Yesterday I went to Kohls (in drab) and picked out a long black dress, lingerie and 3" pointy black pumps. At the checkout, the SA gave me a cheeky smile and said "someone is going to be very glamorous in this outfit". I couldn't help turning bright red, but after I got in my car I realized that I loved that moment. Does anyone else enjoy being 'caught' ?
Yep, SAs know. I used to buy things 'for my wife' until recently, and I was asked many times if what I was buying was for me. I wouldn't say I enjoyed being asked, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Just noticed it's your first post, good one!!
Last edited by DIANEF; 12-17-2016 at 11:16 AM.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
I'm so bad.
It's getting so that I live for those moments. Don't know why.
There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.
I make a point, depending on the situation, of telling them it's for myself. Most are happy to help. Julie
My reply to any searching quote like you experienced is...."I certainly hope so" :-)
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Of course they know, that is, unless it is their first day or they have their head in the sand. I worked retail for New York & Co. You can make up any story you want, but your body language tells the truth.
Just be up front and honest. I've shopped openly as a male for 15 years. I can count 2 times that an SA was uneasy and that was about 15 years ago. A good SA will jump right in to help you.
Several years ago when an SA was helping me, she said that she enjoyed it because it was like dressing Barbie. I stated to her--"in this case it's like dressing Ken". we both got a laugh out of it.
jodi
More like Kendra.
I had an SA ask if the panties I was buying were for me I look at her and say you don't think they would look good on me she stopped cold look at me and cracked up said she had never gotten that reply before
hugs
Ronda
I enjoy dialogue with SA's, but it's been my experience that when we are "en drab" they only know what we volunteer or allow them to know. I've bought women's wear (everything from stockings and lingerie, to outdoor wear) since I was a teenager. Bought them both for myself, and for various women in my life. The vast majority of times the SA "assumed" I was purchasing for a woman, whether I was or not. At times the SA would joke or say something to tease or suggest they thought I was buying or looking for myself. Occasionally the SA would ask flat out if I was purchasing for myself or someone else.
Granted...we can give ourselves away in various ways, but confidence goes a long way.
I could be wrong, but I suspect there's a fair number of men who don't crossdress, but do buy clothes for women in their lives. Somehow I doubt they are as concerned about doing that as much as some of us are.
Karen
The SA today was Sooo helpful - she had on nice tights and a matching black dress she held my hand and led me over to some nice pantyhose she said these are very nice and feel good a little pricy but I think you will like them she smiled and gave my ha d a slight squeeze - I thanked her and said she looked nice and asked her what brand of tights she had on she smiled and brought me over to her brand and pointed out a pair in my size - it was soo nice told her I'd see her again and purchased my tights and Pantyhose - just got home and slipped into the pantyhose - such a nice experience so yes she knew I had bought from her before
I was looking for leggings at Kohl's yesterday hoping to take advantage of an additional 30% off. I found a pair I liked but the leg cut was "straight". I recruited the help of no less than three SA's in our quest for the right pair. We searched through the athletic section, Vera Wang near lingerie and the juniors area, finding nothing. They all assumed I was buying for a SO in my life. The SA's were not young women and it was a week before Christmas. So, there is the possibility that none of them knew what I was up to. I hope not...
Special times like Christmas and Valentine Day, is when most men buy their SOs gifts. I've done a lot of shopping over the last 50 years. Even back in the old days SAs knew. I worked for a store that carried upscale women's clothes. It didn't take long for a few of the SAs to figure out I was buying for myself. When something came up in my size that they thought I would look good in they would come by and say, I have something your sister would look good in. I also got coaching of what I should wear under and with it. We didn't sell lingerie, but a couple SAs shopped where I did. They asked, don't you like shopping there?
Now days I shop in guy mode. I may have on all women's clothes (don't wear dresses anymore). What is amazing is I've gone to buy something and said it was for me and the SA disregard it. With a bra on and projection I had an SA who kept telling me that "my wife" wouldn't want that style bra. Had a couple SAs ask if the two bras I was buying were for me? I said yes. One of them held the bras up and said, they will match your eyes. I guess she didn't notice my boobs or bra lines which were obvious.
Comments I've received: I don't think we have anything on sale in your size today. How did your slips fit? Everyone should enjoy beautiful lingerie. I've only had a few negative things said in all this time.
When I first started dressing, I would say that the clothes were for a girlfriend. Then one day I was shopping at Payless Shoe sources for some Ankle boots, and the SA quite rudely said, "I hope these aren't for you". I was angry enough at her comment, that I replied, of course they are, then immediately after I purchased them, I put them on, asked for the corporate number, and called them as I strutted out to my car in my brand new Ankle Boots.
I have never again had a situation like that, and have always been upfront about who I am buying for. I find that most SA's love to help me find things that look great.
A couple of years ago, I was the SA, at an adult toy store with lots of lingerie, and I often helped other gurls find what they were looking for. Some were shy, but I would often break the ice by saying that "if I were shopping for me, then this is what I would get" I got a lot of repeat customers by doing that.
Less worried about the SA knowing its for me than running into someone I know. In the past I've had SAs who were very helpful.
One SA I personally know happens to know. I wasn't too blatant, but she knew after a while and doesn't seem to care. She was still pretty helpful though, but I can't be bothered with what she actually thinks behind my back.
I've replied once to this thread already, but I want to be a bit more emphatic. I am convinced that the majority of dress shop sales staff actually LIKE crossdressers as customers. I say this because the ones I know are always happy to see me come in, and the ones who haven't met me before greet me with respect and act as though they deal with crossdresssers every day. No big deal. At my favorite store, they want hugs when I arrive and when I leave. They even tell of arguing amongst themselves about who gets to serve me, like "My turn!" "No, mine!"
Why is this? I never get the whole picture, but they tell me I'm a nice person. But it's more than that. When I enter a shop, I'm always in a cheerful mood, because hey, shopping is fun, right? I'm always game to try on whatever they show me, even if it isn't what I came in for, because you just never know when you have a non standard (for a woman) body shape. Frankly, I'll play dress up all day if they want. It's fun! For their part, I think it's not every day they see a man in a dress. Some SAs I know tell me they think of me when they see certain pieces in their incoming stock and wonder how it would look on me. Of course I'm happy to oblige. But another part seems to be that they get satisfaction from helping a tentative newcomer and helping them to become happy, confident and knowledgeable.
It's always a good way to find out of Sales Assistants actually listen to what you say:
When buying lipsticks, I tend to remark 'it's a pretty colour, isn't it. I think it'll suit me'
When buying clothes, and the Sales Assistant asks if I have got the correct size, I reply 'hope so - it's the same size that I usually wear'
Although I have a legal female name, I sometimes have to go to the chemist to pick up a prescription in male mode, and when the pharmacist says 'has she had these tablets before?' I answer 'yes, I have'!
People try to put us down
Just because we get around
Caitlyn,
SAs, don't mind having some fun, when they do the job day in day out something different or a pleasant interaction breaks the monotony of so many non interactive customers. I ran my own business for thirty years, being pleasant and having some fun does bring it's rewards. I guess it explains why I'm not too phased when shopping for my CDing needs.
The thing to do now is get dressed and made up take some pictures wearing the items and go show her them, she'll love it ! It will also help you become more comfortable with your dressing.
Last night I was in a Hallmark store and I was buying a Barbie makeup bag for my wife's Christmas stocking. The lady at the counter said "Oh, is this for you?" I replied "Well, I have to keep my makeup somewhere!" She had a good chuckle. Sometimes I think they are just trying to be funny, so why not give it back?
From my first time shopping for myself, I made no secret that it was for me. That didn't necessarily mean I told them outright, but if asked, I told the truth. Every SA I met never skipped a beat, they continued with their help and advice as though they see people like me every day.
They know it's for yourself, whether you tell them or not. And they really don't mind. It's just not as big a deal as you think it is. What gets their spidey-sense working is when you start acting like you're doing something wrong. If you're nervous, or evasive or avoiding them, are you looking like a shoplifter, or some creepy pervert or worse? If you own it and speak frankly with your SA, you are a CUSTOMER, and worth all of her respect and expertise, just like any woman shopping there. THAT'S when the real fun begins.
I love to flirt with sales assistants!
Basically they are women who love fashion, gossip, cosmetics, lingerie etc. They are normally very understanding and kind. I like to approach them with direct questions, like "these lovely stockings have lace tops, can I wear them with a garter belt?"
I have had a lot of detailed conversations about bra straps, chicken fillets, wearing heels etc., and they love it as much as I do!
I do agree most SAs don't really care as long as you are polite. I personally prefer shopping online as much easier and with amazon this becomes very easy as can even use amazon lockers to get it delivered.
I used the girlfriend excuse several times until I realized it made the whole thing a whole lot worse for me. I felt nervous not only because I was afraid of being read, but also because I was afraid that SAs might see through the lie and make fun of me.
I stopped "relying" on this tactic after an SA said that "she" could return it in 30 days if the size wasn't right without any previous hint as to who I was buying the item for. My experience is that almost everytime I'm shopping SAs either are quiet or just ask whether I would like to buy anything else for "her".
There were only two occasions that an SA could have been suspecting of anything. On one occasion I was buying heels in a size rather big for a woman's foot and when I was about to pay the SA looked me in the eyes and smiled curiously; on the other I couldn't decide what to buy so I was walking around the store aimlessly, when and a young woman that was promoting make-up services in the store approached me and asked whether I was buying for a girlfriend or..., leaving enough space to fill in as if giving me an opportunity to just say the dreaded sentence. Not surprisingly I chickened out...
Here's me hoping that next time the opportunity presents itself I will muster enough courage to own it like many of you.
Last edited by Lucy23; 12-17-2016 at 06:08 PM.
Occasionally, I do buy things while in male mode ( I prefer to shop for things as Mindy ). If the sales associates is not busy and is kinda chatty I take out a picture of me as Mindy and show them. It is all fun and really not an issue . Maybe it also can be a fun moment for there otherwise boring day .
I have fun with them when they do that because if they start the conversation its game on I will milk it for all its worth.
Sometimes you will get a "well the outfit is cute so please come back in wearing it so we can all see it" is one response I have gotten.
I did come back to that SA to show her and I made a very nice friend that day.
She calls or emails me at least once a month just to chat.
You get out what you put into it as far as having fun with it.
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