Need help soon

[ChelseaEllie]

I don't know if I can be transgender (transsexual) or CD so here goes. I am 25, born male, and sometimes I get the longing to express, dress, and feel like a woman.

• I know I'm most likely not transsexual, but sometimes I do think about wanting to use hormones in the future.
• I not only long for feminine clothes, but also female body shape. I remember when I was still in high school, I use to look to the girls, not only did I find them attractive to me, I actually had a slight feeling of longing for that sort of stuff myself.
• I never seriously disliked my male body or social role. I guess there are certain things that may "disqualify" my manhood (being on the shorter side as a guy).
• Related to the body issue above, I want to be able to dress in swimwear (both top and bottom) associated with the opposite gender someday, and I really crave the body to pull it off good. Hormones sound like the least "fake" idea for that.

Besides all this, I know that I can't be transsexual. I never knew this for my whole life, I had no sense of being "different" in that way. If I did, I feel my parents will be much more supportive.

[Chibi]

Hello Chelsea,

I feel the same on some of those points.
Have you tried feminine clothes yet or have you told anybody how you feel?
I told a very close friend how I felt before I bought my first clothes.

Why do you think you can't be transexual or a cd?

As for the bodyshape there are a lot of workouts and tricks you can most likely find here on the forums

Kind regards

[SarahSerene]

Hi girls - first let me say welcome to the forums! There are girls here with far more experience than me who can offer wise and supportive comments - so seek and learn. That being said, as I sit here drinking my coffee this morning I thought I would chime in.

Chelsea - In the body of your post, I didn't hear a tone of particular distress, but the title is Need Help Soon. Is everything ok in general? Not knowing your path is normal. Gender expression (whatever that may be for you) is also normal. You will find as you explore gender expression, every step will feel like a big one - for example, it probably felt pretty major just putting words to (virtual) paper making your first post here. It will be the same the first time you buy women's clothing, the first time you try makeup, (assuming you haven't done these yet), all the way up to bigger steps, like the first time you venture out. Someday you'll look back on those steps and think "I can't believe I thought that was such a big deal!"

One topic to watch out for and develop a sense of awareness of - the PINK FOG. Our desire for gender expression can be so overwhelming that it drives us to do small (or big) irrational things. Learning to manage the fog will be part of maturing into your expression. There are many threads here about the fog.

You're young, so its natural to project forward to the future imagining what your life path will be. On the subject of considering hormones. I'm no expert on those either, but suffice to say I know those are a big deal - you don't go down that path without knowing what you are getting into, and without therapeutic support. If it is something you truly feel strongly about, then seek out a therapist, preferably one with expertise in gender identity. Oh! And there is no stigma associated with seeking therapy - to do so is a sign of strength! So when I say seek out a therapist I don't mean because "there is something wrong with you" because there isn't. In our world a therapist is more like your "guide" as you figure out your path.

So, I hope these few little comments help and again, welcome!

Sarah

P.S. - being young and "not tall" are gifts!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Welcome to the forum Chelsea.

I think you're overthinking it.

Perhaps try concentrating on what feels good now, today- you have plenty of time to build up experience. Only when you have experience can you start to make informed decisions like taking hormones.

What's the rush? If it feels good, do it. If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Don't try to think too far ahead.

[bridget thronton]

It does not have to be an all or nothing proposition. I agree - try some buying and wearing some women's clothing if you have not. Take things a day at a time and see where it leads

[CONSUELO]

ChelsieEllie,

First, a big welcome to this site. You will find lots of experience and wisdom here but you will have to search through many old threads to get the full picture.

Why not just express your desire to feel like a woman by dressing as fully as you can for now. Then read as much as you can of the experience of others. Go back and look at the many old and useful threads on this site. Try to make your goal one of understanding yourself and if you can, engage the help of a good and experienced therapist to aid you in that exploration. Don't worry about hormones yet. The taking of hormones is a major decision and you need to have a much deeper understanding of yourself and where you wish to travel before taking that step.

Best wishes to you and remember you are not alone. Lots of others have been in your situation.

[Teresa]

Chelsea,
Your comment about the swimwear is an interesting one, because that's how my CDing started at the age of 8-9. To me I didn't want to wear one for the feel of it but it represented a woman's body I wanted sexually not because I wanted to be a woman. The outcome was my male side and female side became entwined with my sexual needs, I now consider myself to be bi-gender.
The need to dress for so many reasons started from that point, that's why I know it's not a hobby for me I have a need to share my CDing with a woman. My counsellor said I had an internal conflict between my male and female sides and the female side was trying to take over, this tied in with long term dreams I was having at that time .
When members say that don't know how their CDing started I know exactly when mine did, at the time I had no idea why I was doing it and what it meant, when it resulted in an involuntary orgasm it was traumatic and the experience locked the whole combiation of events in my brain . I have lived with the gut feeling or need everyday since, so I know I'm not gender fluid because I feel it 24/7.
I know I have GD and I'm very close to the TS line , because I'm aware of all this I can come to terms with it and have learned to live with it.

Counselling did help, because I was able to find myself , I couldn't stay on the rollercoaster ride. So please if you can't find the answers yourself go and seek help. CDing is for life , you have to come to terms with it.

Don't even consider hormones before discovering your real needs, you can achieve a reasonable shape before going down that road.

[Kandi Robbins]

My only piece of advice is for you, especially at your young age, is not to worry about labeling yourself anything at this point.

You have so much life to live, so many experiences to have that may help shape your path for you.

From my personal experience, I am a CD, LOVE presenting myself as a woman very often, and am very comfortable doing so. But am equally comfortable in my own skin once home and all cleaned up and back to my regular self. That comfort however, took almost 50 years to achieve. You are at an age that we all question everything about who we are, whether it's regarding gender, our place in the world, etc... You appear to be smart enough to think about those things. Keep learning, asking those questions of yourself.

[Dana44]

First, Welcome to the forum. I agree with Kandi, You have a full life to live and it is nice that you are already in the thinking about who you are. For me in swimwear, i use a two piece and a skirted bottom since I am large enough that when I tuck I don't want to show anything. And it is a sexy swimsuit. Enjoy your life and try different things on to define your style and start learning about CD to transsexual. Now some CD's are really good at hiding their stuff that they can wear a one piece swimsuit and look great in them.. We have a thread on how to do that. So dive in and read threads that interest you. .

[redtea]

I'm 25 too and I am on a similar boat as you. Nothing can "disqualify" you as a man except you yourself.

Hormones are probably not a good idea if you are an inbetweener like me.

Going to a beach in a two piece with a thinner body getting feminine tan lines surely is on my bucket list too. It's really for the perverted high one could get by being in public in a swimsuit that is practically the same as panties/bra.

[IleneD]

I could not possibly provide better words of hope and advice to Chelsea.
Reading down through the responses to Ms Chelsea's questions, I am once again impressed with the wisdom, experience and maturity of my fellow Members. It is why I come here. To learn and grow.
Erudite. Intelligent. Sensitive. Kind even in disagreement. You girls have it going on.
Thank you, and Chelsea..... hang on, girl. Help is on the way if you pore over the pages of this Forum.

[SarahSerene]

Sorry to de-rail the thread for a moment, but Ilene your eloquent post reminds me of a quote from Oh Brother Where Art Thou (George Clooney to John Goodman) "I sense that, like me, you are endowed with the gift of gab."

[carrie001]

Welcome Chelsea! I share a lot of those feelings. You may want to check out the Non-binary forum. You might fall into the genderfluid universe.

[SarahSerene]

Just to followup on my previous post - as you might have noticed Chelsea you'll also find friendship and occasional light-hearted banter here as well!

[Kaze_]

A thought lingering in the back of my mind & a thread to post it in.

What luck.

My theory:

Men are wired to desire femininity. The normal way to acquire the femininity is through a female partner.

A number of CDers for whatever reason or cross-wire acquire their fix of femininity by a desire to express it themselves.

You're not TG, its a sexual kink. Have fun but don't go overboard.

[Teresa]

Kaze,
I know some are going to comment but it may be AGP you're referring to, I still feel it's part of my make up, it is cross wiring if you choose to call it that.Blanchard got so much wrong but the actual title does appear to fit me.

[lostinmyworldcd]

I have sat here and thought and thought what to say . I was just like u. At 48 i have tried to gather my thoughts as if i could go back in time and tell my 22 yo self , what to do. I have spent my life purging back and forth. I have told noone till this forum. I did get caught dressing at 22 by my wife's sister. SO I know several people knew. Never confronted about it . It was a thrill for me to dress and be pretty , which led to a sexual component. Someyimes i wish i had gone and tried the female life. I recently purged again. Burnt it all in a big fire. loss of someone to another family member ( taken on my porch ) has that effect sometimes. If i had gone female , i wouldn't have had children or other close relationships . DONT MAKE ANY HASTY DECISIONS.Take all the time u need , and just let life happen .