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Thread: do go out alone or with someone

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
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    do go out alone or with someone

    I was reading another threat and a comment was made about her next step was to go out alone. Do you prefer to go out with or without a wing person? For me I like going solo. I do tend to like to do most stuff alone. Someday a may go out with someone, but for now I am good by myself. My random thought for the day.
    Sara

  2. #2
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    I would prefer to go out with my wife but so far, she's not ready for this. I think two women out together looks more common than a single woman, especially after dark.

  3. #3
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    I go out a lot alone .. Been out with Outher cd's or t-girls and a lot of times add some drinks and the side show starts ...,girlfriends Wendy is not a side show ... So I go by myself

  4. #4
    Member April Showers's Avatar
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    Sara, I believe that was my post you are referring to where Teresa asked if I would have done it alone. As this is really the first couple of times I have been out I don't know if I would have been ready to step out on my own but even if I could have I would much prefer to go out with my wife by my side I love that she is willing to let me leave the house dressed and meet other girls in a socclal environment. I think it would be selfish on my part to exclude her from being there. So many of us have spouses that do not want to see or be a part of our feminine side l just feel blessed that I have a wife who loves me enough to let me be me.
    "The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed."- Einstein

  5. #5
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I have only been out alone and have very much enjoyed myself. I'm not sure I would like going with someone else unless it were with my wife and I'm pretty sure that will never happen, so solo it is for me.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    I usually go out alone. It's easier to mix with the general public. If you can go out with an accepting SO you have to go where no one knows you as a couple since she could be the one that gives you away if you run into someone that knows you as a couple. Going solo is easier. Once I ended up standing next to my female boss at a jewelry counter at a mall. She looked up for a moment and than went back to her shopping. I'm not going to say that I almost wet myself but years of doing this and controlling "the deer in the headlights" look saved me. My look is pretty mainstream and it's not like she was looking for me dressed as a woman. Just look at the Boy Mode vs. Girl Mode Pics pics at the top of the Picture and video Forum. Sometimes it is hard to see that it is the same person even in side by side photos. Just pic what makes you comfortable and have a good time.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancySue View Post
    We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.
    That's pretty close to my situation as well. I don't think people would recognize me but they certainly recognize my wife and would recognize me by association. I think the solution is to travel to another town or better yet, city far enough away that neither of you is likely to be recognized and do your "going out" there.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Never been out shopping etc with someone else but have met up with other CD'ers for a social event. I certainly would like to have the opportunity to say go out for a meal with other CD'ers. I have asked myself would I go out on a date with a male who was in drab on the understanding it was a totally platonic relationship, a few drinks, a nice meal and it's good night from me. Of course I'd pay my share. What sort of good time gurl do you take me for?????
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  10. #10
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    Sara,
    Going out dressed to me means meeting others socially, I go out alone to shop but only in drab and I now prefer that. I have a lot of fun with SAs and would probably lose that if I was with my wife or another person.

    April,
    It must be nice to have that choice, but sadly I don't. A GG asked me if my wife would ever accompany me to my meetings , I had this conversation with my wife and she replied she would be too outspoken. I do feel guilty about the Xmas party on Saturday because a dinner dance is something you should be taking your wife/ partner to. I'm not sure how she feels about me dressing to meet others for a meal and then possibly dancing especially when the venue is being shared with other parties. I'm also stopping over and dressing for breakafast, she just made the comment of how I had the courage.
    Last edited by Teresa; 12-06-2016 at 10:23 AM.

  11. #11
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    Alone, but I prefer to do almost everything alone whether en femme or in drab.

  12. #12
    Member April Showers's Avatar
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    Krisi
    I don't really think there is a town far enough away for my wife not to bump into someone she knows. I've always said if she landed on the moon she would bump into someone who knew her . It has happened at Disneyland in Florida on a new year's Eve. It's happened at a sold our concert in Buffalo and those two examples are in a different country so it probably will happen sooner or later and I know I'm going to collapse in laughter.
    "The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed."- Einstein

  13. #13
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    I have done it both ways. I probably have been out alone a hundred times, maybe two, in the last 45 years. However, last week I had the opportunity to spend three days with my BFF from the forum and it was the most enjoyable time I have ever had. We went dozens of places in those three days, shopping, dining, drinks, etc. It is so nice to share life with a friend.
    Jeri

  14. #14
    Pooh Bear Judith96a's Avatar
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    I've only ever gone out on my own. Yes I've occasionally met up with someone else at the venue but generally I fly solo. To a degree that suits my personality. I've always been something of a loner. But it's lonely too and I'd love to have a wing-girl (anatomical details are irrelevant)!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Sara,
    Going out dressed to me means meeting others socially, I go out alone to shop but only in drab and I now prefer that. I have a lot of fun with SAs and would probably lose that if I was with my wife or another person.
    Teresa,
    I tend to be a loner by nature. Even in drab I almost never socialize. I love my wife and love being with her, but given a choice I generally prefer my solitude. Being part this forum is out my norm. Granted is has some anonymity but I never have been one to share. Not there is any wrong way, this is just my way.
    When I saw April's post I made me wonder about people comfort level & the level of support they have or need.
    BTW my wife is supportive to a point. She has allowed my to go out and we can talk about dressing but she does not want to see me dressed.
    By all means get out and enjoy, life is to short.
    Sara

  16. #16
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    When I have the burning desire to go out en femme I go out alone. People seem to congregate together when they have something in common. It may be a developed friendship or an interest in a hobby for example. I like interacting with people who build military models and go to shows. I would never attend a military modeling show en femme. It's not a case of hiding or suppressing a need. It's the need is not there.

  17. #17
    Junior Member DarthDaddicus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancySue View Post
    We live in a small community in which we are both very active in both our jobs, church, and as volunteers for a couple of not for profits. We've discussed going out together but we both feel that if someone saw her with me dressed, we'd have an awkward situation. Therefore, I mostly go out by myself. She's totally supportive except she has a fear of our secret being exposed. At this point, we feel the consequences are not worth the risk. I respect her thoughts. Happy wife, happy CDer.
    This is our situation as well. My wife is quite impatient about wanting to go to a larger town and making a night of it, though. We both went out together the other night, but I stayed in the car.

  18. #18
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I usually go alone unless my GF wants to come with me. I Have a good time either way.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  19. #19
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    And I thought I was the only one.

    I go out only once or twice a year and I always do it solo. At this point she prefers it that way and I do too. We went out together once a few years back to a venue an hour away and there was always the fear that I would be outed by being seen with her (as many stated above). Constantly "looking over our shoulder" made the whole evening uncomfortable for both of us.

  20. #20
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by April Showers View Post
    Krisi
    I don't really think there is a town far enough away for my wife not to bump into someone she knows. I've always said if she landed on the moon she would bump into someone who knew her . It has happened at Disneyland in Florida on a new year's Eve. It's happened at a sold our concert in Buffalo and those two examples are in a different country so it probably will happen sooner or later and I know I'm going to collapse in laughter.
    You're absolutely right, it's a small world. As a guy I've been astonished more than once bumping into someone from home in the least likely places. When I'm traveling as Sherri I tend to lower my guard and venture into the mainstream more than I can here, but I know the risk can never be entirely eliminated, a fact that was once driven home when I spotted a hometown acquaintance on the other side of a makeup counter in a big city mall 5 hours from home. It's also why I've never flown pretty, something I dearly want to do, cuz even if I could escape detection at the local airport, most flights from here stop off at the Dallas airport and it's not at all unusual to see people I know there. I also know from experience you can't count on not being recognized -- sometimes they do, sometimes they don't and I've been surprised both ways.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Cheryl James's Avatar
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    In answer to the question, I go out alone. This is not, necessarily, by choice. I do not mind going out alone, but, if I had a shopping buddy, that would be great. Also, it would make picture taking while out much easier. It would, probably, be fun, too. I have attended support group meetings and CD/Transgender Meet-Ups where I have met others, however, I've always gone to these alone.

  22. #22
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    It really depends on where I am going and what I am doing. If I am going shopping, running errands, or just casually wandering around the thrift shops ( i love thrifting ), i will go by myself.

    Bars, and clubs though, I wont go alone for obvious reasons.

    I did once, but it was a hotel bar in the hotel I was staying at, seems a place like this was safe to go alone, I knew most of the staff, and the only other people at the bar were other guests on business and they too were alone, so conversation was pretty easy and it was harmless.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    Different days different times. My wife loves helping me as I also enjoy helping her when we go out together. I love going out with my wife as Joyce and I don't worry too much about running into anyone that might know me. She is pretty observant and has my back too. I have little desire to escape into the world by myself at this time. In years past though it was the only way I could express that part of me......out alone.

    Although I may be nearing an outing by myself if I don't get out soon! SO much is going on in our lives and now we have permanent house guests ...i.e. kids moved back home...so we usually attend a monthly meeting and use business outing as a reason for staying away for two nights but we haven't been able to do that for three months now!! I'm starting to get unexpected fem moments daily! Hoping no one notices!! lol
    Last edited by Joyce Swindell; 12-06-2016 at 01:15 PM.

  24. #24
    Junior Member Kathie Pantyhose's Avatar
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    I would LOVE to have the courage to go out but I don't have any confidence above the neck. I'd love to have a local gathering at a safe place where we could all meet and just talk and be ourselves with like minded girls. Just the ability to talk and share stories with another outside of email and forum posts would be great.
    bi for now

    Kathie Pantyhose
    Any day in pantyhose is a great day

  25. #25
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    For newbies, I strongly recommend having an experienced partner when going out those first few times. Beyond that depends on the planned activity, one's own personal confidence and the availability of a desired partner, logistics. I have tried shopping with others, but I have my pace, desires and needs when shopping and it seems whoever I am with has theirs, which are different from mine. So, for me it is shopping alone. Up until a couple of years ago, I would generally only go out when I could meet up with friends. Today, I actually enjoy those solo flights for the start of the evening and then meet up with friends later.

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