A fetish would cause me to dress for sexual gratification only to be ashamed and or confused afterwards. The confusion no longer exists.
A fetish would cause me to dress for sexual gratification only to be ashamed and or confused afterwards. The confusion no longer exists.
Last edited by Billy; 01-16-2017 at 09:16 AM.
All normal feelings I assure you Billy. Many of us have similar experiences, I used to get a sexual thrill from wearing female items, I really loved swimming costumes for some reason, but as you get older your feelings change and if you accept what you are that's all that matters.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
The best part is that after gratification I can still want to and do wear the panties and items. No more shame.
Last edited by Billy; 01-16-2017 at 09:16 AM.
I was the same way. Would only dress up when I wanted to play alone, afterwards I would take off my clothes as fast as possible once my fun was over.
There still are times this happens, but they are becoming few and far in between. I've been loving wearing womens clothing more and more.
I concur, used to have the same issues, its best to be honest with you first...
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
Diane,
I've posted in the TS section about how my CDing started that was down to a swim suit, and far more .
Teresa, I still have my sisters blue cossie from about 1978, no idea why I've kept it so long, a reminder of earlier times....
Here today, gone tomorrow....
That's right we have to find the peace. It was my wife that shined the light on me, after about a month after I told her, she wanted to give it a chance and observed me and wanted to see what it was all about. She told as far as she was concerned I was very normal but enjoyed women's clothing and I wasn't harming anyone. She told me to stop feeling guilty and not to try to figure it out, instead enjoy the gift I was given. After that my hole life changed, I finally felt a sign of peace and for the first time I felt normal and nothing was wrong with me. I believe until you find where you want to go with it, you will never find peace.
Billy there have been similar questions asked lately on the forum and I consider this type of question a necessary one. I think the sexual part is sometimes an ending to a limited time. If there was unlimited time to express your female persona then it would be possible to live as a female without the pent up frustration. I've experimented a lot over the years and I've listened to my needs as a crossdresser. When I've had the time I actually feel less sexual but more complacent with my female side as a normal woman. With time my male side dissappears. When it's only a short time I have to dress then I feel sexually frustrated with female desires. It's like I'm begging to be female for one last time before passing through back into a male roll.
Good thread!
Emma x
When I first started to dress there was certainly a sexual component to it, but then again at that age (about 10 - 12) just about everything has a sexual component and I too felt the associated shame and guilt. I have since very much accepted my crossdressing and it is a source of great comfort and pleasure to me, though no longer a sexual thrill. No guilt, no shame, no confusion. That being said, I'm still closeted and will likely remain so. While self acceptance is one thing, acceptance by others is an entirely different matter. My wife recently found out and we are (very slowly) working through this. At best right now I would say I'm "cautiously optimistic".
Billy, I started as you, and others in this thread. But I never felt shame or guilt. I just knew the CD part wouldn't be accepted. Most boys hide even plain old masturbation because it is a private thing between yourself and no other. Usually. Now as I have come out to my wife, and with all the support on this forum, I feel more comfortable with my CD than ever before. Still working on my wife and making progress. Julie
I think that I would echo everything that has been said in earlier replies. For sure, my earliest crossdressing experiences involved self gratification and even now that is present at times. But what I continued to wonder was why did I want more women's clothing, why was more clothing more exciting and why did I (and still do) want to expand my female experience? I still do not have the answer to that and that is one of the beautiful things about this site. While no one can answer my question, I find that there are a lot of similar folks here and that is reassurance that I am not the only crossdresser with these feelings. Billie, welcome. You are in the same place as many of us.
I think that I want more female clothes and to wear them at will because they are comfortable.
Last edited by Billy; 01-16-2017 at 09:17 AM.
Self acceptance is an important milestone on this journey. Unfortunately early on, crossdressing has a terrible stigma of shame when the desire dissipates with fulfillment only to just return and build up again. But, when self acceptance crowds out guilt and shame, it affects your entire personality. I'm personally very proud to be fortunate enough to have the amazing exciting world of femininity to explore and enjoy. And that feeling bolsters self confidence in everything I do. I couldn't imagine being so two-dimensional as to just exist in one gender.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Before the internet and sites like this one I thought there was something wrong with me. Seeing others out there are dealing with the same issues made it much easier for me to accept myself. I may be 'different' but there is definitely nothing wrong with me!
It took me a long time to accept that I was a crossdresser. Before that, I thought of myself as just a guy who likes to wear a bra and have boobs.
I feel much better admitting that I am a crossdresser.
Over the years I have had a hard time separating the sexual gratification from the gender id aspect of crossdressing. I'm getting comfortable with seeing myself as on some level as transgender.
I do get satisfaction when wearing women's clothes and have striped and clothing and makeup off once satisfaction has come. But thirty minutes later I am back dressing as a woman. I just need to get pass having that one organism and I could stay dressed as a woman all day long.
The guilt and doubt, pretty normal stuff. Maybe not as much today, especially for younger people, but I've not been a part of that demographic for... a while now.So I don't really know. Meh...
I do know that I shook it all off at once, many years ago. Just decided that this is who I am. I don't let Kelly Marie meet many people, but I never question how happy I am when I'm her.
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