Finding acceptance at work

[StefaniLara]

My HR manager knows about me now. I say now, but she's known for a while. My Stefani Facebook profile keeps showing up on everyone's list of suggested friends, so I'm sure more people know about me. My HR manager accepted it without any trouble, and she peppered me with questions, respectfully. So far, everyone who knows about me has been accepting. My fears that the world will come to an end if my secret were to come out has been unfounded. What's harder to deal with is that I'm really not the center of the universe. Go figure. Those who do know, I'm sure, will defend me should someone decide to start trouble because of it. It's actually quite moving.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like a good start

[deebra]

At the early age of 24 glad you found the right path for your life. Look at how many great years are in front of you.

[Lana Mae]

I am not sure where I stand at work. One coworker suggested a nail salon which is now where I go. I do get my fingernails painted with clear. I am sure my coworkers have noticed but nothing was said. I do not act feminine at work. I do clown around at times but nothing feminine! I may be out to my coworkers but nobody is saying anything!! Hugs Lana Mae

[suzanne]

I'm not officially out at work. The work I do requires coveralls, and a dress is just wildly impractical, so it's not an issue. However, I sometimes want to dress to go somewhere after work. I bring my girl clothes into my shop in a bag, change in my office (I'm always alone in my shop, btw) and go out to my car. No one has seen me, but I may have been recorded on the security camera system. I don't care, I'm ready to be out and I won't lie if asked about CDing, but I don't see any need to make a public announcement.

[Jenni Yumiko]

My old boss is mtf and another high level person is ftm at my work. No one cares as long as you don't cause outages.

[CartoonistChick]

Where I work at now, I have to be in uniform (red shirt, black khakis, black shoes) sooooo I don't get to wear what I want unless it's underneath my uniform...although I am getting away with wearing a red turtleneck, at least for now. At my previous job though, I had much leeway on what to wear, especially during the colder months and since I ran a shipping & mailing store by myself most of the time.

I hate being restricted on what I can wear for the day....

[Rogina B]

Selectively.."out as a ? " It is all good ! [I have been through all of it] I was wondering what you are self describing as..Transgender person,or someone that enjoys feminine clothing ? I found that the "transgender label" makes further development [after acceptance],go smoothly.. Never flinch because it is only a big deal if you make it one !

[stlmichelle]

Glad you all can be as open as you are, even as I type this I am listening to my co-workers denigrate lgbt people. Soo in the interest of self preservation my dressing remains secret and under my clothes.

[Dana44]

I am glad for you. HR will indeed support you but not all people will. But if you go this way do your job well and it should turn out alright.

[Rogina B]

Glad you all can be as open as you are, even as I type this I am listening to my co-workers denigrate lgbt people.

Can you see that someone underdressing is not in their hateful sights ? But how would you explain yourself to them if you were caught or outed? You do it because? I think filling in the blank is really important so I asked for StefaniLara to explain the label she wants to wear for them..

[stlmichelle]

I have been purposely outed before to a different set of people. I was furious at the person that did it to me and that day I swore to myself that no one would ever be able to do that to me again. If the time comes that I am either accidentally or purposefully outed I am going to own it, I have, as much as I can, prepared myself for it. Until that day comes I see no need to tip my hand. However, instead of joining I do try to offer insight to it, but you can only say so much.

[Rogina B]

It is difficult for you to be hiding in an nonaccepting work world,for sure !

[StefaniLara]

At the early age of 24 glad you found the right path for your life. Look at how many great years are in front of you.

24? I haven't been 24 in 16 years, lol. I'm, well maybe not exactly old, but well on my way.

[Sissy_Michelle]

StefaniLaura,

There wouldn't be an issue if I came into work tomorrow fully dressed. I may get a few looks, but I would only have to say this is who I am now. I would probably lose a few friends but would gain some new ones I am sure. This company prides itself on it's diversity... However I may have been braver when I was Active duty, but for now I only underdress, and only few people, here know I do. They tell me all the time that they cannot tell what I am wearing, and not to worry so much. We go out on several "ladies" excursions either lunch or evening drinks after work.

From your picture you look very passable. If I looked as passable as you I would seriously consider it. I guess when you're ready to make the leap, have a close group of folks that know and will be there to support you. The ones that you don't know as well are the ones that may cause or say something. Just remember it is your life. Your happiness that counts, not theirs.

Oh ! Almost forgot... Facebook has the strongest facial recognition program on the market and it's free. Our government uses it to find people.

Good luck

@---}------
Michelle