finally happened

[Mollyanne]

I knew that I would be found out eventually. My daughter(age 53 yrs old) came over to my house yesterday morning and just walked in. She does this at times and knows she doesn't have to call prior or to knock. I was at my desk fully dressed without makeup and hair., from the corned of my eye I saw her coming in the front door and tried to make a very hasty exit into the bathroom but I observed that she saw me. I have hidden this "desire" of mine for nearly 60 some odd years only to be "caught" 3 or 4 times in my life. I'm just waiting for her to say something about seeing me so I can tell her. The problem (as I see it) is that she has said many distasteful things about LBGT community. She considers x-dressers mentally sick, gay/lesbian individuals an abomination and is totally against the civil rights protection granted under law.

My wife is well aware that I dress as a woman but is not happy about it. I can understand and accept her position and try NOT to "get in her face about what I do". The daughter on the other hand is very negative. In a way, I'm relieved that this has happened because sooner or later it was going to. My daughter can either accept the fact that this is what I do or not, I am prepared for whatever the outcome.

Mollyanne

[Julie MA]

Mollyanne, your last sentence sums it up. Julie

[GretchenM]

I agree with Julie. That last sentence is the foundation of being able to cope in such a binary world where crossing boundaries is considered a cardinal sin by some or at least pretty creepy by others. I think it is important to point out to her that you are very much the same person and still good old dad no matter how you are dressed or even if you are dressed. Clothes don't make the person; they express the person inside the clothes. In the meantime, it may get a little rough. Revelations like this take some time for others to work out. But I believe, if your relationship was good before the discovery, after some time, it will be good again. It is a learning experience for her and just might cause a shift in her attitudes - that is dad to dad advice. Take it slow and easy, be sympathetic and compassionate and considerate of her feelings. Show her pleasant glimpses of the feminine in you, but don't ignore the masculine. Show her both can exist in the same body. Most likely, she will get it - in time.

Gretchen

[Anne K]

I agree with Julie. It's your life, live it without fear.

[Tracy Irving]

While reading your post I got the feeling you wanted to or at least didn't mind getting caught. It is quite possible that she will say nothing. If your clothing was jeans and a blouse she might not have even noticed. She didn't walk into the house wondering what you were wearing. Either way, I hope everything works out for you with your daughter.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, Mollyanne. Unfortunately, these kind of things just go with the territory. My Daughter, the snowflake that she is, thinks my CD'ing is just another thing that makes me awesome. Not so much my wife. And they're the only family or friend that know about my other self. Wife doesn't even know my girl name. So, when I talk to other friends or family and they start the rumble of hater speak I just politely say that someone very close to me is transgender and they're spew is inappropriate. And, although I'm primarily heterosexual, I don't tolerate any moronic talk about gay people. My 'born again' best friend keeps the filth speak to himself anymore but, I think I'll ask him what his point of view would be if someone close to him was trans or gay. Should be interesting.

[Genny B]

My daughter walked in on my once when I was watching a t.v. show about a transgender teen. My daughter made a comment about she didn't understand how I could watch such things and I thought to myself, well I guess she'll never know the real me. About a year later I learned that all my children knew about me and I was surprised. I later learned that it was the same daughter who found me out and shared it with the others. She was also the last one I approached about the issue and I then learned that her biggest issue with it was that I kept it from her. I then explained why going back to that day she walked in on me watching the television. She stated that was different, that was about someone else, not me. I don't understand that answer but I can say she fully supports me. I don't think she fully understands as she is always recommending stores to me that are on the kinky side, but at least we talk to each other! LOL. Good luck!

Genny B

[Judy-Somthing]

Well I hope things work out for the best.

When my wife found my 4" heels four weeks ago and freaked, she said I better not let the kids find out.
She said they're not as opened minded about that kind of STUFF.

[Stephanie47]

I've contemplated many times what my response would be if either my son or daughter walked in on me when I was en femme. "I've been doing this since I was a teenager. Does this in some way negate the type of father I have been for you?" Assuming you have been a great dad why would his or her view of you change because you like to emulate a woman some time. There's a difference between persons who do not understand why a person is a gay or lesbian, a transperson or a cross dresser, and, one who expresses disapproval in vile ways. I find it rather amusing when some person who expresses vile thoughts about any group is found to have secrets.

[docrobbysherry]

I don't believe anyone can tell u what to say to your daughter, Mollyanne. You're both adults and u know what's best.

But, as someone who had "the talk" with my young adult daughter not long ago? I suggest u ask her if she even wants to discuss it? If not, tell her it's best if she call before coming over unless she wishes to "catch u" again. That way, at least you'll have some piece of mind when u dress.

[Genny B]

Great advise!

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Ugh, I feel for you Hon!
I, luckily live alone so I dont have the hiding to deal with.
Then again, I dress fully as a woman everyday so its a lot easier at this point for me.

[Lana Mae]

Best wishes for all this to work itself out! I am out verbally to both my children and both reacted well and said whatever makes me happy! Hugs Lana Mae

[Pat]

It may well be that your daughter has those opinions because she's never had the chance to see they're wrong. When I was growing up I was always told that transvestites were all drug addicts and child molesters. I knew I wasn't any of those things, so I knew I wasn't a transvestite/crossdresser and spent years feeling like there was nobody else like me. Your daughter knows you. She will have to balance these actual experiences with her preconceived notions. It's a good thing. (If you can handle it.) Good luck.