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Thread: The grass is always greener

  1. #1
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    The grass is always greener

    I was in a bar this week waiting for a friend and overheard an interesting conversation. A group was in the booth behind me, 2 men and 2 women, maybe 22-23 years old. I don't know how the conversation started but they were debating who's clothing was worse, men's or women's. I was hoping it was going to be about fashion freedom but it wasn't

    The guys were complaining about wearing suits and ties especially in the summer and the women were complaining about high heels. They went back and forth about this until one of the women said "you haven't know discomfort until you've worn an underwire bra all day". The guys didn't debate this, they all talked a little about what it's like to wear a bra and then they moved on.

    I wanted to jump in and tell them that the bra I was wearing was comfortable

  2. #2
    Jessie for short Wyomingal1's Avatar
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    That's funny. My ex-wife would say the same thing about her bras. Then she went to Victoria Secrets and got measured for the correct bra size and after that she was able to get the right size and loved her bras after that. The SA told her that most women don't actually have the correct sized bra so they don't like them.
    Hugs and kisses Jessie

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Most women wear the wrong bra size. My wife was one of them until I stepped in and helped her. She hasn't complained about her bras since.

  4. #4
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    Over and over shows tell women that they need to have bra fittings. Yet they never do.

  5. #5
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    I must agree, Ever since I had a bra fitting, my bra's fit and feel much better.
    Rader

  6. #6
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeanine38 View Post
    I wanted to jump in and tell them that the bra I was wearing was comfortable
    Ah, yes, but 1. was it an underwire style, 2. did you have it on for >12 hours, 3. Do you have large D cup breasts, 4. do you wear it every day for that long?
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  7. #7
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Ah, yes, but 1. was it an underwire style, 2. did you have it on for >12 hours, 3. Do you have large D cup breasts, 4. do you wear it every day for that long?
    ^^^ What she said.

    As the expression goes, it's all good fun until someone gets hurt. In our world, the male bravado suggests all kinds of female trappings are the epitome of comfort as in what's up with women who dare to complain??? Thing is, a good fitting bra gets old after 12 hours (or 8, or less). Why do you think there is often an unconscious sigh of relief when a woman takes hers off?
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  8. #8
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    My (supportive, wonderful) wife and I recently went to dinner with some friends. I overheard the wife's complaining about the cold weather and how they may have to go back to tights or hose to stay warm. I wonder what my friends wife's would think if they knew of the Hanes Silk Reflections, panties, underwire bra and camisole I was enjoying. My wife caught my eye and we winked at each other. She's a former model but hates underwires, hose, heels, shapers, etc. All my favorites.

  9. #9
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    Jeanine,
    I think you'll find most women of that age assume they are wearing the right bra, very few do bother about being correctly sizes until they get older and need more support.

    I also think the same applies to getting their makeup checked for the correct shade. Many girls start as we do by using their mother's so they continue even choosing the same shade even though it may be wrong . I guess to a point it also applies to clothes, women swap around far more than men, my wife and daughter and my sister in law have often passed certain items around for a one off event when they have nothing to wear .

  10. #10
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    I think your title says it all, but someone recently told me the grass is always browner! I think we always think it is better being the "other " thing...that said I am a crossdresser so who am I to talk lol
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  11. #11
    Reality Check
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    If I were a woman and my bra was uncomfortable, I would do something other than complain about it. Yes, it's probably not the right size or style for her.

  12. #12
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Agree, most women do wear the wrong size bra. My wife complained about her bra recently. I saw an ad in the paper that Nordstrom was offering a free bra fitting plus 1/2 off any bra. At first, she showed some reluctance, but did go she bought three new bras, but still...no underwires. When she got home, I asked her to show me what they did. I only wear underwires and had a wonderful time readjusting all my bras. She reminded me how important it was to lean forward and "scoop", even after putting my forms in. I swear they feel so much better...for both of us.

  13. #13
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    Discomfort is not limited to bras. My wife still gives me the nasty eye when she recalls waiting in the freezing cold on the elevated platform on the #7 Flushing line. That was still the time when women were required to wear dresses or skirts to the office. My wife use to strip her bra off immediately after coming home after wearing a bra for ten hours. She will not wear an underwire bra.

  14. #14
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    A good bra fitting does wonders I had mine at VS I love under wire bras

  15. #15
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy Irving View Post
    Most women wear the wrong bra size. My wife was one of them until I stepped in and helped her. She hasn't complained about her bras since.
    Ya know, I had to go back to this. The quote that has been out there for years now is something like "(insert high percentage here) of women are wearing the wrong size bra and don't even know it". Who says? Ahhhh, the bra industry. Let them measure you up and what generally happens? The door is opened wide to sell a bunch of new bras to the poor woman who was so stupid to be wearing the wrong size bra all these years. Never mind that she was comfortable enough before. They will find a reason to sell her a new bra...or five!!!

    And men latch onto this myth. Really? Women are not stupid and generally won't put up with something that isn't comfortable enough. Bras vary in sizing more than shoes with all of the styles (push-up, full coverage, demi, balconette , contour, t-shirt, etc) and the subtle variations in cup sizes in relation to the band. Any shrewd SA can approach the measurement by asking what size do you normally wear and easily come up with another style/manufacturer in a different size to "prove" her point, that this woman was wearing the wrong size bra. I just peeked in my wife's drawer and yep, found four different styles, three in the same size and one which one might say is a wildly different size (both band and cup).

    While I'm on the wrong end of this whole thing from an experience point of view but I dare to say that women select a bra on comfort first and then look. Some women who see a bra as being entirely utilitarian might only look at the former while a fashionista might focus more on the latter but when all is said and done, I'll rank that ill-fitting bra contention right up there with the DeBeers propaganda about having to spend two months salary on an engagement ring along with all of the Hallmark holidays which have been conjured up.

    Fact of the matter, it probably wouldn't hurt any woman to be measured when buying a bra in a full service store such as VS, Nordstrom, etc. Changes in the body due to aging, weight fluctuations, etc. might make this a prudent decision. Most don't and this is where comfort comes in. If she chooses a bra off the rack and it is comfortable enough and she likes how it makes her look well enough, then who is to say she is wearing the wrong size?

    Oh yeah, the SA who is measuring her!!!

    </end-rant>
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  16. #16
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I love wearing a bra, but we went out for the day a while ago and I couldn't wait to come home a take it off.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeanine38 View Post
    The guys were complaining about wearing suits and ties especially in the summer and the women were complaining about high heels.
    Sorry if this diverts slightly, but have to agree about the suits and the high heels too, although I loooooove wearing high heels after 4 or 5 hours my feet are in agony, of course its worth the pain, just sayin.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  18. #18
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    I love wearing a bra! My only complaint is that when it is warm and I'm wearing breastforms there can be some 'moisture' behind the forms that is uncomfortable. .

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