Wife's bra

[Julie MA]

My wife is throwing out an old bra...thinking of asking her if I can have it. She doesn't know I CD. Too much, too fast?

[Lorileah]

Hmm, "honey can I have that old bra?" Wife: "Why would you? Ewww." If you do, you better have a good back story. Like you may need to MacGyver the belts on your Range Rover in the Desert. Or there are two birds you need to kill with one stone. How about you just come out and tell her WHY you want it? I know what I would think you wanted it for and I wouldn't like the idea. I would be more likely to give it to you to wear than what my imagination builds

Edit: You said in another thread

Now you have the chance that things will improve and you can open up. .
Julie

And you don't take your own advice?

[alwayshave]

Julie, Talking about burying your headline. I might talk to her first before hitting her with a question like that.

[valerie anne]

If she is throwing it out, it has either died (elastic stretched) or if originally white, it has gone grey.

It's unlikely to be your size, either!

When I first realised that I wanted/needed to wear a bra, I looked for cast-offs etc., as I didn't think the system would let me but new ones. But all the lingerie outlets are only too happy to sell you bras, they don't care if you are a guy.

Estimate your size then bid for your bras on eBay. You can get them at low cost and you can experiment with styles and colors.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Julie, Before you rush into that read line #4 in my signature......

[Brenda456]

Sounds like the two of you need to have a chat.

[Robin777]

I have some of my wife's old bras,because she outgrew them. I got them because she has known I CD since before we were married and they are my size. If your wife does not know you CD ,that is NOT the way to bring up a conversation about the fact you CD. You need to find another way to break the ice with her about what you do.

[DIANEF]

Julie, I started a thread some time ago about 'Golden Rules', No1 was - 'never wear your wifes things', I should have added never wear your wifes ex things. Much better to get your own, one that fits and is new.

[Alice_2014_B]

I've never been into my wife's clothes and such.
Even if we wore the same size, still wouldn't be interested.
I do, however, let her wear my heels in the bedroom from time to time; we wear the same size.

I have heard that it is a general rule not to take and wear your SO's clothes without them knowing.

[Johninabra]

Julie I used to wear my wife's old bras because she would not purchase bras for me. She told me I I wanted the right size bra I should get myself some. I finally took her advise and with her help measuring me I started purchacing my own bras. I will admit that wearing her bras even her discards was more exciting.

[immindy]

Maybe your real question is " Should I tell my wife I cross dress" I don't know how long you have been married or how close you and your wife are but at some point she most likely will find out you cross dress , if she doesn't already know . Also , gosh why would you want an old worn out bra anyway. Get your self new ones ,that fit you , to hold up those puppies

Cheers , Mindy

[Lana Mae]

You need to come out to your wife first and then go buy some bras that fit not her cast offs. IMHO Hugs Lana Mae

[JeanTG]

I for one can't speak enough about how important it is to be properly measured and fitted for a bra. I too tried an old cast-off at first and I couldn't understand why anyone would like that aspect of being a CD. Now that I have bras that fit, I feel naked without one.

[Tracii G]

If she is throwing out a bra its worn out so I have to ask why do you want a worn out bra?
Go buy your own bra.

[Beverley Sims]

My answer to any question about an old bra is, I am going to make a twin slingshot.

That is if the elastic is not worn.

Any bra with worn elastic will not support you anyway.

Straps keep falling off your shoulders etc.

Go buy a new one they can be cheap enough.

I have seen them for two dollars or less on an end of line sale.

I know winter is coming on but two pairs of shorts and a tankini bathers cost all up five dollars.

They will still be in fashion next summer.

[Julie MA]

Well, I did it. I was half joking about asking her for her old bra. My intent was a way to tell her about Julie.

We sat down to dinner, and my heart was racing, and I was occasionally gasping for air. She noticed. I thought it would take a few beers, but pretty quickly I said I had something to tell her that might be a little shocking. Ashen stare back at me. I started by assuring her I am not gay, wasn't leaving her, and wasn't cheating on her. A releived little smile now. I explained that as a bisexual, which I told her before marriage, this may not be all that hard to believe. She has also said that I put on a tough exterior but knows I am a real softy. I said that I like to wear women's clothes sometimes. She gave me the biggest smile, squeezed my arm, and said that perfectly OK. Phew! What a dream. What a wife. Of course now it sinks in and the expected questions come. Do I want to trans? How often? When did it start? Have you been out? Etc. All good discussions and I haven't felt that close to her in years. Some emotion set in. Concern about the extent. Where it leads. What about the kids... More good. We shopped for gifts together with short discussions here and there and reassurances on both sides. I even pointed out a dress I liked. At home now and wouldnt you know the Snickers commercial with Willem DeFoe dressed as Marilyn Monroe, and the Big Bang Theory episode where the lose a bet and have to dress up as female super heroes came on. Inside laughs. But she was now exhausted and we went to bed, hugging each other to sleep. In the morning we did something we haven't done in 7 months. And clothes were not involved. I love my wife!

[Cheryl T]

Might just be a little too soon.
If she knew and approved or was DADT then yeah maybe.

[CynthiaD]

Here's an alternative suggestion:

Buy your own bra, a really fancy one, put it on, show it to your wife and say "Honey, look what I just bought, it's exactly what I've always wanted."

This will have about the same effect as your original suggestion, and you get a brand new bra out of it.

Of course your life might not be much fun afterwards ...

[Julie MA]

Today, after she had "processed" it further, she said she wants to go to couples counseling to be sure we both have the info and tools we need going forward. I completely agreed. I did add that I wouldn't be judged or scolded. She agreed.

[Tracii G]

Sounds like she is a very smart and understanding lady so head thru this together and you should be just fine.
Don't push too hard and think her acceptance is a green light for you to go hog wild.

[Amy Lynn3]

Way to go Julie. Now you can enjoy the rest of your life with your soul mate, without fears.

[pinkcapri]

Me and my wife go bra and panty shopping together, I select mine and she does hers and then we go to checkout together and pay. Saying that, often my wife would through in her bra on my face and say 'wear mine instead of your gigantic bra' :-). Yes, I wear a 38DD with silicone forms 7 inches in diameter and 3.75 tall, to which she taunts me 'get rid of the grandma boobs and wear smart sexy boobs'.

[Julie MA]

Thanks, ladies. So many of you gave me the confidence to do this. Took 20 years.

[Aunt Kelly]

Well played, Julie. You appear to be headed down the right path. Here's hoping that ends up in a good place for both of you.

Hugs,

Kelly

[DIANEF]

Sounds like you have a wonderful wife Julie, so happy for you.