My last post was regarding the death of my sex life with my wife and how it seemed pretty generally timed with my "new interest." She has repeatedly assured me that it has nothing to do with it. That she is just depressed and that it is clearly impacting our son and I. But she keeps going back to we aren't having sex but I am supportive of your dressing so that should be enough (not exactly her words but how it comes across).
Dressing is something that I honestly am more than little uneasy about and still working on accepting me. So honestly I have stopped, grown a beard and stopped shaving everywhere...Haven't put on a pair of panties since the end of October let alone played with my makeup. I really feel like I am spiraling down. Work right now is incredibly stressful and my usual outlet is to spend sometime dressed up, it amazes me how calming it is. But I don't have it now and I am just wound up and totally stressed out.
I told her yesterday that I think it is time to donate everything. She said it was my decision and again that our situation was totally unrelated to the dressing just that she was stressed from her new job. She couldn't understand my stopping as it really seemed to help me with stress. Then this morning I was working from home and she had the day off so after she drove my son to school she called and suggested that I get dressed and spend the day that way. I told her I wasn't doing that anymore and her response was she didn't understand why but why didn't I have a farewell day. I declined.
This afternoon she called me over to show me a makeup vanity (before all the drama we talked about getting one for our bathroom, but I am the one that is supper into makeup). I just didn't know what to say, first it wasn't kind of bland and no where near feminine enough but then why keep looking when I am trying to stop?!? I know with not dressing maybe I don't belong here right now but I am just so confused. I have no idea where to go from here.