Evolution so much harder than i thought...(life beyond a wig)

[Jessicajane]

What I want more than becoming a woman or at least expanding my journey in that direction, is to keep my wife and family, so the decision to not engage hormones and to accept that there will be limits, as hard as that can be, was one I had to make.

Accepting this over the last year has led to real benefits and a much more harmonious relationship, I make an effort to be the man she wants ...most of the time,,,and once a week , and sometimes a little more I get to unfurl my wings and outwardly express my true inner feelings.

One of the things that I have a yearning to do is to blend the two facets of my life as closely as possible into one....the world may see two different genders even people, but I am very much a constant one person...I am sure many on here understand this, for me dressing is an expression of our true selves not becoming a new person...

Whilst reality dictates that we have to " dress up" to achieve a feminine appearance I want to limit the this to make up and clothes and so I have started the evolution of trying to grow and style my hair to something that can allow me to function in both genders, but face some serious obstacles...mother nature who is clearly trans phobic, work (sales consultant) and of course those amongst my friends and family who don't know and are constantly questioning what is going on. In addition to this is the fact that my feminine appearance has taken a hit and looks wise I have regressed in progress as I no longer wear my wig with its flowing hair permanently styled and all the advantages that gives a masculine face....but what I do get is the sense of being truly me regardless of how it looks. Below is where I am at at the momment


How have others faced this issue... I am sure I am not the only one..!!

[Emily Ann Brown]

Let me be the first to say you are beautiful. Boy do I understand. We are sisters in spirit. You look truly happy in your photos. Em

[Sara Jessica]

Let me also say that you are simply beautiful. I am looking intently at your pictures and I'm not seeing any guy shine through. All I'm seeing is the perfect and natural "soccer mom" which is such a wonderful result of your efforts in my opinion.

I will also add that your first paragraph could essentially mine as well. Making that declaration has led to inner peace and relationship harmony that I could not have imagined previously. I too have been on a natural hair journey that led it to cascade over 16" down my back, only to be cut back into a length that is similar to yours (sans the bangs, I am so curious as to how you deal with those in guy mode). I have since continued to cut it back in an effort to push the boundaries of what I can get away in both modes, looking for more ease in guy mode but still "getting away with it" when presenting as a female. That effort led to it being just a little to short to legitimately pull it off. While I continue to keep the back cropped very short, the length on top and in front has been most important and the longest section now reaches my chin once again which gives me a lot of versatility when styling.

All of this I offer to point out that we seem to have so many similarities. I used to enjoy those "once a week" opportunities to really let her shine through which included a wig and makeup. What happened though as my hair grew out is that makeup became optional, at least at home. No need to put on a face to hide "him" because "her" is always there by virtue of simply being. While it may not be the perfect form of expression, my hair has gone far to contribute to my inner peace. Consequently, those now fleeting moments when I truly have time alone at home, I generally cannot be bothered with makeup.

Don't despair the loss of the wig. The only thing it offers you over natural hair is a degree of anonymity when out & about. While that crowning glory is absolutely necessary for most in these pages (coining your phrase, thanks to Mother Nature, it is what it is), some of us are truly blessed in this area. Make the most of being one of the lucky few, it seems you already have.

[alwayshave]

Jessica, Beautiful pictures.

[mykell]

hi jess, i think you may be too critical over your look, i dont see male features and you made me look.....soccer mom works,
but what im most jelous of is how happy you and your daughter look together.....thats priceless,
as for the intrusive comments from friends and family.....do whats best for you....

[Kiersten]

Jessica, lovely pictures. You look wonderful.

[bridget thronton]

You look happy at that speaks volumes

[JustJoni]

Your pictures are lovely, and you can see your happiness shining out in each and every one. You are absolutely owning your look.

[Mickitv]

You look beautiful and happy. Be content with where you are.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jessica Jane , It is easy to see that your beauty is much more than just skin deep ......

[Nikki.]

all of the above, plus I want you to know your journey is inspirational to me. My goal is to reach a similar place

[Tracii G]

Jess I know exactly how you feel.
People have noticed my changes in the last few years but its not been a problem yet.
Your pics are really nice and I can see you are at peace in them.
Wish you all the best.

[SharonDenise]

Thanks foe posting. Wishing you the best with your goals.

[Dana44]

Your hair is at a really nice length and you look very feminine. MY Hair is halfway down my back. Yes it looks feminine also but harder to style and in male mode wear a pony tail. I have been called mam in places that I was in male clothes. You look natural and that's probably good enough.

[Krisi]

You do look like a woman in the photos and that's good, but the world outside the crossdressing forums expects people to be male or female just like dogs and cats or cattle. If you must be "male" in everyday life for your job or other things, there's a limit to how far you can drift towards the female. If you are in sales, you probably have to keep that "male" thing going because many people are uncomfortable dealing with someone that's not like themselves.

While it would be great to have long feminine hair, this may set you back in your career and social relationships. A wig allows you to put it on and take it off as necessary.

[Beauty Parlor Bev]

Jess,

Let me start by saying that your hair is gorgeous! It is at a great length that you can do a lot of things with it and still tone it back for male mode if you want to. I am also in sales, actually sales management, so I know the need to keep it somewhat "male" or at least neutral looking. My hair is about exactly your length and I have actually been getting it permed for almost a year which gives me enough body to be able to give it some style with a blow drier and/or curling iron. If I really want to enjoy my femme self, I go to the Beauty Parlor for a roller set and comb out, what fun! For work, I just slick it all back with setting lotion and then a heavy dose of hairspray. I am not a huge fan of slicked back hair on guys (myself especially) but this allows me to keep it at a length that gives me some styling options. Hey we have to make sacrifices to do what we really want to do! These pics were several months ago and my hair wasn't quite as long as it is now, but still long enough to have some fun with!

IMG_1722.jpgHairdo by Lo.jpg

[Beverley Sims]

Jessica,
As long as you can evolve successfully without hormones life should be beautiful.

I think you look just the part.

Very successful too.

[Jessicajane]

Firstly thank you everyone for your comments ....soccer mum will do just nicely thank you for that xx
Sara I do think like you My more feminine hair will help me to find a better place even if it is just because t is quicker and easier to visit Jess..!!
Nikki not sure of being an inspiration to anyone...but thank you for that thought may you reach your peaceful place soon than I best of luck sis xx
To be called mam ..Dana would be my greatest achievement ...I have been mis gendered but only at distance...
Nice pics Bev...lol sales is the worst place to be trans....I do my male hair as u suggest and like u I'm not a fan of it but it slows me to have the length I need xx

[Lana Mae]

Jessica, nice that you can grow your hair! Male pattern baldness for me! I just love your picture with your daughter! Hugs Lana Mae

[Teresa]

Jessica, You look great the way your hair is growing and styled, it must be nice to be able to dispense with a wig, I know you still have that option if you want to look diferent on occasions . I'm afraid I'm in the camp where my hair does still grow but not in the right places, I'm still glad the wig can achieve the transformation I prefer. I know it does have it's down side having a more female style on occsaions .

[S. Lisa Smith]

As you can see, we all think you look fabulous!!!! I love your hair and just wish I could grow mine like that. I have mostly skin on the top of my head....