My office has the practice that when someone leaves the company either for a new job or retirement that those interested meet in a local restaurant to say goodbye.
This is my dream, not to say that it would really happen but it’s a nice dream.
I get myself all dressed up, and look as pretty as any 66 year woman has the right to look, and go to the restaurant where the retirement lunch is taking place. I find the table where all my coworkers are, waiting for me to show up.
Me (in my girl voice): Is this the retirement lunch for <my boy name>?
After receiving acknowledgement, I sit down and make small talk with my coworkers, who I hope don’t recognize me.
After a while:
Me (GV): Where is <my boy name> anyhow? Maybe somebody should call him.
My boss calls me.
My phone rings. The ring tone is Shania Twain singing, “Man, I feel like a woman. Oh Oh.”
I take my phone out of my purse and look at it.
Me (in my boy voice): Hello. Yes, this is <my boy name>. Yes, I’m there now.
I hope by now that everyone’s jaw has dropped. I look around the table.
Me (BV): What (acting surprised)? I’ve been hiding the girl inside of me for over 55 years. For once, I wanted to let the girl out and hide the boy inside.
Everyone gives me a big round of applause.