I can't use the women's room. It makes me too anxious. I just avoid using any public restrooms.
I can't use the women's room. It makes me too anxious. I just avoid using any public restrooms.
I agree, which is why I say that using the restroom is a big deal, and dismissing it as "not a big deal" is naive. To use the restroom as a crossdresser, you must be responsible about it. It must be done in an appropriate manner. Because there exist crossdressers who dress up with one of the main reasons to be to use women's restrooms. They view it as a thrill. Which is why I say, question your motives. Do you really need to go? Or do you just want to go so you can be inside a women's restroom?
I consider myself a Christian Right type, and my entire family as well, many of which live in Houston. They all voted against the ordinance there. I opposed it, and oppose bathroom bills, but I can honestly say I at least understand their point of view. A lot of them just don't want their young daughters exposed to someone who may be crossdressing just as a free ticket to a woman's restroom. I get it. I try to explain that those types make up a fraction of all crossdressers. I do my best to educate.
Reading your story, a single bathroom at a bar, is one thing. I think its different when you are talking about a bathroom with a lot of traffic that will could young girls inside them. At this point, you need to be very responsible and not vouyeristic.
28 years old, 6' tall, 155 pounds
Measurements: 33 bust-28 waist-37 hips
Dress Size: 6, Bra Band Size: 34
The best, cut-to-the-case, no PC, no-BS answer:
The best bathroom to use is the one in which you are in the bathroom alone. Plan ahead and know where the single user restrooms are. Done.
I know!
You can go downtown to Faneuil Hall Marketplace where there are tons of shops and restaurants (you can even have a drink at Cheers!), just across the street from Boston City Hall!
And you can nip into Boston City Hall whenever the need arises to use one of their numerous gender-neutral bathrooms, if you feel uncomfortable elsewhere.
Chances are though, that other places of business in the area have also placed gender-neutral signs on their bathroom doors as well. I live in a very small town in the Midwest where restaurants no longer have male or female single-user spaces. Both spaces are now available for all genders.
Reine
Of course there are tons of variables involved.
Not only in how one presents themselves, for example, which I personally think is a big factor (others may disagree)... But also as you mentioned, location -- and who may be in those restrooms at the time.
My first time, at a hetero bar, no less, with no young kids to worry about, and yet I was *still* apprehensive. Yes, it was a single with a lock on the door. But tipsy GG's can still get pissed about it & cause a scene or "rat me out," LOL.
Though take another hetero bar/club... Multi-person men's room? With a bunch of rowdy drunk dudes in there? Yeah, might not be the better alternative, either. And in those instances, I used the women's (save for one Halloween when I just used the guy's -- I didn't really care, wasn't waiting in line with the GG's, thanks).
LGBT club? Pfft.. Does it really matter which restroom??
Obviously I used to mainly keep my "long-haul" 100% femme stuff to a social setting, whether publicly or privately. I was not one of those who would spend all day at the mall or whatever... My shopping was always limited to a quick stop at a convenience store or something, LOL.
That said, my original posts stand, whatever the situation: Use your best judgement. And also, it can be an issue / big deal to a whole host of groups above & beyond the GG's, including one's own self.
Because no matter what you do, there's always someone who may potentially make a big stink -- pun not intended.
Last edited by ellbee; 10-30-2016 at 08:54 PM.
I thought I looked pretty passable so my first experience in a restaurant was at Changs and their stalls go from the floor to the ceiling. It was a good thing too because just to use the toilet, I had to peel off my Sweater, dress, slip, and lower my pantyhose, and that darn body briefer --I was standing in my panties then lowering them just to use the toilet. Good thing they didn't have a fire then.
When I dressed without the wig I would use the men's room, now wearing the wig I use the ladies room. I have never been challenged, women either avoid eye contact, smile and nod or gush and compliment. I assume that they believe me to be transgender. And yes I always sit unless it's a single.
Last edited by Majella St Gerard; 10-31-2016 at 02:30 PM.
I would look for the unisex handicapped or companion bathrooms when available otherwise, I would use the women's bathroom. The only time that you are really exposed is entering, exiting, and washing the hands. If it real busy, I'd look for the least used restroom in the place. Maybe even stop at places like a Dollar General that have small bathrooms that are one at a time use.
Thanks again girls. If I have to go it will be in a single use bathroom. My decision is based on avoiding any problems with guys in the mens room or girls in the ladies room. I would prefer to use the men's room but that's where I'm afraid that someone would start trouble and then it could get physical. I have no desire or get no no thrill out of using the ladies room and it wouldn't make me feel more feminine. I would only use it if I was confident I could avoid a confrontation. I hadn't thought of the gas stations and certain restaurants that would have single use bathrooms. I'm flexible where I go tomorrow so that's what I'll do.
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well girls took the advice of using a private family room. there was one in Target. How do you like my new gray wig btw
Oh dahling, you're too young to wear a gray wig. But I love it.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Babs....with your looks (specially the new gray wig)....honey...I say 'you go wherever the hell you want'
You did what I would have suggested so good for you.
Love the gray wig, Babbs....you rock!
Women's bathroom.
To avoid talking I keep a card in my purse that says "LARYNGITIS".
It works.
DON"T linger.
In and out.
Only needed to use the ladies loo once. Also touched up my make-up after. Two or three ladies were also in there, they just smiled and carried on with what they were doing.
I did not have any trouble at all. Mind you it was a private function.
I must say that the ladies toilets were a bit `al a posh`. Much better than the male toilets.
Julie.
From my experience, I've only used the women's restroom in the past like at a crowded mall. Last week, I had to ask for someone to open the restroom for me at a store, the manager went and unlocked the women's restroom for me which I thought was very nice of him. No problems there.
I don't dress to impress, I dress to outdress
Here in Houston I came across something that would be a resolution of the entire "bathroom issue". In a popular restaurant the bathroom consisted of a long wall of individual and very private, lockable "stalls" while on the opposite wall was a line of sinks for washing hands and a wall of mirrors so one could check makeup etc.
Now to make sure this works we need a change in bathroom habits. No stand up urinating and please make sure that the toilet stall is left clean. Personally I dislike using bathrooms in popular places such as airports. I always use a stall and sit and the number of times I have come across wet and dirty toilet seats is legion. I once mentioned my disgust with the way males use bathrooms to a female friend and she told me that women's bathrooms could be just as disgusting.
Why are we such slobs?
CONSUELO I used to volunteer at my Church and would clean the bathrooms. From my experience women's restrooms are always far worse in terms of cleanliness and neatness than men's restrooms.
28 years old, 6' tall, 155 pounds
Measurements: 33 bust-28 waist-37 hips
Dress Size: 6, Bra Band Size: 34