Let an amazing opportunity go

[Maria 60]

I had an unexpected dress weekend, on Saturday morning I was getting all girled up when I went to fill my bra. I'm still in water balloons stage and when I picked one up it broke in my hand and caused water everywhere. As I was cleaning up my wife asked me what other option I have concerning breast. I told her there are breast forms but are expensive for the amount of time I dress. She asked what do your friends on the community use, I told her I don't know and maybe I should ask.
She asked me if the crossdressing store we went to a few times had them, I told her they did. My wife had a few things to do and depending on her day maybe we would go later.
I went to that store a few times, the first time I bought my first heels and when I was about to try them on she asked me if I wanted a knee high, I told the sales lady I was already wearing pantyhose but I was embarrassed to remove my socks in front of her. She told me not to be shy and if anyone else comes in there they are here for the same reason as me. I did it and it was my first time I exposed myself to a stranger , the last time there I bought a wig and she told me the next time I go I should go fully dressed.
I told my wife if we go I want to go fully dressed, and she had no problem as long as I didn't leave the house dressed. My wife came home later in the day and asked if I want to go, but I could see she was tierd and told her to just relax and enjoy her day off.
Sunday morning she asked me again, I told her as much as this would be a dream come true and that because of her I'm already living in a dream I could have never imagined. I thought about it,and thought about it, and wanted so bad to do this, but decided not to. I told my wife when I told her about the dressing thirty plus years ago, she asked me if I could be happy in the closet. I told her I will keep to my promise even though I did walk out the door a few times and told her I won't put her threw this.
She told me there's usally parking ten steps from the front door and she would walk with me holding my hand and be with me every step of the way. I was flattered and a little watery eyed and told her it's a big risk I wasn't ready to take.
I think about it today and can't believe I wanted to do something so bad and when it finally came I thought it wasn't a good idea, it would have been amazing and on the same note I would have been paranoid that I would be outed. Kicking myself in the rear but believe I made the right decision. Thanks for listening and maybe next time I will have a " I did it story"

[Lana Mae]

Small steps! Little by little we move forward! Hugs Lana Mae

[Christina D]

First of all, kudos to your amazingly supportive wife!

Second, don't beat yourself up over being nervous. If you forced yourself to go in feeling anxious, you probably wouldn't have enjoyed the experience, so why force it? Go when you do feel ready and it'll be a much better experience.

For whatever reason, that day just didn't feel right and that's ok. With a wife as supportive as yours, I'm sure she'll be there to help you should you need her again next time. There's always a next time.

Finally, for what it's worth, I use two ziplock sandwhich bags filled about halfway with uncooked rice, squeeze the air out, shape them in a roughly triangular shape, and wrap them around in a single layer of paper towels. I wrap them in paper towels to avoid the plastic of the bags sticking to and irritating my skin. I find that I get a good amount of bounce out of them. :-)

[franlee]

Enjoy the trip and remember speeding could kill the journey. You have a great wife!

[Tracii G]

If she offers you should go no need to play the martyr.

[S. Lisa Smith]

You will pick the time that is right for you. Don't worry, you will be happy.

[Aunt Kelly]

Your first time doing something like that should be something you remember fondly. Don't get me wrong, the butterflies part of "the experience", but you don't want to be so crushed by fear that you can't enjoy it. You have the precious gift of a supportive SO, so there's no pressure from anyone but you. Take your time to work things out, and then enjoy the hell out it, girl.

About breast forms. You don't have to spend a lot to get something that beats the heck out of water balloons or bird seed. Check out Amazon. The Megularlo products, once they're stuffed in your bra, are amazingly realistic, and for around $30/pair (careful, some of their products are sold singly), it's hard to go wrong.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria, Wearing forms takes dressing to a whole new level of enjoyment.

Checkout www.janetscloset.com and watch the breast form videos,
I ordered a pair off forms and I had them in about five days they came
in a plain brown box with a return address of JCMI......

[Jaylyn]

Maria you have a sweetheart of a wife, take care of her she is precious. You did right by waiting till you are ready and if you never are then you can order them. I got mine from Glamour Boutique. The lady on the phone that I odered from was very helpful and we talked for about thirty minutes. She was friendly, and very helpful in helping me get the right size high heels also.

[Rachelakld]

Now wishing I had that someone special for my first time out.
However so glad I did go out.

[docrobbysherry]

Always double up your water balloons, Maria. Use the eraser end of a pencil to push one inside another.

I've said this over and over. Not all of us r into all the attention, good and bad, we get out dressed. I'm a closet dresser at heart because it's ALWAYS fun, never stressful, and I'm free to dress exactly as I like there!

[Karen RHT]

I really connected as I read your post Maria. As someone who doesn't get out frequently, I often ask myself the how, when, where, why questions before making a purchase I can readily afford to make and want to make. I also wrestled with myself over when I would be pushing my accepting wife farther than she is prepared to go. It took me awhile, but I now take her at her word when she tells me it's fine with her if I wear this, buy that, go here, or do that. There was a time I would have held back and denied myself an experience or a product using the same excuses you used.

After reading your post, I found myself agreeing with Tracii. With so much open and honest support from your wife, there's no need to play the martyr. You appear to be holding yourself back needlessly worrying about miniscule and extremely remote possibilities. I suspect you've gathered up the courage to face bigger and more daunting real world challenges in your daily life than what it would take to make that trip to the shop with your wife and buy what you really want to buy.

I'm not suggesting you throw caution to the wind, but am encouraging you to overcome your baseless fears, and treat yourself to a rewarding and liberating experience when you have the opportunity.


Karen

[RADER]

I had much the same thing happen to me many years ago.
But I did it, and I went alone; Did not want to embarrass my wife.
I did buy some forms, yes they where expensive, but over the many years of
steady use, they have paid for them selves.
When I got home, My Wife asked to show them to her, then she insisted that
I go try them on with a new Bra I recently picked up.
I came down stairs wearing my new forms, and a top, with jeans.
My wife said that I now look 1000% better, and should wear the forms every
time I dress.
Next week, My Wife ordered 2 tops, a dress, and 2 bras.
She said that I want to see you dressed when you come home from work,
and before dinner.
I was glad I got them.
Please treat yourself, you will be glad you did.
Rader

[Jenni Yumiko]

If going out or being seen causes anxiety, then it stops being fun and relaxing. Do what makes you comfortable!