Judy,
Ouch! I'm sorry to hear about your trouble. I'm not in a position to give much advice. I suspect that if I got caught I'd panic. My head says that's exactly the wrong thing to do but I know that's easier said than done! What I will say is that if you're going to do anything that could possibly be construed as provocative, eg retain a lawyer, then do so very discreetly. While you do have to be prudent, in case she goes headlong for the nuclear option, don't assume (or appear to assume) that it's inevitable or it could become self-fulfilling prophecy!
Read Sherrie's advice, re keeping calm and addressing concerns, over and over again. It's good advice. Remember that your wife is, to some degree, in shock.
And remember, we're here for you.
Hope it works out.
Last thought, others have said that it's probably too soon to be showing her photos and they may well be correct - unless of course she actually wants to see. It might just be worth asking her.