Sales Assistants know what you are up to

[ambigendrous]

I've never had a bad reception from an SA, but I had an interesting conversation with the owner of a nail salon where I was a regular customer. I had been going there for probably 5 years and we were talking about "regular" customers. She said that she actually preferred having male customers - she noted that her female customers tended to be fickle: if another shop had a sale, or dropped their prices even $1 then the ladies tended to leave to save a buck. On the other hand, the male customers tended to be more loyal - once they found a place they liked they were customers for life! I went to that salon for about 10 years, until I retired. Now I use a salon that is about a mile from my house rather than driving 20 miles to that old salon.

[DIANEF]

About an hour ago I bought myself some nice heeled boots at a local store. Was in drab and a male SA served me, all fine. Just as i was getting the receipt a young female SA said, 'you'll look good in those'. Surprised myself by instantly responding, 'yes, depends what I'm wearing them with'. She smiled at me, I smiled back and I left.

[Stephanie47]

Many years ago there was a woman's clothing store that was a small independent store that had a small sign at the door which said it welcomed cross dressers. Within the last five or so years there was actually a news piece on local television about a resale store that solicited cross dressers as customers.

I've related my shopping trip once or twice on this forum. I was looking for a particular full slips by Velrose. I love the lacy hems on Velrose slips. I stopped in at a Catherine's on Southcenter Blvd. You'd think an alien creature with a ray gun arrived to decimate the human population. I could see the racks with the slips from the window so I knew exactly where to go. I was attired in casual male clothing; slacks and a shirt with a collar and shined shoes. Face was cleanly shaven. The two middle age (40's to low 50's) women were jittery. I don't know if it was prior experiences or personal beliefs that made them so, but, my entire time there was less than cordial. Nothing rude was said, but, the body language and lack of assistance told it all. I knew my size. That's really easy with full slips. I did buy two slips; one black and one white.

As I have grown in my love for Velrose slips I decided to purchase some half slips with the same lacy hem as the full slip. Years later I shopped at the same store and the sales associates were different but not really very helpful. Again, they were middle age. The store did not have any in white. So I stopped on the way home at a Catherine's at the SeaTac Mall, now called The Commons, where a youthful woman was energetic and very helpful. I found out from her the slip had been discontinued and out of stock in white. She was willing to call the stores in Tacoma and Lakewood. I told her I lived near there and I would stop in on the way home, which I did. Again, the reception at each was enthusiastic.

My experiences have been for the most part very cordial. Once in a while you encounter some young girls who probably are new to the job and do not have much experience interacting with cross dressers. It seems most of the large retailers have training sessions that tell their employees how to interact with us. I think most know, especially if they are working for commissions, that loyalty is earned and then the bucks flow. As with any store, if you encounter a snitty person file a complaint.

[Bluesman]

I buy most of my clothes, both male and female, online now, but I do sometimes pick up some online orders at Nordstroms. The first comment I got from a SA was simply, "Oh, that's a cute skirt" but I definitely felt like she knew it was for me. I just grinned and said "Yes, I think so too." A couple of other times, picking up a dress or negligee (XL, I'm 6'4") the SA has asked if I'd like to try it on first. I haven't had the nerve to do that, but it did give me a little thrill. I kind of miss the titillation of these encounters. I'm totally in the closet except for my wife, so I kind of enjoy the idea that another woman knows what I'm "up to."

[Teri Ray]

I have purchase many items while drab. (most in fact) and I have often been asked "Are these for you?" My standard reply is to just smile and say "well you never know".

Never been hassled and more often than not been treated very nice.

[Lily Catherine]

One SA I personally know happens to know. I wasn't too blatant, but she knew after a while and doesn't seem to care. She was still pretty helpful though, but I can't be bothered with what she actually thinks behind my back.

[suzanne]

I've replied once to this thread already, but I want to be a bit more emphatic. I am convinced that the majority of dress shop sales staff actually LIKE crossdressers as customers. I say this because the ones I know are always happy to see me come in, and the ones who haven't met me before greet me with respect and act as though they deal with crossdresssers every day. No big deal. At my favorite store, they want hugs when I arrive and when I leave. They even tell of arguing amongst themselves about who gets to serve me, like "My turn!" "No, mine!"

Why is this? I never get the whole picture, but they tell me I'm a nice person. But it's more than that. When I enter a shop, I'm always in a cheerful mood, because hey, shopping is fun, right? I'm always game to try on whatever they show me, even if it isn't what I came in for, because you just never know when you have a non standard (for a woman) body shape. Frankly, I'll play dress up all day if they want. It's fun! For their part, I think it's not every day they see a man in a dress. Some SAs I know tell me they think of me when they see certain pieces in their incoming stock and wonder how it would look on me. Of course I'm happy to oblige. But another part seems to be that they get satisfaction from helping a tentative newcomer and helping them to become happy, confident and knowledgeable.

[susan jackson]

It's always a good way to find out of Sales Assistants actually listen to what you say:

When buying lipsticks, I tend to remark 'it's a pretty colour, isn't it. I think it'll suit me'
When buying clothes, and the Sales Assistant asks if I have got the correct size, I reply 'hope so - it's the same size that I usually wear'

Although I have a legal female name, I sometimes have to go to the chemist to pick up a prescription in male mode, and when the pharmacist says 'has she had these tablets before?' I answer 'yes, I have'!

[Abbey11]

I did a colour match at Urban Decay, I was in drab mode, they don't have a device to colour match they have to apply to your face there and then so while I was at it decided to show a couple of Abbey pics, we then had a great long discussion about how the SA has a couple of cd friends that she helps with makeup and style, was a very girly chat and a lovely experience she also invited over a couple of other SA's 1 female and 1 male.
Also while in Boots checking my colour match now that it's winter, 1 of the SA's gave me the biggest smile which kind of read ' I know what your upto' lol

The 1 main frustration I have with shopping in stores is that I do my research beforehand online of what I want and which stores have what, I'll then head to the stores to look at the dresses, skirts etc in person and I have to say, and this is no exaggeration, 80+% of the time they don't have what I'm looking for in store

[ellbee]

Earlier this month I began a new relationship with an "online SA" -- an eBay seller I first bought from, then continued our subsequent business via email.


She's been amazing, and I'm not shy about letting her know that fact. And obviously she knows the stuff is for me, as I simply straight out told her early on!

She's hunted down specific items for me (for cheaper than other sellers), taken photos & measurements, gives her opinion on stuff, recommends things, assists with what kind of outfit I could build with the piece, even taken photos of her modelling some things, ha! Really goes the extra mile.

She now has a great sense of things I'd like. Plus it helps that both our interests overlap (total leggings junkies, for example), as do our tastes. So, we do like to gab a lot.


Just today I received a package from her. Included was a Christmas card with a personalized hand-written note.


I have fun with it, just being open & honest. She gets a kick out of it all, and apparently looks forward to getting my emails, as do I, hers. I'd guess that she doesn't have this level of interaction with most of her customers -- if any others, for that matter.

And I don't share my whole life-story of CD'ing or anything. I try to keep on-topic, but sometimes "sneak" in some related things -- though only to give her a better understanding of where I'm coming from, which then helps her that much more in assisting me.


No, it's not my 1st time doing this with the whole "online SA" thing, either. And it's only been really positive experiences. Not only is it beneficial to both parties, but it's also a lot of fun, too. Just two "girls" who enjoy clothes, talking about clothes, and swapping something (money & clothing) that the other wants. Yeah, she's being nice because she wants my business, but it really does go deeper than that, as it does "come through" our conversations.

And admittedly, I do intentionally "girl it up" just a bit when chatting with them. I mean, how could one not? LOL. Nothing too obvious or obnoxious or over-the-top. But it's a perfect opportunity to do so. It's lots of fun, plus I think it helps put them at ease a bit more... Not that they necessarily need it, but they do open up that much more when it's almost like they're talking to another GG, despite the fact that in the back of their head the whole time, they do know it's a guy on the other end.


Yeah, GG SA's -- whether in-person or online -- are the bomb!

[AKADonna]

I'm happy now that the Christmas shopping season is basically over and the temps soon will be gone. The regular SA's at my favorite stores know me and carry on with me as one ot the girls, but with the temps there can be so much judgement, shock, surprise and embarrassment.

[Steph54]

In guy mode I've gone to stores offering bra fittings. That was fun and embarrassing.

As for clothes I like to shop at Ross dress for less. Search for 10 or 12 items then go to the fitting room. They have male and female areas with a common guardian checking your items. You are only allowed 6. I love it when they see dresses, skirts,tops and ask "you want to try these on". "Yes please" I reply. I Go into the men's area and try them all on. Most often keep 1 or 2 of the items. Give back the discards and the return with the next bunch to try on. Reactions have been extremely varied but have never been refused.

Again in guy mode, a long time ago back in the early 90's, was at a dress shop in an outlet mall. Picked out several dresses and asked the SA if it was ok to try them on. went into the changing room tried them all on and found 2 I liked. When I came out there was a security guard there wanting to know what I was doing and demanding to see my ID. I told him I was looking for a new dress and passed him my drivers license. I'd done nothing wrong so he let me go. I did not buy the dresses and I left. That experience has never happened since.

[ambigendrous]

...I Go into the men's area and try them all on. Most often keep 1 or 2 of the items. Give back the discards and the return with the next bunch to try on.

I have an "etiquette" question: when trying on clothes at a store, is it better to leave the items hanging in the changing room area, or return them to the racks where you found them? I usually return them to the racks but I don't know if that's correct...

[Tracy Irving]

Just outside the changing rooms but not in the store itself there should be racks to hang the items you do not intend to purchase. A store employee puts then back.

[LookingGlass]

Good ol' Kohl's! My first foray shopping in public was there and I got a young cashier who enthusiastically hoped I enjoyed the purchase knowing dang well I wasn't shopping for anyone else. Happening in front of other customers nearly made me turn white as a sheet. Almost never went back until I found something online that was in stores... now I race to rack up points for the Kohl's cash rewards and it has become the first place the bestie and I go for shopping.

[TheHiddenMe]

I've written before about the sales angels I've dealt with at Nordstrom. They said they are happy to help me because I enjoy it so much (I asked, because I didn't really understand). I was touched and in a state of shock. I've had good experiences at a Dress Barn too.

Since then I ran across this article in vox: http://www.vox.com/2015/2/25/8103861...ob-description. The story confirms what my sales angels said.

I know one thing for sure. I try to be extra nice because I don't want to mess things up for the next CD that comes to them.

[Janine cd]

I remember buying a couple of bras at a local Penney's. When the sales person finished ringing up the items, she commented that I would look very lovely in my selection. I'm sure I blushed when I said thank you.

[Sissy_in_pink]

There are only 2 stores that I go to that the SA know I'm buying for me, the rest ask me is it for my wife, I say no I'm divorced, then they say oh for your girlfriend, I so no I don't have one, but they just don't seem to catch on dang.
My doctor was real quick at catching on after telling her that I wanted my right foot xrayed do to extreme pain in it, when she asked why I told her that I couldn't wear high heeled shoes and wanted to know what was causing the pain, she then immediately asked me if I was a crossdressing so I said yes, she got very excited at the news.

[Steph54]

In stores that have an SA at the fitting room. You have to return the items to the fitting room monitor. The number you took in matches the number you bring out

[Julie MA]

Tried on some body suits at Macy's yesterday, OVER a bulky pair of men's boxers. The signs about same sex, ha ha, loss monitors, and the shoddy sealant around the dressing room mirror, had me wondering if there were 2 way mirrors w cameras. With the lack of SAs, can't imagine they would have the staff for that anyway.

[Becky Blue]

Bought a skirt at a shop in a discount mall today... it was a black stretchy tightish skirt, no need to try on..went to pay the SA smiled, asked me if I had that store card, i said no, she said would you like one, I said no thanks. I paid and as I turned to go she said enjoy.. she knew it was for me, even though the skirt was a medium.

[nikkiwindsor]

Something tells me that a few of the SAs would love to be invited to place dress up!

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Caitlyn, For all of my apprehension and fear, sometimes I am almost shaking, l have never had a bad experience. I have had three sales associates who were very helpful and I had the feeling they new. I have never shopped enfem, I have always wanted to but not yet. I have never been caught, not yet anyway. But I love the adrenaline rush. Take care Brenda

[Allison Chaynes]

As an SA myself, I can tell you that not all SAs know or care who you are buying for. You'd be surprised how many men buy women's attire and no one thinks anything of it, except for two occasions:

1) a sister called the store and asked about the CD policy (there isn't one), and
2) back in March, a sister asked my peer to help track down a specific style of panty she wanted for herself.

With that said, it's cool if you want to tell an SA that you CD. BUT when you start trying to show pix of yourself in panties, you are crossing a line and not helping the CD image!!!! This happened to my sister when she worked at VS.

[SherriePall]

While I have had many good experiences shopping (and many wonder memories of special SA's), I have had only one noteworthy bad one.
I once went into a clothing store after work (not well dressed) and was looking at some juniors wear inside the door when an older SA came over and informed me that they were for juniors.
I then asked where the misses fashions were. Rather snootily she pointed me to them where I selected three or four dresses to try on. She sent me to an upstairs dressing room where I tried them, but decided none really begged me to take them home.
I bid the SA goodbye and left.
A week or so later I was talking to my beauty products SA about the experience and she (a lovely looking young woman) told me that she had stopped there one time and got pretty much the same cold reception I got. I guess neither of us measured up to the store's customer standards.