First of all I consider myself to be very lucky when it comes to having an accepting wife. I have read a lot of stories and see that a lot/most of us here are in either a DADT or they are completely hiding their stash from their wife/girlfriend/SO. She never says anything when I buy something new and I can dress freely in front of her. I know she isn't 100% thrilled with me dressing, but she does support me. I can even get her to go shopping with me occasionally. So because of how she feels towards me dressing, I try to not dress in front of her too much, especially since she married a man.
We have a small closet in our house that isn't the easiest to access. While our kids were living here, we used it for storage mostly my comic books. Yes I collected comic books, but haven't bought any for a LONG time. My wife suggested one day that I could hang my stuff in there. So I moved everything out and bought a rod that would work. I also put some contact paper down since some of my things are too long and would be touching the bottom.
I have known for a long time that I have a lot of nightgowns, but today I counted them. I have 27 long nightgowns, 2 nightgowns that come to just above my knees. In the closet I also have 2 maxi dresses and 2 slips. I also store my one pair of high heels and one pair of flats in there.
In the closet that we share on my side I have 2 pair of women's jeans and one woman's shirt.
In our bedroom in one of my dressers, I have 12 bras and 2 sports bras along with my breast forms. I also have 5 teddies and one body brief. I also have my one corset and 2 waist cinchers and 2 half slips. This does not include all of the different panties I own. The style of panty that I enjoy wearing has changed through out the years and I have not thrown a pair of panties out unless they were worn out. Plus 1 pair of fishnet pantyhose, one pair of regular pantyhose and several thigh high stockings and one garter belt.
I know compared to some my collection is small, but to think about how much money I have spent on women's clothing is mind blowing, especially since I don't dress to pass. Yes I do wear panties 24/7, but other than the jeans and stockings I don't wear anything out in public. I even wore panties to the doctor's office this year for the first time.
When I am home alone, I start thinking why me?
Why do I enjoy wearing these things that I don't wear in public?
I know I am more relaxed when I am dressed, but I sometimes panic when I hear car doors shutting outside our house. It is always the neighbors, but I still stress for just a little bit.
I did finally tell my daughter about my crossdressing, and she was accepting but I got the opinion she didn't really want to see me either. After raising her from around 6 years old until 14 she went to visit her mom (my ex-wife) for the summer in a LARGE city. Just before she was suppose to come back she asked if she could live with her mom, even though I had custody I said yes. Knowing she was more exposed to a lot of different people I knew she would be more accepting than my son or my wife's kids. Being 54 I know death is getting closer and I didn't want her to have any surprises if I died and she had to go through my/our stuff.
Why am I writing this?
I guess just to get it off my chest and to vent a little. Yes I can talk to my wife about all this, but it is hard for her to understand. I asked her a long time ago if she would be interested in joining this site, but she showed no interest.
I really don't expect any comments (since I normally don't get many) but I would welcome anybody's opinion on what is going on with me?
I still enjoy wearing all my stuff, but I also wonder why I do want to wear women's clothing.
Thanks for listening (reading) to me