I found happiness in this journey, it wasn't in a bottle of vodka nor hiding in ever-worsening depression or rule-based conformity. No, it required honesty and truth. From there is where I started truly living, thriving and understanding what faith really means.
And a word to those starting this journey, you will unpack other deep issues in your life that have never been dealt with. Unnpack them, master them, move on. Don't be afraid of what you have buried over the years, the quicker you deal with the suddenly unearthed deeper issues, the quicker you will find yourself, and find peace with yourself.
Be yourself, don't settle for less.