identify as a sissy) and have pondered a lot how about much the two are connected. I love M/M sex and tend to have a lot more of it than I do with women when I'm single and just hooking up, but have mostly been monogamous when dating women. I only date women but enjoy the full gender spectrum sexually. With women I can be dominant or submissive, or a 'switch' I suppose. In a perfect world, I'd probably be about 50/50 Dom/sub in a M/F part-time cuckold relationship. But I am exclusively a submissive bottom with men. And I also think it is for the exact reasons you stated - As a bottom, I am no longer the person responsible for making someone orgasm per se, so I am free to enjoy the moment and the sensations without any anxiety of 'am I pleasing my partner?'. Though I enjoy the experience and sensations immensely, I usually stay completely flaccid when having sex with men and only later on, usually by myself reflecting on the act, do I focus on my own orgasm. Since I am not really physically or emotionally attracted to men, I have always wondered if my bi/gay tendencies were more of an expression of my submissive desires than sexual preferences. And being a sub with men has taught me to be a much better top with women. By putting myself in their place, I feel like I have gained some insight into what is pleasurable to the bottom/sub.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-26-2016 at 12:26 AM. Reason: TMI
I think we're saying the same thing. If you think of feminine as demeaning then "ladies" is an insult. I'm probably rossing a moderator line but I taught very traditional martial arts, naginata is a woman's persuit in Japan - I used "ladies" in that class because everyone was.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-26-2016 at 12:27 AM. Reason: wasn't needed in quote
"And being a sub with men has taught me to be a much better top with women. By putting myself in their place, I feel like I have gained some insight into what is pleasurable to the bottom/sub."
+1
I have definitely learned some additional "do's & don'ts" this way, where otherwise I would have never been able to experience that first-hand.
For me the relationship between crossdressing and submissiveness became obvious once I understood that they were just different themes within an overarching emasculation fetish. One can be a crossdresser without being sexually submissive and one can be sexually submissive without being a crossdresser but manly men are neither. My first sexual fantasies, before I even knew what they were, were of the female domination type. Watching re-runs of Sheena:Queen of the Jungle when I was a little boy was porn to me. I would fantasize about being her monkey. lol! Later, at puberty, I came across some "gay" literature about older boys who dressed up younger, weaker boys in girls clothes and used them sexually as girls. It turned me on to imagine myself as an effeminate little fairy although I had no attraction to other males. The connection between them is that they are both emasculation themes. But just because someone is aroused by one theme it doesn't mean they are aroused by just any emasculation theme. But TG, femdom and gaydom literature is peppered with this stuff. But the theme that is common to them all is emasculation.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-26-2016 at 12:30 AM.
So my questions are: If you are a submissive, what do you feel you get out of it?
In a true dominate submissive relatiinship the submissive gets pleasure from serving their dominate. Also the domanate will be sure and take care of the submissive needs.
Why do you feel you are wired that way?
Don't know how to answer this one. Why is anyone how they are?
And how is it connected to crossdressing?
In literature it is connected to crossdressing g because it is assumed females are the weaker gender, and by crossdressing that makes you weaker.
Perhaps also...would you call yourself submissive when in male mode? Or are you agressive, confrontational?
As a bi I am submissive with men domanate with women, mostly because I have not found a woman who has taken on the domanate role. I won't say wearing woman's clothes makes me submissive though.
Part of the problem in society is poeple think a man can not be straight and submissive, it is reflected in many of the coments here as well. It always suprissess me when poeple think a blanket form for everyone in any type of group, it is never one size fits all no matter what you are talking about when it comes to humans.
this is getting way close to the line for this site. Closed
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