I've been struck 5 times then, and am friends with people who've been struck at least once. Since I know some of the women who actually like CDs, I feel pretty confident that this isn't freak coincidence - because I know exactly how and why I met these people. Sure, if you passively wait for it to happen for you, odds are, it won't. But that's the first fallacy - YOU have to be involved in the process. If you just live your life waiting, then you'll spend it waiting alone, odds are,Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV
The biggest issue most CDs are going to have compared to the trans people I know, is that you aren't out, and many of you will start relationships (and I'm not judging you here, I know how hard this is), without being honest about who you really are. I understand that there is an element of self-defense, survival, and frankly desperation in all of that. I've been there, done that, and have the children and ex-wives to show for it. I get that. Believe me.
What I've learned though is that if you want to have better than a lottery-winner type chance of happiness in a relationship, you have to do things to make this happen. This starts with being open about who you are, at least in a limited way. The CDs I know who have met women who like them go out to events where meeting such women are possible. They don't simply stay home. They may not be out to everyone, or even most of the people in their lives. But they are out to SOMEONE, and they go out and do stuff. Some of the events where they've had luck are frankly fetish related sex parties. Despite that, sometimes genuine long lasting relationships form. Others may be involved in the community, or may simply go to church or some other function en femme. I assert that their odds of meeting someone are WAY higher than someone who simply lurks at home, never venturing out.
It isn't just having more opportunities, though - it's about being more real and honest about yourself. Look, people can tell when you aren't authentic. They may not understand why, they may deny it, and some of us are better at hiding it than others, but it's off-putting. Authenticity is a big deal.
If you want to tell yourselves "it'll never happen for me, Paula (and all the friends she's mentioned) are just flukes", then fine, tell yourself that. But I guarantee you that it's liable to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And even if you are right, Vickie, and I am simply a super-lotto winner who's too dumb to know it, I do know this - the odds of winning the lotto are low. But they are ZERO if you never even buy a ticket.
