It started when I was 12 years old, coming home after school, and having an hour by myself to borrow my sister's clothes, as every one here should be familiar with. I continued on, floating around because I couldn't reveal myself to any one. I eventually found a guy who would buy me clothes and dinner, and basically take pictures of me or treat me like arm candy. At 20 years old, I required massive brain surgery for the removal of a bacterial abscess, destroying most of my memory of my life before that point. After staring death in the face for about a week, I decided since I managed to win that battle, I'd come out of the closet before it was too late. Upon acquiring the new information about myself, every single friend immediately cut all communication with me, most of my family now refuses to talk to me about it. My sister basically told me that I'm still worthless in her eyes, my father refuses to talk about it in any capacity. My mother sort of accepted it, but we never talk about it. The only person who truly accepted me was my cousin, who took me out to a LGBT bar literally hours after I told him, but we don't really talk anymore.
At a job I acquired some years after the brain surgery and a couple of heart surgeries, I was able to come out of the closet to some people as I got to know them, but was fired from that job for unrelated reasons. Went to college, but didn't tell any one else because I learned that people generally don't like a TG who doesn't toe the political line of being left wing. So despite making one sort of friend there who majored in the same thing I did, I never told him. A great example of the past few sentences is thus: you guys know I'm bisexual, but he didn't, and one day asked me if I thought the government should allow gays to marry. I responded that government shouldn't be involved in marriage. He basically blew up at that thought and was angry at me for the rest of the day. Now, two years after finally graduating college, I still have no job, no friends, and recently tossed all my female clothes in the trash out of frustration.
I've been to nearly a dozen therapists over the years, but have never reached the point where I felt comfortable revealing to them my bisexuality or transgenderism, and usually got into a major argument with them within 3-4 months and stopped seeing them. Both paid therapists, and one that I visited a lot while who worked for the college I attended.
I spent a great deal of time researching how to transition, timelines, etc., and I formulated great plans. I still mostly want to transition to some degree, and I have decided on how far I'd go if I had a billion dollars and 5 years of free time. But several discussions with people here resulted in people becoming upset with my plans, so I put everything on hold and do nothing for a while (especially since it appears many don't like what I want to do before transitioning). Which is what I sort of have to do any way until I go to another college and finish that degree and get a half-way decent job and financial stability.
So, is that enough information? Happy now? I've stated this all before on this forum. I honestly don't know what any one wants.
