Ugh! While at my inlaws, my wife just stumbled across picks of me dolled up

[Pumped]

It is a tough place to be. My first wife was over weight and she was crazy about it. I don't remember being anything more than supportive and really didn't have a problem with it. She was over weight when I married her. She also would never dress up as she felt she never looked good in anything. I remember buying her a nice outfit that fit her body type well and she looked awesome in it. It showed some cleavage, she had large breasts. She tried it on in the store, looked herself over in the mirror at the store several times. I couldn't get her to take it off so I could buy it for her she liked it do well. I ended up buying the outfit for her and that was the last time she wore it. We went out to eat or out bar hopping where it would have been appropriate to wear but she wouldn't do it. Made me crazy!

[nikkiwindsor]

Yeah, my wife still continues to fret and complain about her weight and it brings her self-esteem down. And she just won't wear any dresses b/c of it. I explain to her that my self-esteem is ok even though I hate my body too. I need to tell her how would she feel if she was like me...female minded with a male body...that really sucks much more than being a little overweight

[kimdl93]

That’s a great analogy, Nikki, but it may not offer your wife much comfort. Here is a thought... would it be possible for the two of you to adopt a few lifestyle changes that over time could help her attain a more positive image. Doing it together is the key.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I don't think my ex-wife would approve-even when we were married. She did do my make-up once, for me, and put me in a pretty sheath dress for a while, but I think the newness of me being Roxanne wore off pretty quickly for her. Too bad, but then, she is gone, now. All I have to please now is myself!

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if you and your wife are suffering from the same thing, i.e., lack of self esteem. If you're mental angst is having a female mind in a male body that is different than your wife having low self esteem because of her weight. I think you can overcome some of your inner negative feelings with shaving your body and maintaining a womanly body. Your plight is you don't live in a vacuum. Your married to a non accepting woman. Part of her issues is "What will other people think?" I've said many times part of a woman's baggage with her husband's cross dressing is being painted with the same brush society paints her husband with. Many times the fear of discovery is "What's wrong with HER? Why is she still married to a guy who wears women's clothing?" There is the fear of being cast aside by family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Being 'outed' ends up being a reflection upon her.

This weight issue with women is a beast unto itself. I have encountered sometimes a person whose weight gain is from necessary medication. Unfortunate, but it happens. My wife has a BMI over 30. She qualifies as obese, although the manner in which the weight is carried does not make her look all that overweight. She knows she is overweight. If I say something medical, she lashes out. She is recovering from the effects of breast cancer treatments and surgery. One of the contributing causes to cancer, and not just breast cancer, is being overweight. Yet, she still drinks her soda/pop and eats ice cream too often. Once she was five foot two and 115 pounds. Now she is five foot two and 185. I truly do not care that she is overweight from the spirituality between us, but, I really would like to have her around for the next 15-20 years.

If your wife is marginally overweight which seems to be the case by your choice of words, she should be coaxed into losing weight for her own health. It is not a competition between her, a woman, and, her husband who wants to look terrific emulating a woman. A woman does not have to wear a dress to look desirable. Don't let her equate in her mind that losing weight is a competition to see who looks better in a dress. She should get annual checkups if she is not already doing that. And, she should, and you too, see a dietician to learn how to prepare meals, and, thus eat healthy. Maybe some psychological counseling is in order for your wife to deal with her lack of self esteem.

[JessikaRobin7]

I have dropbox on my phone with "Camera Uploads" turned on. if I have a big batch that could be seen I just open dropbox, let the pics upload and then delete them from my phone.

of course that was a while ago... I haven't deleted them in a while because I'm getting to the point of being ok with someone seeing... taken a longgg time

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

so when the group is together after dinner and you hand your phone to the stranger to take the pic? lol... i can feel my stomach twitch giving them an open window...

[Mary Lawrence]

With respect to the hair removal issue, one "advantage" of getting old is the loss of hair and changes in the character of the remaining hair. Most of my head hair is gray and about 50% or more of body hair is also. The texture is also much finer, but seems to grow faster. On the other hand, if leg or arm hairs are pulled out by waxing or rotary hair removal device, it seems to take more time to regrow. Under my arms, the process seems much much slower. If I shave my legs, the renewed hair is so fine there seems to be little real stubble, just finer shorter hairs. Overall, the body hair is easier to manage. However, I don't recommend anybody try to speed up aging to help solve the hair problem as it is much nicer to be young. Try to stay young.

[Stephanie47]

One of the unintended effects of having type 2 diabetes is loss of body hair on the legs. I don't recommend getting diabetes along with aging. Shave instead.

[CDYoga]

This was a very interesting read! With all of this happening do you regret having the pictures on your phone at all?

[nikkiwindsor]

This was a very interesting read! With all of this happening do you regret having the pictures on your phone at all?

Honestly, I don't regret having the pics on the phone. While it wasn't my intention for my wife to see the pics I obviously wasn't being very careful in storing the pics on the phone and my wife had the password to the phone as well. I would like her to completely accept me and her viewing of the pics has opened up long conversations between the two of us about my feminine spirit and soul. So, all in all I don't have any regrets.

[Alice B]

Not to sound offensive, but reading all of this is like reading a dime store novel. In my very humble opinion it seems as if you are letting your wife control too much or everything. She knows and claims to accept your dressing. She knows of and where your clothing is, she has seen images of you dressed and in make up. Since she does not like or wear make up, which is not that unusal for many on our site. Shave and keep your legs shaved if that us what you want, or get them waxed. Wear your make up when you dress. Just don't push it in her face. In time she will come around.

[CDYoga]

How is it that your wife has a problem with you shaving your legs... but you have such feminine eyebrows? I don't understand...

[nikkiwindsor]

How is it that your wife has a problem with you shaving your legs... but you have such feminine eyebrows? I don't understand...

CDYoga...I appreciate where you're coming from and I'll provide an explanation which is a bit lengthy. But, reality is reality. And first, I just must express how happy I was to read that you found my eyebrows to have a feminine appearance. Like many of us, I have a large dose of gender dysphoria and anytime I hear that I have feminine attributes...well, suffice to say it makes me feel really joyful! Now, onto to and explanation. Fortunately, I have very, very light colored hair and brows. In male mode, it's a bit of a challenge to see my brows to begin with. In addition, over many, many years I have also moderately plucked the thicker hairs of my brows to the point that they no longer grow in. I think getting older has also made a difference in my thicker hairs not returning. So, through several years of plucking, most of the brow hairs I have left are softer and shorter. That wasn't how it began though...if I didn't thin out my brows they did become a bit "bushy.' When I plucked I didn't narrow very much the thickness of my brow line. I like a thick well-defined brow as you can tell. When I first began to pluck my wife did complain but over time she seems to have accepted it. I think it helps that more men are grooming themselves to include shaping and taking care of their brows. My wife has noticed this. My barber (I wish I had a hair stylist!) also offers to trim my brows which I readily accept. My wife use to complain about me permitting the barber to trim my brows but I just said everyone else seems to be doing it. She simply doesn't complain any longer about what I've done to my brows. Moving on to my makeup routine...when I transform I create a feminine arch to my brow by gently lifting up the brow with the use of strategically placed surgical tape on my forehead. You can YouTube face taping to see how this is achieved. You cannot see the tape because it is high up on my forehead and my bangs hide the clear tape. Since we're on the subject of face taping I'll also share that I use tape to create higher cheekbones and smooth the skin around my jaw line and neck. It's really amazing what face tapping can do to create a more feminine appearance. Some people call face taping a non-surgical facelift. With respect to cosmetics, I use dark brown brow gel to define the shape and create the color of my brows. The before and after is truly remarkable. As I shared earlier, my brows are very light (honey blonde) in color but after all the work I spend getting my brows done they are very noticeable and I think help frame my eyes. I just LOVE a dark, well defined and thick brow! I hope this lengthy explanation answers your question. And if you have anymore, don't hesitate to ask! Nikki

[Gwyneth]

I would say more on a pm. But your inbox is full again! I do want to tell you that you are wonderful arm candy!

[nikkiwindsor]

Since I've ordered my first two sleeveless dresses (really, I've only had long sleeve dresses in my wardrobe) I decided to just go ahead and significantly thin out the hair on my arms. Fortunately, my hair is very light in color. I knew the Mrs wouldn't like it and she didn't. She said don't do that again or I she may no longer allow me to dress up (she wasn't too angry fortunately). So, I'm ready to model my new dresses once they arrive! Nikki

[jamienoir]

When you dress now is your wife around.

[nikkiwindsor]

When you dress now is your wife around.

Jamie, sometimes she's around other times not. But, when she's around she doesn't want to see me dressed. Keeps telling me that sometime in the future she will. I can tell she's concerned that I may transition.

[nikkiwindsor]

A humorous story to share with a happy ending. About a week ago, my wife and I went shopping for a new car. When it came to settling on options I wanted fewer while my wife wanted more. We argued (or should say expressed our opinion) back and forth for quite some time with the sales associate sitting there patiently waiting for us to figure things out. Eventually, he gave up and left the room allowing us to keep discussing alone. Once he departed, my wife said to me I'll let you shave your legs and keep them shaved if you'll give me the options I want after all it's going to be my car. I immediately beamed back at her and said YES!!! as long as she'd let me keep my arm hair very short as well. She readily accepted the terms and commented on how quickly my attitude changed from argumentative to joy. If only she knew what gender dysphoria feels like and how expressing femininity in any way helps us feel better about ourselves. She's happy and I'm happy...yay!

[Gwyneth]

I'll bet she gets a lot of what she wants going forward. But I hope she knows how lucky she is to be with you.

And I've got to let you know how lucky you are. Unbelievably hot! Your latest pictures are fabulous. There's a lot more I could say, but your inbox is full! You are too popular!

[jamienoir]

I love reading your posts.

[Gwyneth]

I love reading her. Awful easy to look at too!

[Crissy 107]

Nikki, Great story! Crissy

[jamienoir]

Your story is interesting. Do some wives have less of an issue when it's just a man in a dress. Do they start objecting more if the makeup skills and dress improves.
In your case Nikki you have that slim leggy presentation, so I can see her not wanting you to go hairless. Has she seen you in that little red number?

I'm not gonna lie - you inspired me to lose weight for dressing.

[nikkiwindsor]

You may imagine or not be surprised to learn that my gender dysphoria complicates our relationship on so many different levels. Over time, I'll share them (in previous posts, I've touched upon them, but our relationship changes and grows so updates now and again are warranted). If we talk about weight and wardrobe those are topics of discussion if not issues between my wife and I. I lost and maintained my weight at about 168 pounds while my wife struggles to lose weight. She knows I'm greatly motivated to lose weight because I'm so focused (to the point of vanity) on how I look particularly in my bodycon dresses. Since she knows about my femininity and gender dysphoria she is well aware of my growing wardrobe. She's seen each purchase of mine (heck, I use her name when ordering all my things) ranging from the mundane little black dress and foundation garments (thank goodness for spanx and the like) to the OMGosh tight bandage dresses in above the knee and midi lengths. Now, my wife owns a couple skirts and a couple dresses and never wears them. Her excuse is that b/c of her weight (she's not that much overweight in my opinion) she wouldn't look good in either. Not true says I but she won't listen to me. Not to mention other reasons related to my feminine spirit and nature, my wife doesn't want to see me transformed and expressing my feminine side b/c she's a bit envious about my weight and knows I probably look pretty good in my body clinging dresses. She saw a few pics back a couple years ago that started this thread but I honestly don't know what pics she saw. Definitely, head shots were included in the mix for sure since I've always taken close up pics. But, as to what I was wearing I haven't a clue other than I know she wouldn't have seen me in my bandage dresses b/c I bought those since she stumbled across my pics. I hope in the future she'll be comfortable seeing me dressed up. Yet, I know a number of things will need to be addressed. And one of them will be just the subject we're talking about now. She needs to lose whatever weight will make her happy and feel good about wearing her dresses and skirts at least every once in a while. After that's resolved, we can move on to other aspects of my GD that have room for discussion and understanding between the two of us. All in all, we're in a good place and our relationship becomes stronger and stronger over time. When you can be open with your significant other about who you really are and how your really feel one's relationship is more intimate. Our marriage works b/c we are willing to grow and change, always be there for each other and try our hardest (it's difficult and we slip up regularly) not to judge one another. Again, I'll comment more about our unique relationship over time. And getting back to the latest twist in our lives, she's enjoying her optioned out new car while I'm thrilled with my smooth, bare legs and virtually hairless arms!

Nikki,

Jamie...I'm so pleased to know I inspired you to lose weight! Feeling good about how much the earth's gravity pulls down on us (whatever that is for each of us) is so important to our self-esteem, health and certainly, if not most importantly, for someone like me with a vain and insatiable itch for the most feminine of fashion, fitting into bodycon dresses!

[Becky Blue]

Great story Nikki, the funniest part of the story is when the sales guy returns to find you have caved in, he is thinking well we know who wears the pants in THAT relationship. little does he know who wears the dresses

I am so happy for you that you can now keep your legs and arms shaved and your wife gets to drive her car with lots of extras. have you thought about what else you can trade?