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Thread: Facial hair - curious

  1. #1
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Facial hair - curious

    This question is directed at those of you who have facial hair and dress. I think each of us should be free to do what they want without being judged. But I am very intrigued by people who crossdress but yet have beards and or mustaches. Having facial hair is a conscious choice that men make and is a very strong signal of manhood. So I am very interested in why you chose do have facial hair but yet like to dress like a woman.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

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    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I decided to get rid of my stach when i decided to grow my hair out

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    Aspiring Member Fiona123's Avatar
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    I'm pretty closeted. I only dress in private & have a goatee. I hate that It ruins the look.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Fiona, if it ruins your look why wouldn't you shave it off?
    Last edited by Lorileah; 12-14-2016 at 04:10 PM. Reason: no need tro quote post above yours
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

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    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Great initial question. I can grow a full beard and mustache in 2 weeks, and have a shag carpet on my chest, legs, arms. I shave my face and only wear clothes that hide all the rest. When I dress I want to look like a woman. That is just my preference.

    I have thought about permanent hair removal from my face, and maybe even growing out my hair. In the end, in my case, I am a man, that wants to remain a man, that wants to look like and feel like a woman sometimes.

    This forum/community is really helping me sort out my CD self, and plan a way forward.

  6. #6
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    First off, I HATE to shave! I don't let it grow beyond 1/4" max. and then knock it down to stubble. Rarely smooth. I'm not out except to my wife who only tolerates and I don't go out. (not because I don't WANT to! ) So I only dress occasionally around her with no make-up as she has asked that I don't. Therefore, why shave for no reason? Under the circumstances, I'm ok with looking decent from the neck down.

  7. #7
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    When I did have facial hair it was because my SO liked it. Maybe it was also to appear masculine out of fear of being outed? Now days shaving is a daily routine as I don't want even a stuble.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  8. #8
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I don't see facial hair as a very strong signal of manhood, a man can certainly be a man and "all man" and still shave and look neat and clean. I often wonder why some older men wear a beard, it just makes them look even older.

    I too wonder why someone would dress as a woman but not shave. Especially those who go out in public wearing women's clothes.

  9. #9
    New Member Nora_H's Avatar
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    I can't grow a beard at all. But i do shave my peach-fuzz every week.
    If i could grow one, however, i wouldn't if i'm going to get dressed. Not a fan of that look tbh
    Why grow a beard if i want to look like a woman?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    When I wake up in the morning I get dressed. If I put on womens clothing I get cross dressed. The tactile sensation received from wearing a dress is quite strong. The look is also pretty and feminine.

    I know some women who vary the amount of makeup they apply. If they apply none, are they cross makeuping (I made up that word)? No, that was a joke. Makeup has more to do with the look or trying to pass than the feeling you get from it sticking to your skin. But, when you look into a mirror or know you are hiding your appearance from others, the feeling in your brain can be quite strong.

    There may be some here who think a man without a daily shave and makeup is disgusting. And if you are trying to look like a woman to others those should probably be done. But, if you are putting on a dress at home and want to skip the makeup, you are doing a disservice to nobody. You aren't hurting their "cause". If you like your facial hair then by all means keep it.

    I just want everyone to be happy.

  11. #11
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    Becky, yes I supose it is puzzeling to many , but have you ever thaught that some of us are in a position where being outed could bring our world crashing down around us and leave us in an impossible place . Some of us are not able to "make a new start" so we have to make the most of what we got. And then again some are just hiding behind thier facial hair because it s safer that way! Many would love to be able to go out and mix , even with other CDrs but its never going to happen. We are all different, even though joined by a common bond, some are free many would dearly love to be free but each of us does what we can, when we can.

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    I get lots of compliments on my beard (including one from a 60s rock star, Chad Stuart of Chad & Jeremy) so I am reluctant to part with it. I have been thankfully endowed with great hair and legs, a pretty face, beautiful hands, small feet so other than the beard I register as female.

  13. #13
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heather Chasen View Post
    Becky, yes I supose it is puzzeling to many , but have you ever thaught that some of us are in a position where being outed could bring our world crashing down around us and leave us in an impossible place . Some of us are not able to "make a new start" so we have to make the most of what we got. And then again some are just hiding behind thier facial hair because it s safer that way! Many would love to be able to go out and mix , even with other CDrs but its never going to happen. We are all different, even though joined by a common bond, some are free many would dearly love to be free but each of us does what we can, when we can.
    Are you saying that shaving your face would out you as a crossdresser? Are there no men in your part of the world who are clean shaven?

    I agree with your statement about being outed causing problems but I can't see how shaving your face every day could possibly out you.

  14. #14
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    I have a mustache and goatee because my wife likes it. I haven't worn a dress in a long time. I wear bras, panties, women's t-shirts, tanks, leggings, fem jeans, short shorts in the summer. I dress for comfort. I have women's jackets and hoodies. My winter coat comes from the women's department. I have a unisex bag that I carry. I've never done makeup or wigs. I dress for myslf and no one else.

  15. #15
    New Member DrFabulous0's Avatar
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    Facial hair isn't a 'concious choice' it's the default, it's shaving which takes a concious effort. I always shave all over if I am gonna dress but otherwise I leave the face, it takes around ten days for a full beard to grow in. Beards coming and going seems pretty normal in my circles and never gets questioned.

  16. #16
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    Heather,
    Be patient I've only just managed to shave my body in the last year or two , OK my face is always clean shaven .

    I did it in stages my wife made some comments but didn't stop me. It does give you far more confidence when you finally get out the door to know you won't have male hair showing no matter what you wear.

    As for Becky's question, I would never have facial hair with crossdressing, to me it's a contradiction !

  17. #17
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    I have worn a beard for over 40 years, since I was 19 years old. When I dress and look in the mirror, I see me. I'm not trying to see an idealized woman or a particular female of note. Of course I would love to go out dressed every day, looking to match my sense of gender. But at least for now, I don't feel the trade off would make me feel any better. Sure, it might be possible to blend perhaps, but who would that be in the mirror? I think the connection might be lost to me, and I don't know if that would be better. And for sure, my wife likes the beard. She has never seen me without it, and I can dress at home however I wish. I don't deny that my appearance in a dress would be jarring to any casual observer, so my gender dressing is very limiting, but not impossible.

  18. #18
    Member Mark B's Avatar
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    Becky, I have to agree with Tracy. I consider myself a man who dresses in women's clothes. However, I do not have a beard and I shave my head. I don't feel the need to give the appearance that I am a women. So, when I do venture out I will not wear a wig, maybe just a small amount of makeup, and some ear rings (non pierced) at the request of my wife. She is driving me to be more feminine when CD'ing. I don't think I could fool anyone anyway with my deep voice. I am a Crossdresser which to me means that I wear women's clothes. If I choose to do/be more, wig, clean shaven face, full blown makeup, then I would consider myself something more than a Crossdresser.
    I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I always shave when going out, if I miss a day it is because I am inside and around the house.

    I just don't look in the mirror.

    EVER tried to apply makeup without shaving!!!!! :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  20. #20
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    My facial hair (goatee most of the time) stays very far from my cross-dressing!
    Now, if I'm just hanging around the apartment in heels and/or a skirt my facial hair does not matter.

    I only get clean shaven for the following reasons:
    -Going to get completely dolled up, regardless of just staying in or going out.
    -Formal events, such as a job interview or a role in theatre.
    -UTA (Unit Training Assembly) weekend for the Reserves (we can have a mustache only when in uniform, but I always go clean shaven).

    For me it is very easy since, as already mentioned, my facial hair and cross-dressing just stay very far apart.




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  21. #21
    Member immindy's Avatar
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    It seems it really depends on why one cross-dresses . If you just want to feel feminine then maybe having facial hair doesn't matter a whole lot. As I read this forum it seems there are many different reasons why one may desire to wear woman's clothing. Myself ? I dress to be the woman I feel I am so yes from my perspective having facial hair would seem strange since with it I am not going to look like a woman. I do not present as a woman all the time, so when in guy mode , I let it grow out a bit to give my face a break . Hormones has slowed down my beard growth , fortunately , so I can go two days between shaves now with no shadow showing through my makeup.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Some interesting responses indeed... I too hated shaving my face ever since I was 19... finally some 3 years ago I was able to get Laser hair removal, which I am ecstatic about. My only regret was waiting until I had too many grey hairs. But even with that the Laser removed all dark hairs, leaving me with much less and much slower growing grey hairs. Now I have to shave only every 2 to 3 days, have no shadow and when I shave it takes under 60 seconds and I am left with a beautiful smooth skin.

    For me when i dress I not only want to look as much like a woman as possible, but I want to feel that way too, so the idea of having a prickly face just doesn't do it for me.

    A few comments or questions from above

    Kristi - I feel that facial hair is a signal of being a male because females can't have facial hair. I am not suggesting a smoothly shaved male lacks any signs of manhood.

    Tracy - No one is saying you should shave, as I said on the OP everyone should be free to do what they want, i am trying to understand why a CD/T person makes an active choice to grow a beard or moustache.

    Heather - I can't see how being smooth shaved is risking being outed, in my place of work there are 5 males all clean shaven, as far as I know I am the only one who has ever dressed as a woman.

    Rockerreds - lovely to hear that you have a great beard, but I don't understand the logic of having it but yet registering as female.

    DrFab - any guy with facial hair will tell you that grooming takes longer than shaving, even to cultivate a good unshaven look. My Op was talking about dressing with facial hair, which you too do not do.

    Sarahlee, I fond your response particularly interesting, so your saying that your beard is a much part of who you are than my upper lip may be to me - fascinating and makes a lot of sense.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  23. #23
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    I dress to please myself. I have a nice full and long goatee that is about 6 inches long. I am not concerned about how that looks with my skimpy tops or mini skirts, hose and heels. I am not going out, nor do I care about going out. I do what I do in the privacy of my own home, so I don't give a good rats ass about what others think. I love to do what I do, and the rest of the world can kiss my rebel dick. That being said, I am not going out parading down main street wearing my chosen attire shouting out my defiance.

  24. #24
    New Member pinkcapri's Avatar
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    I wear a moustache and my wife does not want me to shave it off, neither do I, as I consider that as a sign of masculinity in my male attire. I go out dressed (and I want to look as much feminine on women's active wear) only when I run in the morning and it becomes particularly challenging with the moustache and hence I run when it is dark in the morning, less people around and less chance of getting a strange look. But for that I compromise on few other things, to get some decent amount of sleep I go to bed early and wake up at 4.30 in the morning, no I do not like to wake up at 4.30 in the morning, like to sleep more, but that is the compromise with the added excitement of going out dressed and the motivation to run.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Are you saying that shaving your face would out you as a crossdresser? Are there no men in your part of the world who are clean shaven?

    I agree with your statement about being outed causing problems but I can't see how shaving your face every day could possibly out you.
    You obviously have never sported facial hair for any length of time. People ALWAYS notice no matter if it's just a stubbly goatee or a full on ZZ Top, and the first words out of their mouth is ALWAYS "Why did you shave?" And if you have a significant other it's even harder to deflect.

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