Do you "NEED" to dress or just "WANT" to dress?

[JeanW]

I guess for me having spent so much of my life feeling ashamed of the sexual excitement I got from wearing something feminine. Then settling into off and on wearing panties in private still with the feelings of guilt and shame. Then about 4 years ago having "the talk" with my wife and her not just accepting but pushing me to open up about things. Then her starting to give me feminine things to "try" and continuing to tell me it isn't something I need to be embaressed or ashamed of that she loves all of me and this is part of me. To actually feeling very comfortable and natural being dressed fully with her. As this thing between us started to grow she told me I was a much easier person to get along with that I had started to become a grumpy old man and that she didn't want to be married to a grumpy old man. Now when there has been some time of me not dressing ( outside forces preventing it) she's started to comment that maybe its time for jean to be around. Meaning that the grumpy/ bitchy person was showing. So that being said I guess there is some sort of need to my dressing.

[Lori_Lyn]

I would say that I want to dress, but if I go long enough without dressing,
the need makes it's presence felt.

[ronda]

I have been dressing my whole life have tried to stop but have not been successful so I would say I need to

[mona lisa]

I guess for me having spent so much of my life feeling ashamed of the sexual excitement I got from wearing something feminine. Then settling into off and on wearing panties in private still with the feelings of guilt and shame. Then about 4 years ago having "the talk" with my wife and her not just accepting but pushing me to open up about things. Then her starting to give me feminine things to "try" and continuing to tell me it isn't something I need to be embaressed or ashamed of that she loves all of me and this is part of me. To actually feeling very comfortable and natural being dressed fully with her. As this thing between us started to grow she told me I was a much easier person to get along with that I had started to become a grumpy old man and that she didn't want to be married to a grumpy old man. Now when there has been some time of me not dressing ( outside forces preventing it) she's started to comment that maybe its time for jean to be around. Meaning that the grumpy/ bitchy person was showing. So that being said I guess there is some sort of need to my dressing.

Its always nice to read about supportive wives

[Fiona123]

I need to be feminine. "Want" implies I have a choice. I dont. I was born this way.

[Heidi Stevens]

It used to be "have to", but since I have confirmed I'm transgender and started HRT, it's a question of want to. The hormone therapy has changed my drive to dress to the point I do it when I can and it's not a need that has to be taken care of right now.

[Aunt Kelly]

If the desired state is the feeling we get when we are pretty, then yep. It (dressing) is a need. We could argue forever about whether or not one "needs" that state, but I believe that wanting it is reason enough to satisfy the need. Make of that what you will.

[Sharon B.]

I need and want to dress. It get complicated if I don't dress for a while I get cranky, nervous, bitchy. Then when I get the chance to dress and needed it then I want more time to dress.

[KimberlyJean]

I concur with Fiona, if I had a choice, my life would be significantly easier without the need or desire to be Kimberly.

[Marcia Blue]

I have to say after dressing for 52 years that the "want turns to need". I have no true choice. I can not totally, not dress for an extended period of time.

I wish, the reason why was not a mystery. I wish that society did not drive us, to hide our second self.

[carolynhcd50]

I have been dressing for 50 years, albeit furtively and irregularly for the first 40 years. Now, I am always en femme when at home, and always wearing panties at the least when going out, to work, the market, etc. As it is winter now, I always wear a bra and single cup size breast forms, a camisole, and perhaps a blouse and mini half slip when going out to shop, hidden under a man's jacket zipped up high to hide the lace at my bodice. I have sometimes walked out of my house in broad daylight fully feminized, in skirt and heels and full makeup, when I cannot bear to be housebound any longer. While I certainly have no wish to scandalize my neighbors, there are rare times when Carolyn absolutely needs to walk in the sun. I have only purged once in my life, and I shall never do that again. I mean, why is it so difficult to buy a matching bra, panty and garter belt set these days without spending $100? And without the National catalogue, I wouldn't begin to know where to buy stockings! I wold love to hear any thoughts any of you may have on the blather.

[Natalie cupcake]

I notice too when the pink fog comes around and I don't get a chance to dress I get cranky/bitchy also. I don't know if it is a need or a want but i like doing it.

[Ally 2112]

I used to want to now i need to and when i was married and could not dress the bitchy cranky part was the first thing my x would notice

[suzanne]

Good thread. I spent years coaching my kids to make the distinction between need and want. Like you need a pair of shoes, you don't need 159 pairs of shoes. Bad example, bcz I know I have more women's shoes than I need. I just like them. Anyway, there are some days when it's nice to be dressed, and there's moments when I'm gonna go batcrap crazy if I don't get out of my boy clothes right now and into a skirt. So yes, it becomes a need. Don't ask me why or how.

[StephanieM]

It's what I call a secondary need, primary needs being food, water etc., we all have psychological needs that yes we can survive without meeting them, but when we do meet those needs we are mentally more healthy, so in that way it is a need.

[Periwinkle]

It's a want for me. I only get cranky if I had plans to dress on a particular day that get scrapped. But that would be my reaction to any of my premeditated plans getting scrapped. I really don't like it when things don't go as I planned.

[sara66]

Most of the time it is a need. The need increase as the time between dressing increases There are times I just want to. Most of the time I don't want the need to go away.
Sara

[Seana Summer]

I know I want to..........but I am not certain that I need to.

Fortunately I have not had to go without for an extended period of time.

[Becky Blue]

Interesting thread. From age 12 to 41 want. From 41 to 44 constant need. From 44 to 47 nothing. Since 48 intermittent need.

[Billy]

Why would someone that feels crossdressing is a need, do it in secret or hide it?

[Krisi]

I want to dress. More accurately, I enjoy dressing. I don't need to dress and I'm not compelled to dress. I can go for long periods without dressing if I have other things to do.

Anyone whose personality changes because they don't have the opportunity to dress up in women's clothes has a problem. And no, nobody was born a crossdresser. In the womb, we know nothing about clothing or sex.

If you "need" to dress up in women's clothing to the point where it is affecting your life or your relationships with your family or others, you should be working on this. You may be able to do it on your own or you may need help.

[Billy]

Krisi
Following your logic, wouldn't a personality change into a woman's personality when crossdressing be cause for concern?

[Krisi]

Yes. Yes it would be.

[Billy]

What about giving a separate identity to your crossdressed self? I notice that some people introduce this separate identity to their SO. It seems to me that if you become a different person or desire to be a woman then you are more than a crossdresser.

[Krisi]

I have posted this before and I'll post it again. I don't believe the simple act of strapping on a pair of boobs can actually change your personality or likes and dislikes. I think anyone who claims a change in personality when dressed is either fooling themselves or just acting a part.

We may walk or sit differently or order different food in a restaurant but it's just playing a part. When I turn on the radio or TV, I listen to the same music or watch the same shows. If I had voted in the recent election as Krisi rather than Homer, I would have chosen the same candidates.