Mistake......told the wrong person I dress.

[nonameyet1234]

I'm surprised there isn't more compassion. I know for me, keeping a secret like this is really tough. I too confided in a mutual friend of my wife and I years before I told her. In this case he was more my friend than hers. It was while drinking as well. It's very lonely holding on to something like this for so many years, and sometimes you slip up. The friend I told was gay so I figured he'd offer a sympathetic ear. Looking back he would seem to be the worst person to tell because he was a bit out there. When I did finally come out to my wife (who has been nothing but suppprtive) I mentioned that I had told our friend years back when drinking. She was floored that he kept the secret. To the original poster; all I can say is that the cat is out of the bag whether you like it or not. I was pretty sure my wife would either divorce me or at the very least, never look at me the same way. In reality she brushed it off like it was nothing. I did get teased a bit by her for building it up in my head like I did. The friend is certain to show her the text of your wife says you denied it. Better to just rip off the bandaid.

[savannaxdrsser]

I have dug down deep into my self and have begun to open up to my wife about my dressing. I have started to lay some groundwork about what crossdressing is to me and when it first began to manifest itself many years ago. My wife has no reason to doubt my loyalty to her, only that i have had a secret for many years that i have not shared with her. My first obligation is to our marriage, eventually we will deal with the reveal to her girlfriend.
Thanks to all for their comments.

[mykell]

here is a knuckle bump savanna, it is one of the hardest things that i have ever done in my life so i feel for you and your courage is to be commended,
i hope that you have a favorable outcome in the end,
in case this was lost in the mix:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...l-your-partner
may help you in some small way....

[Kiersten]

Good for you Savanna!
It's not an easy thing to do. I hope it all works out for you and your wife.

[St. Eve]

Savanna
Wow what a turn of events....I am going to go with....you really wanted to tell your wife and could find no other way of getting to it (because of her intolerance) than telling someone who was likely to out you...then you would be forced to share what you know you have needed to share for such a long time but did not know how....just a story I make up....good luck....Stevie

[Territx]

Unfortunately, this is not one mistake -- it is several: excessive drinking (your judgment was at least partially impaired); telling someone other than your wife -- while at a party; texting the other woman . . . with a picture; denying it all to your wife. I think it is time to cut your losses and talk to your wife or maybe hope for a miracle. The text and photo are the kicker to this story and are bound to get out sooner or later; so, even if you could deny it, texts show who sent them. Good luck.

[savannaxdrsser]

My conversation with my wife is somewhat two-fold. First is the crossdressing part which I have explained and believe is a gender issue more that a sexual one. I have not been with another male or female and never really had any intentions for that. The second, which does have my wife perturbed is my contact with her friend, someone who we have both known for many years. While we have talked and texted at times, there was never anything of a inappropriate nature. My dressing/gender issues really expanded as the internet became available. I found out as many of you have, that there are a lot of us out there with very similar experiences, feelings and needs. I became more comfortable with who I was, before that my dressing was very limited both in opportunities and I wore. I do think that maybe subconsciously I wanted some others to know in real life about my other side and maybe telling my wifes friend was a way for my wife to find out. My wife is not at all interested in seeing me dressed and probably never will. We are working out how maybe I can enjoy my other half, but that is all up in the air right now. We are not going to split up, our love is strong and I have always been there for her and will continue to be.