Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 90

Thread: If you don't think you are passable

  1. #1
    Junior Member Jennifer Michelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    I split my time between going to School in North Chicago, but I am originally from Indiana
    Posts
    31

    If you don't think you are passable

    I was wondering and I have no real objective evidence of this to confirm how passable I am, but do you ladies think its a bad idea to go out if you don't consider yourself passable even when fully dressed and done up?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7,444
    I guess that question is best answered by each individual being themselves. I really haven't seen too many CDs that are truelly passable. There's always something that's a tell tale. Sometimes I think maybe we are only passable in our own minds.

  3. #3
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    s.nj near Berlin
    Posts
    3,198
    No. Expressing yourself in clothing and appearance is a right for all people, if your not doing anything illegal why hide yourself. If we(gender variant)are not seen than how can we expect to be accepted. Out of sight out of mind is not in our favor.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    Posts
    5,589
    The only CDs who I have seen here and these are pictures of course which can distort are those 40 or younger, but as said
    most of us do not pass 100 percent I just want to blend and for me I'm happy with that if someone really can't tell when I walk by all the better, but pass most likely not

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    162
    Quote Originally Posted by Allisa View Post
    If we(gender variant)are not seen than how can we expect to be accepted. Out of sight out of mind is not in our favor.
    Does this philosophy mean that it is better to not be passable so that others will notice?

  6. #6
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,799
    Presentable is a better word than passable. If you want to be noticed you can do it as a GG would. Look good, look like you belong.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  7. #7
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Myrtle Beach SC
    Posts
    2,231
    I don't think I pass but I do blend in, dress nice and my make up is natural. I've been told that I pass by many people and take it as a compliment.

  8. #8
    its important mykell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    jer-sea shore
    Posts
    4,097
    Quote Originally Posted by Allisa View Post
    No. Expressing yourself in clothing and appearance is a right for all people, if your not doing anything illegal why hide yourself. If we(gender variant)are not seen than how can we expect to be accepted. Out of sight out of mind is not in our favor.

    this is the reality we face, it comes with sacrifices both positive and negative, each of us has to find the balance we can live with....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    191
    I obviously don't pass, but, I go out dressed, however, I wear clothing that isn't obviously women's clothing when I am out and about and I have nail varnish on.

  10. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    162
    I have read that it is not a good idea to smile, look at, or acknowledge another crossdresser in public. So if you see one that is not passable only let others notice them, keep your head down and mind your own business.

  11. #11
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    Billy, I think that's an interpretation of the statements that you've seen. What those statements were insinuating is that it is So Not cool to "make" "out" or "clock" a Sistah. You can always be polite and if appropriate, compliment. Just don't go out of your way to make it clear you know or think they are TG or CD. And don't assume they want to hear your story either.

    I know it's tough, because your excited and want to share, but it's like your little sister wanting to tag along.

    Oh and I like that Presentable! Have to remember that. Maybe tomorrow's word of the day.
    Last edited by Meghan4now; 01-13-2017 at 06:45 PM.

  12. #12
    Junior Member PeggyNell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Athens, Georgia
    Posts
    57
    I know I can't "pass" but like Lorileah said, presentable is the way I want to be. I have only been to drag shows where I don't have to pass. I do want to be able to go out with my GG friend and not to turn too many heads. But as long as I am being ture to myself and doing what feels good to me. I really don't care if I am "passable"

  13. #13
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,335
    No. I have written this a hundred times by now but it's a virtual impossibility that ANY cross dresser can pass as a genetic woman. We're just built so differently and we've learned throughout our lives to recognize the subtle differences between the sexes that passing is a fantasy.

    I do not pass. I go out. Head up, shoulders back and meeting others eye to eye. I dress for the time, location and event and present as best I can. That is all anyone can do.

  14. #14
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    ne pa
    Posts
    2,740
    Passing and going out are two different issues. As for myself, I do go out because I want to, passing is irrelevant. I try to dress well, maybe a little bit nicer that I need to, considering where I am going.
    I guess I do okay in that people who know me, but see me for the first time don't always recognize me at first. That doesn't mean I pass but at least I look acceptable enough to create doubt at first.
    I will never tell anyone that they need to venture out, that is their own decision. But as for myself, I enjoy it and I do own up to it. I have found that most people are ok with it and I have had many conversations with the other people at the church that I attend as Nikki. Confidence and friendliness are the key ingredients in a successful outing.

  15. #15
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    No. I have written this a hundred times by now but it's a virtual impossibility that ANY cross dresser can pass as a genetic woman. We're just built so differently and we've learned throughout our lives to recognize the subtle differences between the sexes that passing is a fantasy.

    I do not pass. I go out. Head up, shoulders back and meeting others eye to eye. I dress for the time, location and event and present as best I can. That is all anyone can do.
    This exactly.
    I Know its hard for some to understand that passing is not the end all be all in our world.
    Most of us don't pass but blend and thats the best we can do.

    Billy I have to wonder where you come up with these comments.
    Making eye contact or a smile is OK and keeping your head down is about the worst thing you can do.
    You seem to have this preconceived notion on things that are quite incorrect.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 01-13-2017 at 08:24 PM.

  16. #16
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,335
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    ... So if you see one <CD> that is not passable ...
    So if you see a cross dresser that IS passable, how did you know?

  17. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    162
    I would not know. How would you? Are we talking about shoulder width, head size, finger length? Some here say there are none that are passable.
    Last edited by Nigella; 01-15-2017 at 03:28 PM. Reason: Irrelevant to the thread

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,843
    I can't pass and try to avoid going out to vanilla venues dressed. If u don't pass, u will be noticed and receive extra attention. Both good and bad!

    T's ask if they passed after they've been out? I tell them if they aren't sure? They PASSED! Because when u don't pass? U sure as heck will know!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    So if you see a cross dresser that IS passable, how did you know?
    Because I was with them? U go out alone, Jenn, I don't.
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 01-13-2017 at 11:30 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    Junior Member ElleStreet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    59
    Billy- I think Jennifer is saying that, by definition, if you see a passable crossdresser in public. You wouldn't know that it was a crossdresser. But drs has a point that you could know them I guess

    D.R.S.
    I I think depending on the place sometimes non-passable people are treated normally (or ignored bit not in an inherently negative way) so it's possible to not pass and not really know imo. But it does show the extent to which you don't pass as the worse/more obvious you look, the more likely you are to garner negative attention (but that could be in part due to how much your outfit stands out too)
    Last edited by Nigella; 01-15-2017 at 03:29 PM. Reason: Referenced to topic has been removed

  20. #20
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Down River Detroit
    Posts
    1,686
    I agree with others you don't pass you blend.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  21. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    162
    In Post 13 Jennifer says they are not passable. I do understand if there was such a thing as a passable CD they would obviously not be noticed.
    Last edited by Nigella; 01-15-2017 at 03:30 PM. Reason: Already received a PM regarding MO

  22. #22
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Keller texas
    Posts
    1,239
    I am 219 pounds so I doubt I am passable, but I do my best and yes I go out. I do my best to be me and that is what I am ..lol

    and what Jennifer said...
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  23. #23
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Puyallup, WA (USA)
    Posts
    4,605
    I say it depends on the individual; no real definitive answer as a whole.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  24. #24
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Kandi's Land!
    Posts
    2,610
    Go out as long as you are smart about it and dressed appropriately (for your age, for the time of day, for the place you are going to). No, you will not "pass" (there are many, many threads and comments to explain why). I go out ALL the time and I NEVER pass. But I dress very nicely and I do the single most important thing you can do to get around, I smile. Never a single negative experience.
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

  25. #25
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,053
    I absolutely don't pass, and I don't try to. When I want to go out, I put together the best looking, most tasteful and appropriate outfit I can manage then get out there and own it. Of course, people notice. I see heads turning all the time. Some can be seen whispering to whoever they're with. I hope their reaction, after the inevitable "What the heck?" is something like, "He actually makes it work". But I have no control over that. The only comments I ever get are compliments from some women. Nothing negative and nothing from men. Ever.

    The only statement I really want to make is "This is who I am and I have a right to be dressed this way." But I feel that, being so highly visible, I have a responsibility to show the public that my way is not a threat to anything, thus making it a bit easier for the next CD to safely and confidently make an appearance.

    How anyone else presents and handles themselves is their own business, as everyone has their own criteria and constraints. All I say is "The more of us out there the better for us all"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State