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Thread: Sometimes, being a man dressing as a woman is completely acceptable

  1. #1
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    Sometimes, being a man dressing as a woman is completely acceptable

    Hi y'all

    Last weekend I had a wonderful gender free weekend in Atlanta. Saturday afternoon we were in a group of 5 to visit a small craft fair in downtown Atlanta...three CDs and two GGs. I did not witness a single person acting strangely or confronting any of us (doesn't mean no-one was weird behind our backs - I just did not witness it.) We all wondered through and spoke to many of the vendors. Each interaction I experienced and witnessed was no different (I imagine) than if we would have been dressed in drab. What a fantastic experience I will hold on to for some time....

    A wonderful shout out to the Atlanta Sig-Ep community - you rock.

    Peace
    Stevie

  2. #2
    Reality Check
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    Being a man dressed as a woman is often OK to people who are hoping to sell him something. Go to a rowdy bar late at night and it may be a different story.

    I'm glad you had a good time but just don't read anything into this. Most people are uncomfortable around obvious crossdressers and bad things can happen.

  3. #3
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    Hi Eve, That sounds like you had a wonderful time......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  4. #4
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    bad things can happen in rowdy bars if your dressed like a guy too. Been there a few times. -A.

  5. #5
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    You pick your venues.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Craft fairs and music fests bring out the alternative, flower people and earth people types, wearing this type of clothing makes it easier to pass.

    Basically you can blend in better.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    You pick your venues.
    I believe the issue with carefully selecting "safe" venues (and I'm not saying one shouldn't!) is that it can begin to warp one's thinking -- perhaps in an ultimately dangerous way.


    Pick a nice & comfy "safe" time & location, and you experience no big issues? You could potentially start to think *and* repeatedly telegraph to other CD'ers that everyone everywhere out there is cool with it all, that nobody notices, that nobody cares, everything is awesome, so just get out there & do it, etc.

    Of course, that's far from reality, because not exactly everyone has a "Have You Hugged A Crossdresser Today?" bumper sticker on their car.


    And it's also not fair to others, who start to buy into all the positivity -- until they end up going out somewhere & finding out firsthand that's not actually always the case.

  8. #8
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Laura, Warnings are good for all of us. also, shit can happen anywhere and at anytime regardless of how one is presenting. To add to the positive vibe, I have never had a truly bad moment out and I am closing in on 1,000 times out dressed and interacting with others. I am no fool and keep my danger antenna up all the time. I also do not expect for my times pout to always be 100% perfect, as they have almost always been. The others that you worry about are adults and should have enough common sense to watch out for themselves. If they don't, then maybe they will unfortunately learn the hard way.

    After you have been here as long as I have, you will see that there are a lot of cautionary posts that join all the positive ones. So, I think that we have a pretty good balance here. I will also say, that if people only listen to the negative posts they are doing themselves a disfavor and may be staying in their locked closets longer than they really need to.

  9. #9
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    and yet I go to vanilla places daily and rarely get harassed....Hmmm. Yes, this is Denver, big city, bright lights. I don't go where I wouldn't have gone as a male but I didn't go there because I was cautious. And I'll tell you, the vast majority don't care or even notice. The rule is "Everyone has an agenda. You don't interfere with their agenda and they won't care or even notice who you are". Crossdressers (I assume) aren't stupid. They don't jump into the river without checking the flow. Of course I am willing to listen to those who did
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  10. #10
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Some say life is peachy and I believe them. Some say life is scary and I believe them too. So now what? People state their experience, others read it. You have to make your own decisions. I can never tell you that you won't have a problem if you go out, I can only tell you I'm out every day and have not had a problem. I do know of people who went out and had a problem but oddly, they have always gone out again.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Stevie,
    That is certainly a memory you'll hold onto!
    At least until the next one comes along.
    Maybe give that rowdy bar a try next.
    Just try not to make anyone too uncomfortable
    while you're in the place.
    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    I smile because you are my friend, and
    I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!

  12. #12
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    Stevie,
    I'm so pleased you had a good time, OK maybe it was safer situation, but people will respond to to you in kind. I'm sure if you go looking for trouble you will find it , OK some have posted stories where something bad happened when they didn't expect it , Lorileah makes that perfectly clear .

    Sorry Krisi most people aren't uncomfortable, maybe in the UK we are more accepting. As AnnieMac says a rowdy bar can mean trouble for anyone if they don't take care.

  13. #13
    Member Lainie's Avatar
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    At 20, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you.
    At 40, you don’t care what anybody thinks of you.
    At 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.

    Use common sense, stay alert, be nice. What else can you do?

    Lainie

    You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!

  14. #14
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    Mind your own business and don't start any crap and you should be fine.
    It is wise not to go to some parts of town in either mode and you what part of town that is in your community.

  15. #15
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    You all are right: choose your venue carefully. I am not a bar kind of girl ... or guy. I find that combining alcohol and crossdressing leads to trouble. Come to think of it, alcohol combined with most things leads to trouble soon enough.

    Jennie, how true! Even those who trouble finds while out and about soon go out and about again.
    Last edited by abby054; 11-18-2016 at 05:19 AM.

  16. #16
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abby054 View Post
    I find that combining alcohol and crossdressing leads to trouble.
    And sprained ankles. Just a word to the wise...
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  17. #17
    Southern Belle Phoebe Reece's Avatar
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    What Stevie didn't mention was that over the weekend we also had her out for meals at three different restaurants (The Corner Pub, J.R.'s Barbecue, 57th Fighter Group) in different parts of town and took her to a play at Onstage Atlanta. She was fully immersed in mixing with the ordinary people from Friday evening thru Saturday evening. There were no problems for crossdressers at any of the venues we visited. The metro Atlanta area is a great place to get out and about and be treated with respect while doing it. Generally speaking, if you conduct yourself as a lady around here, you'll be treated as one.
    Phoebe

  18. #18
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    It's wonderful that you all had a great time!!!
    Please call me Lisa!

  19. #19
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Krisi, I've been out as Sherry to a few craft fairs and the like. U r absolutely correct about vendors treating u differently than other attendees. The vendors aren't constantly stopping u for photos!

    I got to know and love Atlanta during my 5 SCC's there. A VERY friendly and accepting bunch of folks there.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoebe Reece View Post
    What Stevie didn't mention was that over the weekend we also had her out for meals at three different restaurants (The Corner Pub, J.R.'s Barbecue, 57th Fighter Group) in different parts of town and took her to a play at Onstage Atlanta. She was fully immersed in mixing with the ordinary people from Friday evening thru Saturday evening. There were no problems for crossdressers at any of the venues we visited. The metro Atlanta area is a great place to get out and about and be treated with respect while doing it. Generally speaking, if you conduct yourself as a lady around here, you'll be treated as one.
    Amen, Sister, thanks for the great weekend....such a treasure to be Stevie out and about with lovely people doing normal human things among the muggles.....peace, Stevie

  21. #21
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    And sprained ankles. Just a word to the wise...
    How did you find this out?

  22. #22
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    It was St. Patrick's Day. In New Orleans. The French Quarter. I've come to think of it as "Hurricane season" because after that fourth hurricane there seemed to be a strong crosswind at heel level. Fortunately there was a store selling sneakers (trainers?) on the way back to the hotel.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

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