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Thread: My BFF came out to me today.... I'm in AWE....

  1. #26
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Wow how lucky are you!! makes you wonder if deep down you both sensed something in each other that added to the friendship.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  2. #27
    New Girl to the PNW raeleen's Avatar
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    I sometimes think that the folks we are drawn to, those who we are closest with, will have unexpected commonalities and tendencies as us, and that's why we're drawn to them and connect with them. Obviously this isn't necessarily always true, but our friends are our friends for a reason.

    Good luck on this journey with your friend, Amy. I think it's awesome that both you and she have this newfound support system and a way for both of you to be your total and true authentic selves with each other.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    I see our friendship growing to new levels this year. It is amazing that's for sure. Thanks for all of the kind words.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  4. #29
    Junior Member Jennifer Michelle's Avatar
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    Your story is pretty amazing and it seems like your friend just gained a really great ally in you. It also makes me wonder if I've ever known another crossdresser or transgender person in my life and just never realized it. It's definitely thought provoking

  5. #30
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Amazing story Amy,

    Best wishes to you and your friend. If you were close before I am betting you are closer now.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  6. #31
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Your bbf is a very lucky girl. I think he has a big load of support needed. I'd love to have a bbf who also dresses.
    Angie

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Michelle View Post
    Your story is pretty amazing and it seems like your friend just gained a really great ally in you. It also makes me wonder if I've ever known another crossdresser or transgender person in my life and just never realized it. It's definitely thought provoking
    I have always been told that everyone knows at least one. It really does make you wonder how many of us there are out there.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member Dana921's Avatar
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    Congratulations on getting together and sharing another part of your life with your BFF!

    As a side note, I knew two of the three brothers who did not know about each other until they were in their late 50's! Both were very surprised!

    Dana
    [SIZE="3"]Dana Rachael Stevens

    The person I have always wanted to be, is within me!
    [/SIZE]

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    ok... I definitely need the advice of you wonderful ladies on here. I've been talking with my friend about her transition and coming out to me and all... I have to say I'm a lot concerned about her. She still has not picked out a name. Nor has she ever left the house dressed. She flat out refuses to talk to a therapist or counselor about her gender dysphoria. However, she is adamant about taking hormones and is going to get them via the black market on the good 'ol internet . I am so against her doing this. It is such a HUGE mistake. To me she seems like she is riding high in the pink fog and has the pedal buried to the floor boards.

    Coming out to me was a huge deal to her. How will it be if she goes through and has boobs. You can't hide them as easily. I know she is not ready for that.

    Her wife was having issues with her monthly cycles and the doctor prescribed hormones for her to take to put her into menopause for a short time to help relive her symptoms and what not. I'm no doctor and don't know all of the nit grit details of her diagnosis. I just know that she had left over hormones, and my friend took them. Apparently very little happened over the course of those pills. But this still scares me.

    I know there are risks of blood clots, and erectile dysfunction and possible liver problems with taking hormones. I'm really trying to get my friend to think about these consequences and at least talk with a doctor. At the very least have a doctor prescribe them and monitor her for issues.

    Are there any suggestions here?
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  10. #35
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    I am no expert here, but two things are alarming. Never been out of the house dressed? Wow!

    Not seen a therapist? Again, wow!

    Getting anything via the "black market" is a disaster waiting to happen. Your friend is in real trouble.
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
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  11. #36
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Amy,
    You are absolutely right to be concerned. I agree with Kandi, but instead of using the word Disaster, I would say it is a Tragedy waiting to happen.

    Try very hard to get your friend to talk to a doctor or therapist and stay far away from street hormones or left overs.

    - Suzie

  12. #37
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    Hi Amy, Welcome back, That was an amazing wonderful story,

    Please do keep us all advised.......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  13. #38
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    That is my goal. I want her to be safe with her transition. This really does worry me. I'm thinking of how to talk to her without making it sound like I'm attacking her. The last thing I would want is to sound like I am not supportive.

  14. #39
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    your friend needs more than a friend now, they need professional help, do not play doctor, we all know what happens when you self medicate, please, please, please, try to drill this into her....nobody wants to see an "i told you so" scenario....just because you can work around it with the interweb does not make it safe !!!
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  15. #40
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Wow. I don't really know what to say other than to concur with Mikell. The path your BFF is on is fraught with peril, medically and emotionally. She seems... conflicted, believing she wants something so badly that nothing else, not even the many risks involved, matters. You are her best friend. Maybe bank on that to address her potentially destructive path. I mean, were I in your place, I'd be pleading with her to be more careful.

    Here's hoping you find a way, Amy.

    Hugs,


    Kelly

  16. #41
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    Thanks all. I certainly won't try and play doctor, and I strongly advise that she doesn't either. I agree that this is a destructive path that is very dangerous. I think I'm going to have a heart to heart with her and her wife tomorrow evening. Even if that means she's going to be upset or mad at me. Its still better than the alternative.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  17. #42
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    You are being a good friend Amy! Good for you.

    - Suzie

  18. #43
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    First, you are right to advise caution and I wish you luck in your conversation. She needs help and supervision through this difficult transition.
    You talk of coincidence in knowing your BFF for all those years yet never sharing that you had so much in common.
    Many years ago I was in graduate school with two people who transitioned. I was a young transvestite in those days and very much in the closet. My first friend went through the transition when in grad school. The medical people he was working with had him live as a woman for at least a year before effecting the transition. She came to school dressed in female mode and I believe she was taking hormones under supervision at that time. It was a cautious approach but she went on to have a successful career. My second friend was deep in the closet until late in life and then came out and continues successfully in her career.
    We were a small group of students so it was remarkable that three of the group were TV/TG.
    Best wishes in helping your friend.

  19. #44
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    That's soooooooooo cool good for both of yous,this closet gets kinda lonely sometimes for me ....

  20. #45
    Member Sashauk's Avatar
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    Amy, I think you need to try to get your friend to realise that taking female hormones has little or no effect on a male that is producing normal levels of testosterone.

    As you said she has already taken some of her SO's left-over ones and nothing happened. Not only would she have to get female hormones but also testosterone blockers which would be a hugely dangerous cocktail. I really hope you can persuade her to seek proper medical advice if she is determined to go down that route.
    Sasha

  21. #46
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Becky Blue View Post
    Wow how lucky are you!! makes you wonder if deep down you both sensed something in each other that added to the friendship.
    i have frequently wondered this about many of my friends.

    Amy, maybe a different tactic is necessary. If your friend is so adamant about transitioning, then what do they have to lose by seeing a therapist? It will make getting meds easier and cheaper, and, and maybe, just maybe, they will gain further insight into their feelings. I understand your friends certainty and apparent confidence to transitioning, but I only see upside in seeing a therapist, if I were in their heels.

    I doubt the time frame will change, and it might even be quicker because of being able to get o the optimum dosage levels by having regular blood tests, not to mention the inherent risks by doing it blind.

    bottom line is that they might reach their objectives quicker or at least safer and cheaper, AND learn something in the process. Sounds like win-win to me.
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  22. #47
    Junior Member ElleStreet's Avatar
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    Amy- now I'm not advocating self medicating but I'll try to give another perspective than 'self medicating is the worst thing you can do'.

    I'm a part of another forum where self medicating is fairly common, there are a lot of transgirls there who, for some reason or another, have self medicated and with no problems throughout their entire transition. Why would they do that? There's a couple common reasons,

    First there are people with no access to proper channels, either their environment is very hostile or their entire country is, so self medding is the best/only option they have

    Then there's the time sensitive nature of transitioning, a lot of these people are teens and have been told to wait crazy amounts of time for even a first consultation (as in 6 months to a year most commonly) this is at a point in their lives (adolescence) when a year can be the difference between being naturally feminine to developing masculine characteristics, for someone who knows the want to live as a woman this can feel like 'enforced masculinization' hindering their chances at passing later in life which they view as an injustice

    Another factor, I think, is the knock on effect of having all of these tgirls who have selfmedded successfully (I've yet to read of an accident or regret) these transgirls see a sucessful transition method and a solution to the problems that would be caused by going the proper way about transitioning and latch onto it as some kind of miracle

    The medical problems do become more pronounced depending on age and physical activity/health. So please caution your friend if he's middle aged or sedentary.

    As far as your friend is concerned, I think he either wants to just start transition asap or avoid having to talk to an outsider about his gender problems (but unsatisfactory reasons as far as I'm concerned but people aren't always logical).

    All in all, I don't think your friend should do this (especially not so hastily). But try find out her reasons for wanting to go black market before completely dismissing them
    Last edited by ElleStreet; 01-13-2017 at 10:14 AM.

  23. #48
    Aspiring Member Amy R Lynn's Avatar
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    I will definitely take those into consideration. Thank you for the advice. I'm really trying to be supportive. I just don't want to see her hurt herself or compromise her health.
    "Oh my God, I realized, it's not that we're screwed up; it's just that we've been trained to thnk so."
    ~Rick Novic, Alice in Genderland

  24. #49
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sashauk View Post
    Amy, I think you need to try to get your friend to realise that taking female hormones has little or no effect on a male that is producing normal levels of testosterone.
    I DO NOT ADVOCATE anyone to go the self medicating route.

    But that is not true. My partner and I only took female hormones (no anti-T in the mid 70s), for about 2 years and they definitely had effects. Can not remember the levels we took, but would not put those out here if I knew. Of course after SRS they had much more effects to go.
    Without any others to confirm or deny what was done in the mid 70s, that is my life.

  25. #50
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Amy Please tell your friend not to take hormones.

    (they are not suitable for everyone and it is not a requirement to take them).

    Some doctors will flatly refuse to treat anyone self medicating.

    Before anyone gets hormones the doctor wants to know base levels, which they can not do if the person self medicating.

    Please tell your friend to go through the correct people, Therapists etc.

    They are there for a very good reason.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 01-13-2017 at 03:44 PM.
    Shelly

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