Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 138

Thread: Don't want to be a man anymore, do you ?

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    11,005

    Don't want to be a man anymore, do you ?

    This question finally came up after my wife had to visit the doctor about an ear problem. She has been using drops to clear the problem up, I mentioned men usually have more problems because of the hair that grows around the ears. She went on to ask if I liked hair , I answered hair in the ears is ugly ! She then persisted that I don't really like hair anywhere, I finally admitted I didn't as she knows I shave all over now anyway. I'm not sure if her final remark was a statement or a question when she said you don't really like being a man anymore, do you !/?

    I so much wanted to go further with this conversation but I knew she was looking to stir the situation up so I replied no, not really and left it at that.

    I know it was a situation missed but there are right times and wrong times and getting into a heated discussion doesn't solve anything, I've been there and experienced it too many times. They have to happen when you hope progress is going to be made not to step backwards .

    The good point to come out of this is she is thinking about it and truthfully knows the answer, she has to come to terms with it in her own way .

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    95
    ...in the same subject of conversation my GF has asked me several times if I'm gay. She did it last night...again. Then my answer is a straight NOT. "Technically to be gay, one has to have sex with another man, because I haven't(yet) I'm not gay. However I might be lesbian so you are"...then she said:"Good night...KARLA!"

  3. #3
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    6,897
    I think many of us might think they don't want to be a man anymore (more specifically, they would rather be a woman), but they aren't thinking seriously and they know it's not going to happen. It's a fantasy.

    While it is possible to have the surgeries, get the body hair removed, etc., and it's not inexpensive. More importantly, the majority of us have families, jobs and other relationships and suddenly going from Bob to Suzie would create a lot of problems. And your past disappears. "Suzie" was never born. "Suzie" never went to school. "Suzie" never had a job.

    And if "Bob" is 6' 4" and 260 lb with big hands and feet, "Suzie" will be just as big. Suzie will have a hard time being accepted as a woman.

    True, there are a few males whose desire to be female is so strong that they are willing to go through all of this. Not crossdressers though.

  4. #4
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Boston Area
    Posts
    4,092
    Quote Originally Posted by karla2016 View Post
    Then my answer is a straight NOT. "Technically to be gay, one has to have sex with another man, because I haven't(yet) I'm not gay.
    So by reflection, that would mean that straight people aren't straight until they've had sex with someone? I don't think your reasoning is sound. There are plenty of gay kids who know they are gay and have not yet had sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by karla2016 View Post
    However I might be lesbian so you are"...
    It's very difficult to express how inappropriate/offensive it is for crossdressing men to claim they are lesbian. You are not.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  5. #5
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,954
    If I were 20 again I would do it in a heartbeat Krisi but at 64 I know its not going to happen.
    It drives me crazy sometimes that I am not in the right body but it is what it is.

    Right on Jennie
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  6. #6
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    6,897
    Yes, but did you feel this way at age 20? I did not and I enjoyed being male at that age. At age 20 I had no thoughts of becoming a woman or even wanting to be one. It wasn't really possible back in those days.

    Back in those days, women were truly "second class citizens". They did what their husbands told them to do, birth control was unreliable and difficult and job opportunities were limited. Career opportunity were very very few.

  7. #7
    Country Gal.... Megan G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Southern Ontario
    Posts
    492
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    While it is possible to have the surgeries, get the body hair removed, etc., and it's not inexpensive. More importantly, the majority of us have families, jobs and other relationships and suddenly going from Bob to Suzie would create a lot of problems. And your past disappears. "Suzie" was never born. "Suzie" never went to school. "Suzie" never had a job.
    Seriously Krisi? Do you just reply without putting any thought into it? Your past does not disappear, your employment and educational history does not suddenly vanish when you transition... what was once there, will always be there.... I'm not going to get into the logistics of it all but try thinking about it a little....
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 12-29-2016 at 09:32 AM. Reason: sending pm
    I'm outta here...

  8. #8
    Junior Member jennigrace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    90
    I have no desire to be a woman. I just love the look and feel of the feminine clothes and make up. I especially love the feel of panties after shaving and using a depilatory.
    jennigrace

  9. #9
    SJW and Proud of It! Christina D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    165
    Are there times I wish I had more pronounced feminine features? Absolutely! As much as I love being Christina every once and a while (I fully dress maybe 3 times a week for about 5 hours at a time), I can't imagine not being able to go back.

    That being said, I definitely don't mind being a man (by which I mean I have zero body dysphoria), but I'm not necessarily enthralled with or proud of being a man either. Like wearing mens clothes in general, I often feel like my male body and self are purely functional; it doesn't really matter to me one way or another. Still, being a woman full time, even if that just meant dressing and presenting, sounds like too much.

    I'm really not sure why I'm satisfied with the mediocrity of being male 4+ days out of the week. The fear of dressing more being too much of a good thing perhaps? The fear of chasing or acting upon what really makes me happy in favor of what's easier for others to accept?

  10. #10
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,854
    No. But, I'd like to fly like a bird and not age or die, also.

    At least I'm able to look like a female on occasion. Better than nothing.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #11
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    TEHRAN
    Posts
    2,275
    As a a lifelong crossdresser there have been times when I thought I might want more than just putting on the clothes and make-up, but that big word is 'might' If I truly wanted to transition it would have happened a long time ago. I could and have spent extended periods in female mode and really didn't want it to end, but there are a few things I like about being a male so transitioning is not for me. But, the desire can occur in later life and if that is what someone thinks they need for their own happiness and well being who are we to criticize.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  12. #12
    Member immindy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    153
    Wow , discussing body hair has really opened up some issues here. We all dress for different reasons. For myself , yes If i knew what I knew now I would have transitioned at age 20 or younger but I went to counseling as a child and became convinced it was not right for me to want to be a woman. Fast forward to today and I have now lived most of my life as a man so completely telling the world to only think of me as a woman now would be very hard . I realize some need to do this no matter what the consequences . I have been able , after counseling and such , to come to a happy compromise . My body is becoming more like the woman that I am ( do to hormones ) but I often still present as a male when I need to . Will I fully transition with surgery or what not ? I may as circumstances change .

    Back to talking about hair and the male body . I love not having male body hair ! My beard growth has even slowed down. But one should not go on hormones just to get rid of body hair , of course

  13. #13
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    Posts
    5,581
    Wow what a question, well I know it has crossed my mind many times and while I sometimes wish I had been born a girl
    it just wasn't meant to be, I've found a way to express myself as a women by dressing and doing my best to blend into society. I too hate body hair it's part of who I am does it mean I'm a women no I just don't like it and it's easier to express
    my fem side with no hair. I do consider myself trans but not one who will ever fully go one way with it. It took years to get
    to this point and accept it and understand it

  14. #14
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    5,990
    that was a carazy question. However, In a few minutes I am going for my laser appointment for my ears. Yep I do not like hair on my ears.
    Part Time Girl

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Fiona123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    967
    As I am typing this I am sitting alone (at last) in a quiet house wearing a dress hose bra etc. I'm loving it. Do I want to be a man? I think not.

  16. #16
    Cougar in hiding kymmieLorain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Laramie, WY
    Posts
    1,117
    I got asked the same question after watching the Law & Order. SVU about the transgender daughter. I mentioned that I can accept that situation. And believe in the choice. The S/O asked if I would like to be a woman. I did tell her NO. actually at times I wish I was. However as tracii said. at 20 possibly at 52 its not in the cards.

    Kymmie
    Just your average harley riding crossdressing biker

    Why be normal??????

  17. #17
    Aussie girl enjoying life Michelle (Oz)'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    931
    Body and facial hair are a battle for any CDer. Waving a magic wand to rid hair would make transformation so much easier and effective.

    My response to wanting to be full time is 'no' while ever my wife is alive and I don't want to contemplate life without her. That aside, being male is such an easy state for me.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,417
    At times no, at times perhaps at times yes....
    Krisi size and shape have absolutely nothing to do with a persons feelings about their gender whether you are 5'6" and 120lbs or 6'4" and 250lbs is totally irrelevant... people don't transition because they are able to look more realistic. Being large does not mean you have any less right to feel female.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  19. #19
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    162
    I accept the body hair and being male. This acceptance probably affords me the ability to throw on some women's clothing and be out the door in a couple of minutes and be able to pack a pair of shoes, tshirt, and jeans with me to change into if the need arose.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    4,943
    I'm not sure if her final remark was a statement or a question when she said you don't really like being a man anymore, do you !/?

    I so much wanted to go further with this conversation but I knew she was looking to stir the situation up so I replied no, not really and left it at that.


    You need to be careful and separate the desire to be accepted fully by your SO and the desire to be fully femme 24/7 and by that I mean transitioned. I can understand the need to have the absolute freedom to dress as and when you want, no reservations, full on, out there with the muggles and not having to worry about the social consequences. This is different to being fully transitioned, HRT, SRS, the whole nine yards. That would be a whole new paradyne. We sometimes wish for things that turn out to be more than we wanted or bargained for. The pink fog isn't solely confined to shopping.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    11,005
    I should add that also part of her comments were also aimed at the length of my nails !

    I'm not sure if it was accidental or intentional but she didn't comment about me wanting to be female or a woman, she was making more of some the feminising details. I know i have said on more than one occasion that I'm no longer interested in what the male side of my life entails.

    Krisi,
    I won't be as blunt as Meghan but why don't you just accept we 're on different roads heading in alternative directions. My wife would have made those comments no matter what my physical size and shape was, I do count myself lucky that I don't have to worry about that aspect being only 5' 7" and weighing 147 lbs.

    Transition is not a fantasy, Tracii is partly right that age is stacking up against me but talking to a TS at my social group proves that point wrong when some of them at her gender clinic are in their eighties .

    As for changing from BOB to Suzie , that's not a problem either as my female name is derived from male one, I have lived with this feeling since I was eight years old but I was partly born as Teresa, she has always been part of my life.

  22. #22
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    6,772
    What is, and what should be. Oh, how we wonder about that. Wanting something to happen, and actually having it happen, are two entirely different things. In our daydreams, we think of ideal situations and conditions, and everything always works out wonderfully. But when we come out of that dream, we face reality, and know that what we wished for is actually impossible. As a kid, I dreamed of growing up to become a beautiful woman. As I got older, occasionally I would wonder if maybe it could really happen, and when I first read all about Tula, the beautiful TS model/actress, the desires once again came to the forefront of my daydreams. But always the real world would pull me back. I know I can never be the woman that I dreamed of being; I'm not a female, not built anything like a beautiful female, and I don't think like a female. So trying to become something that I'm not, would be pointless. It doesn't stop the desires from occurring; I understand why I feel the way I do. It's not based on reality. I'm OK with living my life as a guy. It's what I am.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  23. #23
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    2,792
    We all should accept other's opinions. I started at 5 CDing. I didn't know about sex but enjoyed wearing and acting as a girl in my sister's dresses. As I grew older I was confused as to who I was and what was my future. Since my sisters were destined to be housewives I assumed I would also be one. In my preteens I liked girls and have always been attracted sexually to them. But, living and doing things has always been toward fem things.

  24. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    england
    Posts
    202
    Krisi your reply is spot on ! Well said x

  25. #25
    Pirate Queen wannabe Maria Blackwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    723
    Yes, it's a pure fantasy to many of us to really have our gender changed. I'm *quite* acutely aware of that. I've stated elsewhere I consider all current medical tech on that front to be not even close to what I need. Although reports of head transplant studies perked up my ears recently. CD is my release valve. It took me a while to realize it.

    As for how things were "back in the day", my mother became an electro-mechanical engineer at Bell Labs in the early 1960s. She worked on the Apollo program at TRW, and moved into classified work she could never tell me about during the 1970s until she retired in the late 90s. Things she helped design are still out there in geostationary orbit.

    And by all the gods ever invented by humanity, I hate my body hair. I check for new methods of permanent removal regularly.
    Last edited by Maria Blackwood; 12-29-2016 at 03:08 AM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State