Mistake......told the wrong person I dress.

[savannaxdrsser]

I told one of my wife's girlfriends that I crossdress, I gave a brief history about myself and said that I have a strong feminine side that enjoys expressing itself by dressing. I felt that she would be understanding, and she appeared to be. She asked a few questions and even kidded me some by referring to me as Caitlyn. A later conversation though had her wanting to tell my wife, I said that I wanted to keep this from her and it didnt affect our relationship at all. A few weeks later, she told my wife and things got real sticky, I denied everything and said I was drinking, which I was, and made up the whole thing. Nothing I present is feminine, and wife and I are together a lot.

I feel terrible, both for the lie to her, to my wife and to denying my feminine side. I will work thru it, but im thinking others have had similar experiences. Writing about it helps!

Thanks!

[Meghan4now]

That's a pretty big oops. Good luck with this. My suggestion is now that the cat's out of the bag, you need to be honest with your wife. From a practical perspective, I doubt seriously that you can maintain this front for long. The truth will come out.

Better for you if you control when and how. I predict that it will be painful though, so be ready. Not only do you have the whole CD issue, but now you've confided a major secret to someone, betraying your wifes confidence. That well could be a bigger issue.

[DIANEF]

Well there's a lesson learned! Did you wife believe you? and how come you could tell your wifes friend and not her. First off I'm not judgeing, as a closet dresser I have come very close to revealing my secret to someone who I thought I could trust but just managed to stop myself in time, Apart from those on this forum my wife will be the first to know. Hope things work out for you.

[greeneyes]

Could this possibly have been a way that you subconsciously chose...to tell your wife? I mean it was HER friend you told. Don't you think that now that she has heard that she will be looking around and realize it is true anyway? I think you should just tell her. I know easy for me to say? right? but won't it be worse when she catches you, or finds something of yours and realizes you lied to her?
Just a thought.
I see this as an opportunity, not a mistake.

[savannaxdrsser]

Thanks, I think things will work, but I cant tell my wife I dress, she is just not open to other life choices!

[Tracii G]

Telling the other woman and confiding in her over your wife was really a bad move.
Lying about it to your wife was the second bad move because now you will have to deal with the "how can I trust you anymore" feeling she might get because of your lying.
Plus I have to ask why were you drinking with another woman?
You are in trouble so I wish you luck getting this all sorted out.

Can't tell your wife ?? You said the other woman told her already so yes she knows.

[savannaxdrsser]

Just to clarify and not to belittle the point. I texted all this, I did not say anything in person.

[Meghan4now]

So,

Your wifes friend has documented proof of what you said, including telling her to not tell your wife? And that's better than a one on one conversation because it's less believable?

Did you send pictures too?

[savannaxdrsser]

Well she told my wife in person, and wife did not indicate that she read a text so im thinking it may be gone otherwise she would have showed her im sure.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

sent a pic similar to my avatar, i was very stupid!

[Micki_Finn]

To be honest I'm not surprised and I don't mean to be belittling or anything but that was a pretty bonehead move. She's your wife's girlfriend. If your wife told one of your male friends she was cheating on you, don't you think your friend would tell you? I'm a little flabbergasted that you thought one of your wife's friends would help you deceive your wife. And now you've compounded it by lying to your wife. If you don't think they're going to get together and compare notes you don't know women. I'm afraid things may get a lot worse for you.

[DIANEF]

Ouch! You sent a text AND a picture! how much had you been drinking? Seriously, look on the bright side...... oh, there isn't one.

[immindy]

o gosh, yep I agree , you must tell your wife , and be honest about everything. It will be hard at first but , in my opinion , it is the best way to salvage your marriage. I will be praying and thinking about you . Please let us know how it all turns out .

[Kiersten]

Ouch! Pretty boneheaded move! I'll bet you would like to have a do over on this one. Did you see this going differently in your head??

Seriously, you only have one move here, You need to sit down with your wife apologize to her for lying and then be totally honest with her about your dressing.

Good luck to you.

[Ally 2112]

You did all this and your wife believes you ? I am not trying to be mean but this could get worse .I hope all the best for you

[Teresa]

Savanna,
It's a chance we all take but now my circle is so wide something may get back to my wife that she didn't know , she knows about my dressing and so do my family but there are things I've talked to other people about and we all know what a small World it can be in these circumstances .

I'm still surprised your wife's friend decided to say something, she might have known the outcome, it would be a twist of fate if the situation was reversed !

[Stephanie47]

I hope nothing or no one on the site emboldened you to do this. If you're going to keep a secret from your wife, it is best to not tell anyone else. And, to send a picture! Please, do not think your wife is naive and believes anything you're saying to cover your ass.

[Jenniferathome]

Wow. Can you see the lunacy of your premise? You told your wife's friend and not your wife! Wow. So here's the good news, your wife does not believe your denials. She may WANT to believe them, but she does not. You have a chance now to tell her and not be castigated by your denials but time is running out quickly.

[Charlotte Ann]

Wow ooooops ..... The drunk excuse ? Since when did that ever work? You are now the subject of 200 texts between girlfriends! Come clean with your wife . Your paddle went down the creek days ago and the hole in the boat isn't getting smaller. Sorry

[Anne K]

Text to your wife's friend that included a picture? Clearly, tequila was involved. Being just drunk can not explain it. Also, a good reason not to text ANYTHING of substance.

[CONSUELO]

Well just about every comment on your original post is negative and it must be making you feel very bad on top of what you have now. However the cat is out of the bag and you have no control over what might happen. Covering up will not work for long. Maybe it is time to just face what you are and tell your wife.

I'm sorry this has happened to you and that girlfriend is no friend. I have been told deep dark secrets during my life by various people and when that happens I take it a deep trust and responsibility to keep it to myself. Sadly few others feel this way. I'm sorry for what has happened to you and I hope something works out.

[IamWren]

I'm curious if you have talked to the person you told (texted) and asked her why she revealed something you had told her in confidence. If you have asked her, what was her reason for doing so? I trust you know now that confiding in her anything will not be kept to herself.

[Tracii G]

You need to stop drinking if it causes you to think telling her friend that you CD was a smart thing to do.
I'm glad to see honest replies on this thread.
You really messed up so come clean to your wife ASAP.Maybe have a lawyer in mind.

[mykell]

why were you drinking with a friend of your wife ?

Could this possibly have been a way that you subconsciously chose...to tell your wife? I mean it was HER friend you told. Don't you think that now that she has heard that she will be looking around and realize it is true anyway? I think you should just tell her. I know easy for me to say? right? but won't it be worse when she catches you, or finds something of yours and realizes you lied to her?
Just a thought.
I see this as an opportunity, not a mistake.

your friend told your wife, take this advise.....it is from a newlywed

Thanks, I think things will work, but I cant tell my wife I dress, she is just not open to other life choices!

your wife has already been told, you did it, now own it.

maybe this can help....
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...l-your-partner

best of luck.

[Judy-Somthing]

One thing I said before is make sure in your photos that the background can't be recognized.
Even floorboards can be matched like fingerprints.

[MelanieAnne]

Your first mistake was telling a woman not to tell something to another woman!