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Thread: SO encouragement gone to far?

  1. #26
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Be careful my ex who led me on my road to discovery started like that
    Bingo and spot on....And good words of advice. Though she may be helping I heard and had the same encouragement. One day she said if I ever divorce you I'd marry a woman. Well divorced and she is with a woman.

    Other hand her intentions could be honorable but you wrote she had bisexual aspirations. My advice is; once you start down the proverbial pink highway there will be many off ramp of choices. Choose wisely, hope for the best and expect the worst.

    //Kara//
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Fiona123's Avatar
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    Lorileah makes good points. That said you seem to have a good situation. Go slow, have fun (very important), be true to yourself and your spouse.

  3. #28
    Member immindy's Avatar
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    Maybe your wife is experiencing kind of a " big sister" thing ? She is trying to embrace and accept your feminine side and is doing so by trying to help you express it ?
    Our , maybe she is a bit embarrassed with the concept of being seen with a " man in a dress" and is more comfortable with you presenting as a woman when you are dressed ? Recently I got a short hair cut because I prefer wigs do to my thin hair. My wife was uncomfortable as it made me look more masculine while I was wearing my night gown and robe , in the house cooking breakfast, as I only wear a wig when going out .

    So just some thoughts. Hopefully as you talk with her and maybe even consider therapy you two will figure out what is comfortable for you both .

  4. #29
    Banned Spammer
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    Some people have this "all in" thing with hobbies so this might be sort of like that to her.
    I think I would just explain how you feel.

  5. #30
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    Certainly a discussion is best. What is driving her? Does she want you to be a feminine as possible to fit her desire to be with a woman, yet still be heterosexual. It may not need to be full time, but she might want you to be as realistic as her fantasy imagines her lover. Seeing yourself in wig and great makeup job might open your eyes to what can be done. It changed me.
    Or does she want to push you to see how far you will go, to learn what is really inside you. Then, letting her know she is going too far/fast for you is necessary.
    I'll trade wives
    Hugs, Ellen

  6. #31
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    Maybe she really doesn't like you dressing, doesn't want to say so, so she wants you to drink from the firehose. There is a form of aversion therapy that tries to create a negative connection with an activity, like say drinking, by cramming in as much of the activity/ substance as one can possibly stand until you're sick. Then after that you end up with a negative connotation and are "Cured".

    This is a dicey form of "treatment", with similarities to conversion or reparative therapy. (Banned in Cincinnati after Leah's death).

    I am not saying this is what she wants, but you might put it on a list of possible motivations that you listen for When You Talk.
    Last edited by Meghan4now; 01-17-2017 at 01:16 PM.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member natalie_cheryl's Avatar
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    if i were in your heels id be in HEAVEN!! my so has gotten very comfortable with my Natalie side but she doesnt encourage it even half as much as yours does. so me personally i would do whatever she wants! LITERALLY

  8. #33
    AKA Jenni Aly Jenni Yumiko's Avatar
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    The grass isn't always greener.

  9. #34
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    As many have said, talking with her is a good idea. But be careful not to discourage her interest in your dressing. Maybe take it a little slower. On the other hand she is agreeing to and going along with your interest/wishes to dress, maybe you can go along with her wishes/interests a little too even if at first you may be a little uncomfortable. going out or going further in dressing maybe would turn out to be fun as you actually got doing it. Maybe agree to dress for so many days a week and one trip out a week or month or something. This might put a limit on it so you would know it wasn't going to be full time. Of course these limits could be adjust in the future if either of you wanted more or less. You don't want to lose this woman/situation that a lot of us would love to be in. It might be hard to replace both. I guess summing this up I am saying it might be worth it/fun to go along with her wishes as she is going along with you. Go for it and enjoy! Sherrii

  10. #35
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Could be that she wants to show support, and the only way she knows how is to show encouragement. Talk to her about it.

  11. #36
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    Compared to the experience of many on this site you are very lucky. Think of what the alternatives could be. Talk and negotiate but celebrate having someone who is so supportive.

  12. #37
    Member Randee's Avatar
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    My SO and I have worked it out so that, non-verbally, she is totally in control of my crossdressing and she seems to like it that way. We have agreed that if she walks in on me dressed in women's things, she takes charge of what I am wearing. If she wants me back in male clothes she will simply tell me to change without giving a reason. She may be expecting company or just wants me as her man. Otherwise I am agreed to stay in what I am wearing until she gives me permission to change out of them, and I must ask. Until I have that permission, I am to stay in whatever outfit she has found me in, add additional pieces of her choosing, or change into something completely different. Like she might come home find me dressed in something femme, then decide we should change into our one piece bathing suits for a swim. Or if she is expecting friends she is comfortable with seeing me, she will have me put on a skirt or apron and serve them. I often have spent a lot of time at home just in leotard and tights. When she comes home, she keeps me in it and will sometimes change into a complementing outfit and we will both enjoy being dressed together. It has worked out pretty well. She doesn't have to look at me dressed if she doesn't want to. But if she feels like playing with me, it's by her rules. I kinda like it that way myself. Anybody else have a version of this?

  13. #38
    Member immindy's Avatar
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    Randee , I suspect these "rules" are your fantasy and your wife has agreed to try to work this all out for you ? My one caution is make sure you are listening and meeting her needs and fantasies as well , and If you and her start to get frustrated with your roll play be careful . Whatever may be the case , sounds like you are having fun and hope it all goes well

  14. #39
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    I am quite envious because I DO like to try to present myself as a woman. However, I can understand your position too. You clearly had a secret from your wife until she found you out, but that has obviously unlocked a secret of hers, too. I imagine that she is taking advantage of the situation for her own benefit, and probably believes that she is supporting your desires at the same time. You don't have to do everything she asks, so tell her if you're uncomfortable about something. Love her and respect her, but make sure you get the same in return. You're really lucky; there's a lot of wives who would throw you out or leave. You have something really valuable there; a partner who understands something that thousands of women never will.

  15. #40
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    You possess the goose that laid the golden egg. You have permission and encouragement to be who and what you want to be. Take it as far as you are comfortable with and see where it is washes out. Find out your limits and feel it out. Damn, girl, you are living the dream.

  16. #41
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Well yes, If I have on a top with no bra, she tells me to put a bra on. She states that if you want to be feminine, live large and enjoy it. LOL
    Part Time Girl

  17. #42
    Member Mark B's Avatar
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    Thank you everybody for you comments. As most of you mentioned I know how very lucky I am to be married to someone that accepts who I am and even encourages me so.

    So we talked last night about her expectations and my comfort zone as many of you suggested. She said she was just trying to encourage me to think more about what I really wanted and how to go about doing it. She by no means meant to push me to the point I was uncomfortable. I did tell her that while I do feel more feminine when wearing make-up and a wig, but that it wasn't totally necessary for me, but I was willing to keep trying. And it does feel so much better that I look so sexy in my dresses when wearing my forms and a bra, and that I am comfortable with doing that, whereas before I didn't think I would enjoy it so much. We also talked about her sexual fantasy about being with another women. She said that she could never leave me for a women as she has her needs also. Which apparently thankfully I fulfill. She said that just seeing me dressed and knowing that she loves the man in that dress is enough for her. So, I am also getting more and more comfortable going out. We are now taking nightly walks with me dressed. I now come home and change almost everyday now. I typically wear legging or tights and my ankle high boots with a 3 inch heel. I wear my breast forms although the coat I wear conceals them. I also wear a knitted hat and a scarf tied around the neck. I have not been wearing a wig or make-up during these walks.. She wears tights and a more comfortable running shoes. We'll hold hands say hello to everyone that passes. We did once stop by a convenient store to get some coffee. The clerk didn't even notice when I pulled my wallet out of a small clutch purse I was carrying. She thinks its fun. I do too! We as a couple have yet to go somewhere with a lot of people with me dressed.

    So we agreed that she keep making suggestions and I be honest with her if I feel uncomfortable with doing what she suggests. This weekend she wants me go shopping with her while dressed. Which I instantly agreed too without much thought. But, she said I have to wear make-up and my wig. I am seriously now considering it! I have been out enough to learn that I don't really care what others think. So this lucky guy/girl could be shopping with make-up and the wig this weekend with a very wonderful SO.
    Last edited by Mark B; 01-23-2017 at 12:09 PM.
    I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"

  18. #43
    Aspiring Member fun4metoo2004's Avatar
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    I look at it this way. Your wife is supportive. It sounds like she wants to play with it more. Maybe it excites here to do it and helps her enjoy having you around like that. I go for it and have fun. You sound like you are comfortable in your mindset, so what the heck. Learn the ways of the force!

  19. #44
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    Looks like your wife would like you to travel a path similar to Leah True...check out the below video and let us know what you think
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 01-24-2017 at 12:58 PM. Reason: Link removed its in German
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

  20. #45
    Senior Member Abbey11's Avatar
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    Sounds fun Martha and more relaxed having now had a chat about comfort levels. Good luck with the shopping and please update afterwards.
    OMG!! Owning my femininity .... and I LOVE it!

  21. #46
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Life is good, Martha. Live it!

  22. #47
    Junior Member Jessica Thompson's Avatar
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    awesome, you should take her for a mani pedi.

  23. #48
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    As was mentioned earlier, if you're both open, honest, and happy with each other that's all that counts. Kudos to you both.


    Karen

  24. #49
    Member Mark B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikkiwindsor View Post
    Looks like your wife would like you to travel a path similar to Leah True...check out the below video and let us know what you think
    Nikki, If I could only look that good as Martha. Ha! But, you could be right. Maybe in the near future. GOD! Did I just say that?



    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica Thompson View Post
    awesome, you should take her for a mani pedi.
    Is this some sort of a pedicure? Please explain...oh hell, I'll just Google it!
    Last edited by Mark B; 01-24-2017 at 02:34 PM. Reason: Link breaks the rules
    I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"

  25. #50
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
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    Life is sure funny: your wife married to a CD who isn't enthusiastic enough of a CD for her taste when there are so many who dream of having a wife like her.
    My name is Carol.

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