getting that urge again

[somestimeskaren]

When I was married my wife was supportive of my dressing.It was limited to the bedroom and that was fine.She didn't freak out and I got to dress.It didn't go as far as I would have liked which was makeup,wig the works.I could wear stockings,garter,panties and heels.I took what I could get and was thankful.After our split I let Karen out and she is having a great time.Sex is no longer a part of my dressing,I just enjoy letting my femme side out,sitting around all dolled up.I feel more and more the urge to share this side of my life with my daughter.I'd like to tell her about Karen but not actually letting her meet Karen.Of course that meeting would depend on her reaction.I can see her either saying " yes I want to meet Karen" or"It's O.K. dad I still love you but I have no desire to meet Karen".I am positive she will love me no matter what.I hope this is the year I find the courage to get this off my chest.Thankful I found this forum.

[Jaylyn]

Why do you want to tell your daughter are you scared she w,I'll find out somewhere else. Why would your dressing be a burden upon your chest that you feel you need to get off your chest. If you can dress all you want now why even possibly make waves?

[Billy]

I just told my college age son. I don't like burdens. I would tell everyone but for now my wife doesn't want the public to know.

[Julie MA]

Wanting to share this part of you can be strong, but isn't always necessary, and may not help anyone.

[StephanieM]

I agree Julie. I believe it comes from us not wanting to hide it anymore, and allow ourselves to be ourselves. We also have to balance that with if it will harm a relationship we should probably keep it to ourselves. It's tough but I believe it's up to each of us individually to decide who knows.

Good idea Karen, to allow her to decide if she wants to see dad in a dress or not. I believe disclosing it and letting her decide her comfort level is the best way to go. Who knows maybe she'll end up wanting to go shopping with you.

[Billy]

If you feel there is nothing wrong with what you are doing why would you ever want the burden of hiding it? When I first read this I thought maybe age of the child might be a consideration, but why would it be? We teach our children to accept others. It took a long time to realize that at this point in my life, I don't have any need to hide who I am. I think if I had that attitude when I was young I would have lived a richer fuller life. I tell my children often that if someone rejects them it is the other person's loss.

[Stephanie47]

I read your post and then checked your age....64. I'm guessing your daughter is of an age where she can absorb the information. If you do then you have also burdened her with your secret. Then comes questions racy through her mind. Did mom know? Was cross dressing the cause of a divorce ( I am am assuming there was a divorce). I guess my point is "What purpose does revealing yourself serve?" Of course you may not want to hide your cross dressing anymore. Why not go to the neighorhood July 4th BBQ in a nice sundress, heels, makeup and wig if you want to 'share' this side of you?

[AllieSF]

I agree with Stephanie, if your daughter is over the age of majority, 18 to 21. She can be independent and you have the right to be honest with her, independent of what your ex may think. Now having the right and exercising said right are two different things. Another way of saying that is that there is a time and place for everything. You know your family relationship details and it is not our responsibility to say yes or no. However, we will express opinions. Mine is, if she is old enough, independent legally from both of you, even though she may depend financially or housing wise with one or the other, you can analyze potential consequences of what you want to do, and hopefully decide correctly what is best for her and you and .... everyone else. Good luck.

[Rachelakld]

My daughters lend me make up and give me hints (from their hundreds of hours of watching youtube tutorials).
I hope it goes as well for you.

[PeggyNell]

Karen, thank you for sharing, I want to tell my daughter to. I do hope it goes well. I also think that she will say that she will always love me, but I don't want to see you dressed. I think I understand where you are coming from. I am divorced with a daughter as well. But my ex doses not know, and my daughter is 10. Sooo, there is issue. I am not keeping it a secret any more, but I am not shouting it off the roof tops either. My parents and a handful of friends know, and I have been so blessed to have had all positive reactions. I have read on this forum about the age being a issue. It is a big concern of mine to because it directly affect our lives. The age of the child I do believe makes the difference. On one hand if she is told later in life "the secret" she can feel like you didn't trust her and she will feel betrayed. If she is told too early she may not understand the importance of not taking about it around others. This is where I am. I will have to wait a few more years to tell her, she doesn't know how cruel the world can be yet.

[Lana Mae]

I do not know your daughter's age or family details, but you know your situation better than we do! I had to tell my daughter as we live in the same house. It went well but she does not want to see daddy in a dress! She is fine with pictures but not seeing daddy in a dress! She is accepting and wants daddy to be happy. Note that she is 35. Best wishes on your situation. Hugs Lana Mae

[KitCat]

Best of luck Karen!

[Sandra]

If and when you tell her just remember that it is not fair to ask her to keep your secret, especially if she needs someone to chat with eg her close friend. It's not fair to put extra weight on her shoulders and have it lifted off yours.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for that post, Sandra. I was just about to say, unless u r planning on coming out of the closet, why tell anyone?

It puts a burden on them to keep your secret. I believe telling folks on a "need to know" basis. Like Lana Mae, my college age daughter who lives with me nearly caught me a number of times! I had to tell her for both our sakes. Which required telling my ex and grown daughter. Quite a few times one or the other has asked permission to tell another family member, friend, or boyfriend. So, I know keeping my secret is a burden.

Unless you're planning on coming out, telling folks who don't live with u and then asking them to keep your secret may not be fair!

[Majella St Gerard]

Everyone says "just be yourself " unless you're a crossdresser it seems. If you are comfortable with yourself and don't care who knows, whats the big deal wirh telling people? The people closest to you should know if you want to live your life on your terms. If they don't like it too bad for them. I don't care who knows, my adult son, step children, grandchildren, brother, sister, father, step mom, aunts, uncles and cousins all know and accept me as I am. The only burden is the one in your own head and of the Debbie Downers out there.