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Thread: Sick to my stomach.

  1. #26
    Budding and Blossoming Emma Beth's Avatar
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    Erin, thank you for bringing that up.

    I have been digging and learned a few things.

    One thing I found out is that the Managers do get rotated around the different stores in this division. He has been in this store longer than normal.

    Also, I have had something put on my plate that is a game changer for me. I'm not going into this simply because I need to wait for some other details to come my way, or events to come to fruition.

    As such, I have decided to leave things where they are at; here it is.

    I have talked with my Union Representative and they have the information, but I asked for them to not file a grievance.

    I have also done the same thing with Human Resources.

    I have two separate sets of documentation of what is going on.

    The reason I decided to not file a grievance is because I do not need for elevated retaliation from him, especially when he shouldn't be there much longer anyway.

    Not to mention, with this new thing on my plate; I may not stay with the company for another couple of years anyway.

    I will be in a situation that will allow me to be able to afford to pay out of pocket for my surgeries and really move along in my transition in ways that at the moment seem like I am limited in.

    This new situation does have a few conditions that I need to wait and see what happens. But I am so much more hopeful for things in the New Year that I'm 99% sure they will happen.

    For now, I refuse to let this person stain my life and continue to bloom and blossom.
    "Stop whining. Woman up."
    Go Go, Big Hero 6

    Some times ya just gotta laugh, regardless
    “God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”
    ― Voltaire

  2. #27
    Done and Dusted
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    I think it is wise that you have made others within your organisation aware of the issues you are facing. If you made a formal grievance, would this "manager" seriously risk escalating the matter and risk his own career?

    TBH though, only you can decide what is best for you in your situation. I hope that the other irons come out of the fire hot and ready for you
    Everything becomes clearer when the PINK fog lifts
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  3. #28
    Aspiring Member phylis anne's Avatar
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    Hi Emma ,
    the first thing we were taught in military leadership is that if it was not doccumented then it did not happen , that was a good choice on your part to make 2 dept's aware of your situation I always keep 3 personal files on those that are under me ,verbal, write up and even more important the kudos file as I believe it is just as important a management tool as the former 2. as you are union my question here is is management union as well ? in many cases mamnagement is not part of the union picture, others have mentioned "at will" while there are 32 or so states in the us that are the at will rules are pretty consistant accross the states with exceptions state by state as needed to make the rules fit you have more rights than you know in those states if you do your homework ,I spent 10 years in denali natl. in risk management and got to learn a lot on these little areas ,stand your ground within reason, be the best at whatever it is you do there and communicate with the steward and hr don't give this guy the satisfaction

  4. #29
    Budding and Blossoming Emma Beth's Avatar
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    Update: I'm so confused right now.

    Ok.

    I did what I said I was going to do.

    I talked both to HR and my Union Rep and made sure I had the situation on paper without taking action at this time.

    Here's where I'm now confused.

    The other day I was at work helping my Department Head with a task.

    While we were working he turned to me and asked me if our Store Manager, the person I had the problem with, if he had talked to me about me moving up to back up. (Department Head back up)

    ??? No, not yet.

    SO, it looks like I may be getting a promotion?

    I have to wonder. Is this genuine because of my actual performance on the job, or is he trying to put me in a position to get rid of me easier.

    I have to wonder because I'm hearing more and more reports of him bullying quite a few other employees over little things.

    One person even sent an email to his immediate boss about all this and got their job threatened over it.

    So, yet again I'm reassessing my situation and looking at what my options are at this point.
    "Stop whining. Woman up."
    Go Go, Big Hero 6

    Some times ya just gotta laugh, regardless
    “God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”
    ― Voltaire

  5. #30
    Gold Member Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    My best advice would be to talk it through with your union rep. Let's hope it is a genuine promotion.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

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  6. #31
    Aspiring Member Acastina's Avatar
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    I just got around to following this thread. As a retired attorney, I have some perspective on this. I was fired in 1984, during my eight-year real-life experience, by a state agency that was not free to discriminate on any arbitrary basis. I sued and hung on to it for four years while I worked at the better job I soon found. They finally settled with me, which paid a lot of bills and gave me the satisfaction of knowing that they didn't get away with it completely.

    What you describe in the first few posts is a classic hostile environment situation, in which a supervisor or (co-worker) harasses you or sabotages your efforts to be a good employee. If you've been with a relatively large company for 15 years, it's pretty likely that you're generally a good employee. Petty write-ups with abusive comments are a classic modus operandi in this context. The subtext of the hostility is an attempt to force you out, and phony or petty discipline is the pretext.

    You're doing the right thing to keep your union and HR people in the loop without demanding action. They will have your back if push comes to shove. It's also prudent to see if the frequent-transfer policy removes the problem supervisor from your workplace without your having to take action. Painstaking documentation will serve you well if there is some kind of showdown.

    The supervisor sounds like a throwback to times when bosses could bully people without consequences. Those days are rapidly fading. Exactly what the consequences might be today depends in part on where you live and work. Some states are more aggressive than others in protecting LGBT workers from discrimination, but the federal agencies have become much more responsive in viewing anti-trans hostile-environment abuse as sex discrimination under 50-year-old civil rights laws.

    Hang in there, do your job well, and keep a journal of everything, everything.

    Good luck.

  7. #32
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    If I were you, I would file a grievance.
    It's the only way he will stop his nonsense.
    Have you ever noticed that all those in favour of abortion have already been born?
    "If we had never sinned, we could not have called Christ, Saviour!"
    There's just enough religion in the world to make men hate one another, but not enough to make them love one another...
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  8. #33
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emma Beth View Post
    ...The other day I was at work helping my Department Head with a task.
    While we were working he turned to me and asked me if our Store Manager, the person I had the problem with, if he had talked to me about me moving up to back up. (Department Head back up)

    SO, it looks like I may be getting a promotion?
    I have to wonder. Is this genuine because of my actual performance on the job, or is he trying to put me in a position to get rid of me easier.
    I have to wonder because I'm hearing more and more reports of him bullying quite a few other employees over little things.
    One person even sent an email to his immediate boss about all this and got their job threatened over it.
    People tend to act the same wherever they go. This guy probably has a history of acting this way.
    Plus you said he is giving others a hard time over small things? That tells me that he is probably not making any special effort in your case. Plus, I could be wrong but i would assume it is unlikely that they would go thru the trouble of promoting you if they just planned on getting rid of you soon. It will cost them at least something to train and prepare you for a new position.

    Whoever is over your manager is likely already aware there is a problem. What the upper managers are probably doing is giving this guy enough rope to hang himself. You know how that goes - someone seems to be getting away with murder but then one day they are just out the door.

    As far as reporting him - YOU might be afraid because with your transition, it puts you in an awkward spot of "Am I protected? What are the GLBT laws? CAN they just fire me for that?" However, the others that he is bullying do not have that looming over their heads. They are not as worried about being fired. EVERYone thinks they are gonna be fired because of what makes them different. However, someone will or has reported him. It is probably not the first time.

    All this is mostly speculation of course. I do not think you have AS much to worry about as you think. Unless you have a history of several small incidents or do something serious like fighting, stealing, or major safety violations they are not likely to just say, "Ok, you are gone".

    Companies do not want to risk a law suit any more than someone wants to get fired for no good reason.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  9. #34
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    First, it is best to keep your union and the HR section in the loop as to what is going on. Due to privacy concerns there may be information related to your situation you are privy to. And, there may be a history of bad acts on his part you're not privy to. One of the issues that always seem to crop up is the timing. The question seems to always be, "If the situation was so bad, why did you not do something before?"

    Secondly, maintain a contemporaneous record of exactly what is occurring; time, date, witnesses, everything. I was a federal investigator for over thirty years. It was my job and those who I worked with to keep contemporaneous records of conversations. If and when any of us had to testify in a court of law there it was down on paper and recorded in a timely manner. Such testimony cannot be just blown off by the courts. Recollections of what may or may not have happened really don't go far in court.

  10. #35
    Budding and Blossoming Emma Beth's Avatar
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    I got some good news today in regards to my entire situation.

    Number one, I haven't heard anything official. But, it looks like I may have that promotion after all. It seems that I may have been the most qualified for the position out of everyone that showed interest. The frustrating part is waiting for official word, the pay raise, and any "paperwork" to be completed by Management.

    Second, I received word from a rather reliable source today that he will be transferring to another location some time soon. I think by Summer. Personally, I'm hoping sooner.

    My source stated that there have been a lot, and I mean A LOT, of complaints on him and the Manager at the location he will be transferred to is leaving the Company.
    "Stop whining. Woman up."
    Go Go, Big Hero 6

    Some times ya just gotta laugh, regardless
    “God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”
    ― Voltaire

  11. #36
    Aspiring Member Kelly Marie's Avatar
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    Sounds like good new in the offing. I don't want to jinx you, but I have to say, well played, Emma. Good luck on the home stretch.

    Hugs,


    Kelly

  12. #37
    Member Contessa's Avatar
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    I don't know anything. I do know I transitioned at work. I didn't do anything wrong I thought. I finished my last few years at work where everyone knew me as Contessa, though that was not my legal name. And it still isn't. The last job I got and quit I got as myself. My question for you is what is the company policy for transitioning. I would think that they either believe that this could happen or had/has already happened. Many companies set policy as to whether they would allow someone to transition at work. I worked for the school district in a major city and at a high school. My immediate supervisor didn't like it but all the principals were okay with me. So transitioning does happen. I went to work one day dressed. And ended up transitioning. Don't fear you will be the person you say you are afraid of. Go to HR and get answers, if there is upper management elsewhere think about contacting them. We do exist I am a sure example of that. I will be around for the rest of my life. No no one should give you advice cause if you do something and are fired for it or you think so. You will blame that person. You use the info as you wish. I do not seek to have you harmed in anyway. You are my sister, I do ask that you make good decisions and not let others make decisions for you. Work should be a happy hapless environment. Go to work and smile because what you will be going though will be hard enough.

    Your sister
    [COLOR="blue"]Contessa Marie D

    I'm TG. A fem-male so I look male sometimes.

    Dressing is necessary, the type of clothes you wear not so much.

    This above all to thy own self be true!

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