Is it actually to do shopping or is it to read people's reaction to your presence? Reading lots of the experiences shared on the forum, it seems like the focus is on other people and not the actual shopping. Is the attraction of going to the mall is to test the waters of your blending abilities? Do you think once you become used to the same old, same old reactions that you will become tired of going to the mall?
You mentioned three and they are all right but a fourth and most important is dressing as a woman and getting out in public, like a bird being let out of a cage, you are out of the protection of the house and feeling equal and doing what other women and society does. It validates yourself and also that of being a CD. In other words just wanting to blend and accepted as any other person in the mall. Having done this it really feels good while dressed walking in the mall, going in stores, trying on female clothes, buying them, having a bite to eat and passing just as any other women. Not calling attention in any way, wanting to be a grain of sand on the beach and it feels so nice when you aren't even noticed. And doesn't it feel really good dressed and wearing female clothes; how you walk different wearing heels and the click on the mall floor, the protrusion of breasts, hose, panties, bra and a dress and the taste of lipstick and earrings. It feels very nice not to feel like a man.
I think that the mall is a good open public space that flows. As a CD, it's important to have situational awareness for safety and the mall environment just makes that easy. Practically everyone is involved with their own agenda and don't notice at all. When noticed, you're initially acknowledged as a female. You've put a lot more work in your appearance than most people there, right? And, the occasional SA that knows you are male is usually just complimentary.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Personally, being out enfemme is a form of validation. I don't want to be noticed or stand out and if I felt I would be easily clocked based on choice of clothes and/or makeup, I would not go out. Seems strange, but the validation isn't people noticing, it is that they are not noticing which affirms my transformation from masculine to feminine. It also gives me feelings of freedom for some reason.
This is an interesting question and I'm enjoying reading other girls' take on it.
Full length mirrors 😜
I think you said it best. I have only been once in Las Vegas but am trying to get up the nerve to go out locally to the mall.Originally Posted by deebra
I will have to have a purpose to go to the mall as it is 30+ miles away. Like going to a MAC counter or real shopping. Yes it is a test ground for whether you blend in or not. But I am not obsessed with it. Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
You have to start somewhere, to gauge a reaction.
Down by the wharves does mot have much attraction for me.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
If you want to go out, you have to go someplace. Driving around aimlessly in a car doesn't accomplish much and walking around alone at night is not safe. In my case, I have a nearby city where I can go and pretend to be a tourist or a business person on an errand but a shopping mall is just a convenient place to go as a destination to shop or just walk around looking in the windows. It's a place to test your presentation.
If you are living full time as a woman, you have probably passed this stage. In that case, you are at the mall to buy something.
A mall is simply a place to go. For many of us who are part time in presentation, we may not have the luxury of getting together with friends at our own homes. Therefore, we go out to places such as malls and restaurants in order to be social. Once those get old, we might branch out to any other place a women would go (grocery stores, Home Depot, movie theaters, concerts and other events, etc).
I think that once one is at a mall, it becomes the equivalent of a gauntlet with respect to whether a person has the stomach to be out & about, given the number of people who are typically around at any given time. This is where we learn not to let what others might be thinking bother us.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
For me, if the mall could be completely empty of people and I could still experience the clicking of the heels on the marble floors, hear that echoed, feel the different climate zones on me (legs and feet cool, thighs a bit warmer, torso and head top of head warm), and see the lovely colors/fabrics/styles, then I would be just fine. But this is not to be.
So I go, even with the crowds and blend in.
And bored with it? NEVER EVER!!!!!
Last edited by BillieAnneJean; 11-22-2016 at 10:25 PM.
My reasons are the same as everybody else's. I'll take the "don't you get tired of it" part.
Yes. Totally bored by it. But, I don't know what else to do. I never dress to stay home. When I go shopping I at least try to buy something, but more times than not there's nothing I want, and certainly nothing I need. It's strictly to get out. I go to the grocery store, etc., too. Those places can at least be a little productive. Boring as it may be, it still serves a purpose. It's just what I do.
I go to the mall, just like I go to the grocery store, the beauty supply store or where ever. At first it is a thrill, then it becomes part of your everyday existence. I don't worry about who is judging me or looking my way, but then again I also don't go shopping in 5 inch heels and a sequin evening dress. I dress pretty much like the other 50 year old housewives at the store.
Now about those heels and evening dress? Love them, but finding a place to actually wear them out is the challenging part.
I know for me it's a lot of what you say and it's also that I'm not one that goes out to a bar or out to a show so for me
it's my outlet to get out as my female self. Now that I'm not afraid to interact it's even better so for me it did give me
confidence to be out and not worry much what people thought
To shop mainly, but like deebra pointed out, I spend all ths time shaving, putting on makeup, and putting together an outfit, why would I want to contain myself to my own home after expending all that effort?
It literally is like being let out of a cage. It would be like a good author writing a book and only keeping it to himself, or a good painter painting a nice piece of art and keeping it hidden in his closet.
To me I almost consider my crossdressing like art, I transform myself and therefore want others to see it.
When I go out in public its always with a purpose, but there are times when I accomplish my purpose yet still want to be out, so a mall is a good place to kind of stroll around.
28 years old, 6' tall, 155 pounds
Measurements: 33 bust-28 waist-37 hips
Dress Size: 6, Bra Band Size: 34
Because I love to shop and try on clothes. It is also a good place to meet friends after work as there are some nice places to eat or grab a drink there. This time of year it is fun to go Christmas shopping there . So basically , a girl loves to shop , meet friends and go out . Is not this what malls are for ?
I totally empathize with your attitude, DoLove.
There is something about getting dressed and GOING OUT SOMEWHERE that just makes sense.
And for me there's another element to goads me along. I overcame my shy nature long ago by developing a sense of sheer audacity; almost brazen behavior. Intuitive and impulsive, it effects a lot of my actions, and often got me in trouble (nearly killed) in my military flying career.
In the few times I've dressed and gone out in public, I've done it boldly, and with a kind of "Oh yes. Look at me. That's right. I'm a large man in a beautiful dress, darling." - kind of a CD chip on my shoulder (??). Do you ever get that way?
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
As I'm not 'out', and don't go out, I can't be sure. But I believe it has to do with the strong desire to be accepted as a female. While that might not really be happening, it's easy to pretend that being tolerated and not pointed out as a fraud, as passing. So go out, walk around, then come home and say to one's self, 'Gee, I must appear to be a woman to everyone. This is great! I pass! Wheeeeeee! So that fantasy feels good, which is why people do it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Yeah it's really about the shopping for me.
with me it is people watching girl wise ,not in the typical male sense but that of the girl sense of I wonder what I would look like dressed like that or I wish I had that figure observing the different walks , the fashion to age match this has helped me keep from making a lot of mistakes that would attract unwanted attention ( no a 62 yr old should not dress like a corner street girl) basically a jeans and boots girl type easy to blend in with ,and more importantly shopping wise I own the moment no matter how I present the s/a's really bend over backwards from fitting to what works fashion wise and most importantly put you at ease
hugs phylis anne
The mall has some nice stores and you can be there and nobody bothers you. I go there to buy something and they have nice lunch or dinner centers and it is relaxing to be there. i have been there en femme and been all over the mall and the SA's are very nice.
Part Time Girl
If you dress in camouflage and go to the beach you will stand out. If you go where the trees are you will blend in. Stores and the mall are where the trees are.
Malls are a great place to test the waters when first going out. It is a far (physically) safer place to go out dressed when starting out than going out a night, especially alone. There are people to try and interact with safely too.
I don't do much actual shopping at malls anymore since I can find what I want online so much cheaper. But it is sometimes a fun outing.
Well put, Kimberly...The movie theater for me a place where's there's plenty of trees too! Yeah, your right, camo at the beach would definitely get you some really weird looks! In the town where I live, if you go to our local Walmart, camouflage is usually the fashion of the day. The only thing camo I own is a pair of preppy saddle shoes with camo saddles. Most of the shoe, other than the camo saddles and back, is a really light beige suede. I'll occasionally wear the with a khaki colored pair of jeans but definitely not dressed as Scarlett. There's a lot of deer killers around here. I respect all hunters if they eat what they kill. But if I went out in the woods and killed a deer, I would probably cry for a week. I'm not a hunter. I really enjoyed your short but on point post. Well done Kimberly....Scarlett
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You're right, Linda. You definitely don't want to wear a formal ball gown to the mall, a movie theater, a bowling alley, or a restaurant. I don't think I will ever own a ball gown. My wife has about 15 or twenty of them and looks gorgeous in every single one of them. She's got the curves and other looks to pull the ball gown look off in a formal setting. She has a very wealthy buddy who's the same size she is and the wealthy lady buys about three or four gowns a year and seems to never wear them more than once. So when she's worn them her one time, she sells them to my wife for pennies on the dollar....Lucky and smokin' hot girl. She'll be wearing one of those gowns next Friday and I will be wearing a slim cut suit. I own about 20 of those. But it's never Scarlett in those suits! Your post is funny....Scarlett
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That would be one of my first stops. I bet those ladies are pretty open minded. Besides, I've gotten really good at applying makeup based on the time I have spent watching the pro videos on line displaying all the tricks of the trade. I'm always learning something new though. Mona Lisa, you look like you've got the makeup application process down pat. Your profile photo is stunning. You are like me, when dressed as a girl, they can no way tell we are anything but! Take care and have a wonderful weekend!....Scarlett
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You're funny, Cheryl...I love your reply...Quick, effective, and right to the point! Here's a great question for you...With our technology today and with our recent passing of the last guy, Gene Cernan, who left our final footprint on the moon, why haven't we gone back and set up a space station on the moon? The NASA space program created hundreds of thousands of high paying jobs back in the 60's and 70's. The Space Shuttle seemed to be a huge waist of time and money...I think it's time to go back after a 40 year absence from Gene Cernan's last footprint on our moon, don't you? Here's another question - Why do us girls have to have our mouths wide open while applying mascara?....Sincerely, Scarlett
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Yepper, and people are walking over the place and they always seemed to be so distracted with a phone, friends, and other people watching themselves but only for just a split second of notice of another person while walking pretty fast....Scarlett
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Now that's coming from a seasoned pro at this stuff. Short, sweet, and right to the point, Cynthia!...Scarlett
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I really like the "longevity of my look" thoughts. I thinks that's a great idea. To pop into an anchor store restroom to check your pretty self out. Your hair may be out of place or you might have a tiny bit of lipstick on your front teeth. How are those boots, ankle booties, or heels feeling after about an hour or two. Practicing the walking is always a great idea. Walking straight at a full length mirror inside or on the outside of some stores. The walk is important. Family restrooms are awesome and the movie theaters and Khol's always have very clean and well attended to family restrooms. I hope they become more common place...Really enjoyed your post Sarah...Well done...Scarlett
I have not yet gone out, other than to Tiffany Club once. But consider the possibilities of being out in public. Dark areas where there are few people, so you may pass better, but also risky if confronted/attacked. A movie theater - once in, you have people around you, but their focus is not on people around them and dark during movie. A mall offers a better lit area, where people are moving and do some people watching, but rarely confront anyone who is different-they just observe and may comment to people they are with. If anyone did confront, there is mall security to prevent it getting out of hand. And plenty of shopping things to just window shop like others and be out. If no one does seem to notice (or you did not notice them noticing), it is ego boost that you passed. So a safe place to try out more than driving dressed or walking during day in an relatively isolated area.
IMHO
Hugs, Ellen
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