So Sad!!!

[Vicky_Scot]

Most people see a New Year the opportunity to make plans and set goals for the year ahead. For some it seems its to much to take.

I was informed through someone who does not know that I dress that someone they know had to go and recover a body of someone who had unfortunately taken their own life. This was sad enough but they were informed the person concerned was a male but was dressed en-femme when they took their life.

I could not sleep thinking about the poor soul who decided that life was for some reason was not worth living. Maybe the burden of their dressing was too much, maybe they had no one to talk to about things, who knows.

I just hope they are in a better place now and can be who they truly are.

So sad!!!!

[Leslie Langford]

Yes, very sad indeed, but it would be instructive to know what the demeanour of the person(s) doing the reporting - both first- and second-hand - was with regard to the surprise they experienced when seeing the deceased in this way.

Was it derisive, judgemental and dismissive, or sympathetic to the presumed plight of the deceased over this part of themselves, with more concern over the fact of the death itself as opposed to the unusual circumstances surrounding it?

If the former, that would go a long way towards explaining why the deceased did what they felt they had to...assuming, of course, that their crossdressing secret had become too much for them to bear.

[Joni T]

Thou shalt not kill. That includes taking one's own life. A life is a life and if you take your own, it's too late to ask for forgiveness. If you aren't forgiven, you'll not be in a better place.
Jon

[TrishaTX]

Yes sad, my guess is some sort of non acceptance ...which is awful. The world needs to stop worry about stuff like this when there are much larger issues in the world.

[PamelaRI]

Very sad indeed. My deepest sympathies to those impacted by this terrible loss.

[Lana Mae]

Unfortunately, the suicide rate for trans folk is much higher than the general population! So is the depression rate. All because society just can not seem to get its act together! Sad! Hugs Lana Mae

[windshear]

All because society just can not seem to get its act together!

I take issue with this attitude as it gives license to future cases- suicide is a choice. Do not rob someone the ownership and responsibility of their last acts, it is dehumanizing and cruel. True kindness sometimes involves not being nice.

I agree, it is sad. Things may have ended differently if someone had reached out to them, but then again- it may have not. Human beings have free will.

[Tracii G]

Windshear its sad that suicide to some seems much easier than living does but like you said it is their choice and it would be wrong of someone to intervene and prolong the pain the person is going thru.

[Micki_Finn]

Thou shalt not kill. That includes taking one's own life. A life is a life and if you take your own, it's too late to ask for forgiveness. If you aren't forgiven, you'll not be in a better place.
Jon

Not every culture feels this way.

[SarahSerene]

Not every culture feels this way.

Thank you and I agree. Skirting very close to crossing religious boundaries here, but I once had a discussion on this with someone with a background in theology, and learned that declaring suicides to be condemned for eternity was a strategy to discourage martrydom that at the time was happening in protest against organized religion. In otherwords, declaring them condemned was a man-made construct to satisfy political goals.

[Angela010]

Suicide does not stop the pain. It passes that pain onto every person who cares for you.
They must talk. If the first person they talk to doesn't understand, talk to someone else. Keep going!
I'm so sick of beautiful people dying simply through a perceived lack of support.

[docrobbysherry]

It's NOT sad, it's tragic! That more half of all trans have either tried or contemplated suicide.

We must not allow the gains we've made the last couple of years to dissolve easily away. Vanilla people must be made to understand that trans r no threat to them. And, that their unfounded fears r hurting, even killing, some lovely individuals!

[Krisi]

It is indeed sad when someone feels bad enough about his or her life that they think ending it is the best way out. I have two different friends from my younger years who took that way out. Friends I hadn't seen for many years but still you have to wonder what was so bad that it couldn't be fixed.

[Jenny22]

In my much younger days when society and families were non-accepting of our needs, I wondered if I might choose the suicide option, if cruely outed by someone, just to end it all. I'm guessing that some others here might once have had the same thought. But I decided. NO WAY! Its truely sad that some of our ilk did chose that option. I recently read somewhere that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", so keep this in mind, if the thought ever crosses your mind. If the thought is really serious, get help immediately.

[Lorileah]

"Suicide is a choice" Wow, that must come from someone who has never been associated with any group or person who has contemplated this. Amazing. It shows me also that you have never been in a situation where you have truly contemplated suicide. Have you ever been in any situation where you felt there were NO options? That suicide was the ONLY way things would be right in your mind? Trust me, in many cases for the victim it isn't a choice, it is the final and definitive move.

I know many here seem to believe that being transgendered is something you can control, that you can outgrow, that you do because you "want" to do it. While this may be true for some of you (and yet you come here instead of controlling, outgrowing or putting it aside) it isn't for a vast majority. As noted over half the trans teens will contemplate suicide. 40% will attempt it. That is far higher than non trans kids (about 1-5%). When you don't see options, or no one gives you support, it isn't a decision. It is the only out. It is what you have left after you have exhausted your options. I volunteer for a group who works hard to allow options,but we don't always succeed.

Amazing how people know all the answers to everyone else's situation. I hope you NEVER have to respond to someone who took that "choice".

To the OP, I am so sorry for your loss., Please contact a local Postvention* group in your area. You need support now too. I am glad you chose to reach out here.

*A postvention is an intervention conducted after a suicide, largely taking the form of support for the bereaved (family, friends, professionals and peers). Family and friends of the suicide victim may be at increased risk of suicide themselves.

[Lana Mae]

Yes, society is so full of hatred and bigotry that some people see no other way than suicide. Acceptance and tolerance would go a long way in driving down the trans suicide rate! Although, many bigots are not giving the trans folks many options they are just murdering them! IMHO Lana Mae Got my self so upset I forgot my hug! Hugs

[Dana44]

It is sad to see one go like that. I knew some who have done it. And The question that always arises is why. However, maybe she was in a bad place and no one to talk to.

[Georgette_USA]

I am sorry that someone in this day and age had to do that. Suicide affects not just that one but all around.

I can remember when I was around 13. About the time I was caught by police and parents came to get me. As part of the release I had to see a Psychiatrist for the first time, can't remember how many visits. I was already a smart-ass cynical kid, and learned to give others what I thought they wanted to hear.

I can remember feeling so alone, and not able to really talk about it. I had feelings of, kill myself, that would show everyone and make them feel my pain. Luckily I was able to repress that down for many years. But it didn't stop me from being very secretive.

Had to see a Psychiatrist when in military around 1972/73 after being outed as a CD, but I shrugged it off as just simple playing dress up (No offense to any here). Both the Psychiatrist and the security people had no problem with that, they were only interested in any homo-sexual activity.

I was able to talk about it many years later in 1975, when I had to see a Psychiatrist for my letter for HRT and to send to doctors for SRS.