I "need" to dress and though I am dressed 100% of the time now,
In the past, I would get "antsy" if I couldnt dress.....and then downright sulky....
I am a bit of a Diva anyway.....
I "need" to dress and though I am dressed 100% of the time now,
In the past, I would get "antsy" if I couldnt dress.....and then downright sulky....
I am a bit of a Diva anyway.....
Need!!!!
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Because there is a fairly good chance the people you love and care about could either reject you or completely change they way they see and act around you.
For me it is both. I certainly do Want to dress as often as I can. But it is also a Need. When I am dressed, I feel so content, calm (well, calm in one way, Excited in another way). rarely do I have to go for an extended period without dressing, but when it happens, I feel very frustrated, and anxious all the time. It seems all I can think about is when I will be able to dress again.
Always had the need. No question. As early as putting on my mom's high heels at 3. Drove me to depression and thoughts of suicide as I could not find the reason. Until I got here. Found out I'm TG. What a relief. I now dress as me and not that guy I was told I was.
Comfortable in my own skin.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity, and never cease to be amazed by it!" Lazarus Long
It begins as a want for me in the sense that I love the feel of certain articles of clothing that are designed for women. I'm a full-time wearer of panties (with my wife's approval) and also wear women's running tights/yoga pants all the time. I've even ventured out in public with a men's hoodie and plain women's leggings/pants quite often. (Well, plainish- my black pair has a mesh slash wrapping around the shin, and my dark gray pair has a subtle geometric pattern..)
But it transcends want and becomes a need for me in the sense that when I completely dress up, I actively take on a different persona. It serves as a means to "step out" of my male persona, and all of the stressors that currently drive me bonkers there. The terrible situation of my job and all of the changes and uncertainty there go away, even if just for a few moments. It's the setting-aside of my day life that keeps me from the depths of depression.
I need a new dress! I wish I hadn't purged.
Interesting question. For me, I think the best answer is all of the above"..
I'm glad you brought this up. I'm always asking where I am on this as a means to make the argument to my wife on the basis of 'justified need'. It isn't working since her 'want and need' are directly opposed.
But for my benefit, I'm thinking 'want' vs 'need' are measures of deficiency x importance. Wanting generally means satisfying a need with low enough intensity we can classify it as a nonessential desire, and 'needing' means we will suffer without satisfying it, therefore essential.
Crossdressing in all its various forms is a means to an end, satisfying a need in one or more dimensions of our personalities, each with varying levels of deficiency. The dimensions are multitudinous- anything limited by the gender binary so that we are on the wrong side of the fence for something we either desire or outright need. We want silky clothes, we want to be able to feel and laugh or cry more freely, we want to be desired sexually, to be receptive, to be light and perky, to be more like women, etc.
Becky- I think this may be the key to your desire subsiding/rising- maybe you can see if a piece of your actual need was satisfied/is no longer satisfied?
We are all beautiful...!
As time has gone on, it turned from sexual to want. Now it's become more of a need. Christina fulfills me and brings a satisfaction and happiness I would not otherwise have.
The NEED is at the core of my dressing, or I wouldn't have to fully dress every morning and stay dressed all day, when possible. Its more than a pink fog, perhaps a pink hurricane!
For me it's a good question... And it took me a while to come up with an answer.
I think, for me, it is a 'need', but it's one I can control the timing of.
Buying more women's shoes and clothes is definitely a compulsion for me - one that fills a personal and emotional need. I couldn't care less about most men's clothing, but my girly side demands a full wardrobe of cute clothes to go out in, for all types of situations, from fancy charity dinners to going nightclubbing to blending in at the mall or the grocery store. If it was just an "I want" situation, surely I could make do with a far smaller wardrobe? But I have a huge selection of shoes and clothes, and I wear virtually all of them on a regular basis. My feminine wardrobe has completely eclipsed my male side's selections.
But it's also a definite 'need' for me to go out and be accepted as a woman. Not just to wear the clothes, but to get out in public - fully made up with wig and breast forms and all - and interact with others and to be seen and perceived by others as female. I've found I am much happier when I am out and about while en-femme, regardless of how 'pretty' my outfit is. It's just as satisfying, for me, to go out in an outfit that is appropriate for blending in a mall or store - such as pair of women's jeans, a simple blouse or t-shirt, and sensible shoes or boots or sneakers - as it is to dress to the nines for nightclubbing in high heels, a pretty skirt and a beautiful blouse. If I can look in the mirror and see a girl smiling back at me, it makes me happy. But it makes me much happier when I see others looking at me, talking to me, and accepting me as a woman.
At the same time, I can control when and where I do it, and how often. So while the need is there, and the act of going out into the world en-femme is definitely emotionally satisfying and pleasant, I can put off doing it for weeks at a time, if I simply don't have anywhere appropriate that I want to go as a lady, or if funds are tight and I should stay home rather than spend money while going out. I'm spending almost all my 'social time' as a woman now. I try to get out at least once or twice a week. If I am planning to go out for an evening to have fun with others, I almost always do it as a lady. If I am going to a movie or out to dinner with my daughter. who fully accepts my female side, it's a toss up if I'll do it en-femme, or as my male side. My female aspect wins those outings slightly more often than not. The only social time that is male-dominated is when I am attending a family gathering with my sister or sisters-in law, who I am not out with as yet. I won't show up for Christmas or similar gatherings as a lady when they are expecting me as a guy.
Sometimes I just feel in the mood for a 'girly day, and I will spend all day as a woman, from the time I get out of bed and get dressed, to the time I call it a night and return to my male aspect prior to going to sleep. I may or may not go out on those days, or have any other 'special plans'. I might just walk my dog in my neighborhood while en-femme, or go to the gas station and grocery store. Or I might stay at home and do things on my computer. But usually, I'll try to do at least something that gets me out of the house on those days. That's my 'outlet' when I feel I haven't had enough 'girl time' in my life.
For me it's mostly a want but if I don't get to dress in awhile the desire to dress bottles up and becomes a need
I love Elizabeth G. quote in her response - "I wouldn't want to if I didn't need to" I don't know what it is but if society would just be more sensitive to it it would not be a problem for anyone.
For me, it's a need.
Is there a suitable analogy or comparison? I have friends who need their coffee and it seems to be a stronger need than my need to put on heels. But I suggest the relief of that first sip is not as great as when I put on a dress.
What about a vitamin deficiency? If I don't get enough vitamin D (not a lot of winter daylight hours in the Great White North) I have to use a happy light or vitamin supplements. Dresses have the same affect.
Not really, but I feel the need.
They/Them
I love dressing as a woman.
Sad to say if it was just a "want" I would have stopped a long time ago. There are so many lies and problems involved. I'm not saying it's all bad though. I am dressed now and I feel.... AMAZING! As always
I have been crossdressing for over fifty years, so it's certainly a long-term need. I couldn't crossdress for three years while in the Army, and I survived. And at other times not as long. At times during those periods, I wanted to crossdress, but couldn't and didn't.
Sometimes I want to dress, and sometimes I don't. So.....
Long term need. Short term want.
Hi Nicole may I ask did you join the Army in the hopes that it would "cure" you of being a CD?
I was in for 6 years hoping that it would "cure" me. But during those 6 years I found opportunities to dress and as soon as I got out I started dressing again.
No, Stephanie. I was quite undisciplined and was underperforming to my abilities in college. I needed to grow up, so I enlisted with the urging of my parents. After the Army, I went back to college and (finally) earned a BA at age 28. Of course, like most I served with, I constantly bitched about all the BS, but in hindsight, it was good for me.
As to denying myself hoping for a cure, three purges were my attemts to quit crossdressing. My final purge was in 1994. I finally accepted that I'm a crossdresser, and my best times as a CDer have been since then.
Ok thanks for answering. I was curious.
I NEED to, period.
Recent dictionary definitions of crossdress do not include a motive - just the act if wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. I think this is a mistake, because what follows is that a crossdresser is simply one who crossdresses. To me, crossdressers have that internal drive that compels us to crossdress, whereas Tootie and Mrs. Doubtfire put on disguises for external reasons. They crossdressed but weren't crossdressers. Non-crossdressers don't have that internsl drive.
I am not crossdressed at this time because I don't want to be, but I am a crossdresser because I have a need to crossdress. Just not now.
There is a bit of circular reasoning in this discussion:
I am a crossdresser because I wear the clothes. I wear the clothes because I am a crossdresser.
And:
You can't quit crossdressing. If you quit, you weren't really a crossdresser.
There is a thin line between need and want.
I would lean towards the need because sometimes after a long time or when I need to relax I really feel the urge. However, once a time I have the opportunity to dress for days in a row, but on the 3rd I didn't dress, I just didn't want to.
As I said the line is thin, crossdressing makes me happy and is always a pleasant time. Everybody wants to do things that make them happy. Being happy is a need or a "want" ? Excepted the burden of the secret to my girlfriend, crossdressing has no bad effects on me, does not hurt anyone, so...
Boys who dress as girls have more fun.
I'm w/ Acastina...I'm feminine to my core. So I am who I am regardless of how I physically present. And the fact remains that when my outer appearance doesn't present who I am inside I'm on edge with anger mixed with melancholy. When things are in alignment between inner and outer being I'm more content, even happy to an extent. But then again, and not surprisingly, I can only physically attain a feminine look to a degree. So, I'm still very envious when I see cis-girls being just who they are naturally and easily. So, I guess if I must simply answer the question, it's a need. But the need isn't yet fulfilled.
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
Anyone who feels compelled or feels a strong urge to do anything will feel they are experiencing a need, whereas we tend to think of wants as choices that we can do without. Active crossdressers do not feel as if the crossdressing is a choice.
I think your question would be best understood if it was between need vs urge, and not need vs want.
Reine
Need or want.... To me it seems as if we are really asking whether we have control over our crossdressing, or our crossdressing has control over us.
I've always liked to think that I was in control of my crossdressing, but that is only true to a point. I cannot stop enjoying crossdressing. I've stopped crossdressing for a 15 year period, but during that time I always wanted to crossdress. When I returned I was determined to keep it limited and under control. I can keep it limited, but I would really like to go all out, and go out in public.
So, I supposed my answer is if I am trying to keep myself happy, then I need to address crossdressing to some extent.
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