This is my personal story. I hope it helps someone. I am a happily married, lifelong CD, and military veteran with a very supportive wife of many years with two grown daughters who also love and embrace Niki just as they do my male side. I have mentored many CD’s over the years about coming out to their SO’s and really enjoy it. Like many of you, I realized when I was young that I was different. I seemed to always hang out with the girls. Even playing football back then I found myself focused on the cheerleaders, not wanting date them but wanting to be them.
At 11 yro when I slid on Mom’s pantyhose for the first time, then put on her dress, looked in the mirror, and those feelings were instantly cemented into my core. At the same time, I started discovering my sexuality because let’s face it, if there wasn’t a sexual charge to this it wouldn’t be as much fun right? That’s when the struggle between my personal and public life began. Publically I was a great athlete and played all sports, hunted, fished, and had no problem attracting the girls. Privately, I enjoyed strutting around the house when nobody was home dressed and wondered why I loved it so much. When it came to dating, I was always attracted to girls who wore pantyhose, classy clothes, and perfect make up. I was always open about my attraction to their look especially pantyhose and those who played to it, I dated. Most seemed to be flattered by it but I was always too scared to tell them the real story.
Fast forward to my first marriage. She too loved pantyhose and after I told her I did, she told me to put them on for her. You can imagine the excitement! She loved them on me which was a huge relief. She then had me put on one of her dresses and the rest followed for several years. We had a sexually adventurous run together and one day, it was over. She said she couldn’t do it anymore and left. Devastated and scared to death she would expose me, I hit rock bottom. Thankfully she never did and I decided then and there that I was not ever going to withhold anything from my next prospective life partner.
When I met my current wife, I decided that I was going to show her rather than tell her first. I figured doing both at the same time would lessen wild thoughts of OMG OMG going through her mind. After many drinks on our second date, I confessed my true love for her and my affection for pantyhose and other fem things. She said “OMG I love pantyhose, I’ve been wearing them everyday since I was a teenager!” OMG WOW! We have something in common! I said, “Ok, I have something to show you. It’s a bit out of the ordinary, but I want you to open your mind, don’t judge, and whatever you do don’t laugh, ok?” She agreed. I went into the bathroom and changed into pantyhose and a dress (it was pretty basic back then), walked out and said, “Well here she is. I don’t really know who she is, but I know she’s inside of me and I want to learn more about her. Will you help me?” She was a bit stunned and said, “Well, I don’t quite understand it right now, but I know that I love you and if it’s a part of you, I want to help you. Let’s go to Wal mart and get you some make up.” BAM! I was on cloud 9!
Since then, it’s been an incredible journey together. She taught me how to apply make up, shop, walk in high heels, etc and has always protected me. When our daughters were teenagers, I showed them and told them at the same time, explaining why. I told them “Look, I am the same person underneath all of these clothes, make up, hair and heels. I’m not gay and don’t want a sex change, I just want to be open with you about this.” They both said we always knew you were different because most men aren’t as fond of female things like you are and we love you regardless.” Since then we enjoy girls days together and they have really helped me perfect my look and style. My wife and I have been out a few times and I have many CD and TG friends, but mainly it’s an at home thing and I’m good with that. Niki has gone from the immature Girl to a mature lady now because of the validation from my family and closest friends. Oh she still enjoys being naughty sometimes, but don’t we all
So the moral to my story is this, be open, prepare your explanation ahead of time, find something fem that you both adore together, reassure her that you are not going to stray even though you may have great admiration for other CD, TG, etc, and whatever you do don’t change your persona too much when you dress. She married the guy she fell in love with. Blend the two together and do it with discretion and good timing. If you can incorporate your fem side into your sexual relationship that’s even better. To us, the core of your relationship is in the bedroom. If you don’t share common interests there, then where does the happiness come from? Find common ground and build on it. Pantyhose sex is the best btwLOL
You have to put yourself in her heels. My wife and girls are my heroes and I tell them that all the time. You would be scared to death too if she came home with a girl and said, “Honey, this is Mary and we’ve been in love for years now and I just wanted you to know, but I still love you.” Ya, you’d freak out too. Ease her into into it before you confess and do it with courage, style, and humility. Oh, one last thing. We tend to get a selfish when in girl mode, or at least I do. Be cognizant of that and involve her in your experience. Role playing is fun and that’s a great way to help her escape the reality of it all until she becomes really comfortable. It will strengthen your relationship make for two very happy girls. I am always available on yahoo chat if anyone needs help and support. Good luck and keep smiling.
XOXOX
Niki
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, Thanks for sharing your wonderful story...
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Originally Posted by Samm
