I'm having a rough day, it started last night between my wife and I. I know the journey isn't going to be smooth.
I put together a Facebook page for Joan, well it got the wrong attention from some people that we know and they came after my wife. I took the Facebook page down thing is the damage is done. So I've learned a big lesson about main stream social media, it's not all roses. I've been burned before, but this time it's a big reminder that I've got to be careful. So even if I want Joan to have everything John has, it can't be that way out of the gate. When will I learn.
So my wife slept on the couch last night. That was after she went upstairs mad at me and said so. I fell asleep on the couch, woke up around midnight turned all the lights off, and went to bed. I guess she is still mad at me, cause I woke up to her on the couch this morning. Then she went back to bed once I kissed her to say it was morning. She mumbled a bunch of questions at me I did my best to answer them because I realized a long time ago that I'm talking with her subconscious. But one thing that cut deep was that she said "sometimes I wish I was dead." Now was this because of my wanting to be Joan, or was that the depression talking like in the past I don't know.
And now today is my first day going to see a new therapist. My brain is saying I should be happy, but my feelings are blah right now. I'm going through the motions this morning.
*sigh*