Co-worker knows.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I'm actually surprised it has taken this long. I have dressed in exclusively female nurse scrubs, pants and clogs for years. I have also under dressed forever. Decades of plucking, creaming, and experimenting with hormones decades ago have left their toll. I have thin arched brows (I have not plucked in a decade), my arms and legs are hairless and have been for years, no shaving or depilatories. I have a comfortable 36B bustline. I regularly wear a bra during the cooler months at home for comfort but at work I wear a Maidenform Flexie body shaper that keeps my ta tas flatter and prevents telltale bounce when I'm walking or running. Baggy scrub tops even make my coworkers look flat chested. Nurses are very observant so somehow, over the years, I have been lulled into thinking that my bald head and male movements were somehow masking some of these overt signs. When everyone knows you are married with kids and grandchildren you think that somehow trumps everything else.
So what changed? This next bit of info falls into the TMI category but you need to know if this is going to make sense. I had a serious colon surgery in October and they removed my sigmoid colon. OK. No details. I told everyone that when I returned in 2 months I'd be a better "A__ H___" and got plenty of laughs. We had a nurse visit last week who had moved away and she was greeting all the nurses in our report room. By the way, she is drop dead gorgeous as is my supervisor who is only 32. After she hugged everyone I saw an opening for a joke and looked at my supervisor and said, "Should I tell her about my change?" Obviously meaning my butt. Another nurse coworker heard this and said "That you are transgendered?" I have been doing this forever so I did not flinch outwardly. Inside I had wet my pants figuratively. Everyone cracked up laughing. I quickly responded. "No one told me!" and that got a few more laughs. She has actually made similar comments in the past that were laughed off but this time there was a big audience. A few minutes later I felt that I still needed to use my humor to bury her suspicions. In the hall we crossed paths and I jokingly said, "Please don't out me until I have the operation. I want it to be a surprise." Then it happened. She grabbed my left breast, I'm pretty sure to joke back, but instead she got more of a handful then she expected. She must have also felt the shaper. Her eyes grew wide as mine did and she quietly said with a knowing smile, "It will be our little secret." There was nothing nasty in her tone and she did not give me the feeling that it was a "gotca' " moment. She was just letting me know that she knows and it's OK.
I doubt she would ever tell. She is just too nice a person to do that. All the nurses I work with are incredible. What did surprise me was that I said, "Thanks." When I reviewed the event driving home, I realized that I was happy that someone finally knew that I was transgendered and I was proud to be given that badge. Growing old has been wonderful as I have come to love who I am more than ever.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Most proud of you . Good spontaneous reply comebacks by you. Very nice nurse photo.

[BrittanyB]

Oh my, Stephanie!! I would have had a heart attack after the first joke. You have good nerves to so fluently deflect in a tense situation. So, do you think this nurse was just teasing you without seriously thinking you were transgendered at first and then realized her teasing hit closer to home than she thought?

And by the way, you look absolutely lovely as a nurse!!

Brittany

[Kandi Robbins]

as I have come to love who I am more than ever.

As well you should!

[Lana Mae]

Stephanie, I would not be able to do that. I am a nurse also! I do not wear a lab coat. They just seem to get in the way. When I bend down some times the scrub pants go down too. There are some that I would not trust with that info! Hope it all works out OK as it seems to be! You look great in uniform! Hugs Lana Mae

[paulaprimo]

that's wonderful that you are happy with yourself... i believe that is half
the battle. you also look fantastic which makes you the complete package!!

[Stephanie47]

I went back and checked some of your other picture posts. You are a very attractive woman. Your pictures as a womanly nurse are very convincing. I think you may have underestimated the ability of coworkers to notice subtle and progressive changes. I read your post of grocery shopping in a nursing outfit. I just wonder what a person would think if you were called up to aid someone in distress in aisle six???

[Fiona123]

I have worked as a paralegal for 30 + year. The breast grabbing really bothers me. It was an act of physical intimidation/assault that should not have happened. If a male grabbed a female co worker's breast he would fired in the spot at most places. Trans women should have the same right to personal privacy and safety.

[Jess S.]

I am also surprised about the grab. Perhaps its her little secret she is into us!

[lingerieLiz]

There is a difference between grabbing a guy's boob than a woman's. I think that we rush too easily to be offended. My guess, most of Stephanie's co-workers have already figured it out.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I did forget to mention the purpose of the pic. Replace the girl's scrub top with the more common cut in any shade of blue. Take away the hair and makeup and that is what I wear for work. I have two jobs, as a floor nurse and a wound care nurse. I agree that the smock top is a pain. I never wear it when I'm on the floor nursing. However, the CEO who is female, requires all non floor nurses to wear the smock for all other jobs. Amazingly we have to wear the ones provided and they are only in a female style with the buttons on the reverse side without lapels in a femme style. Since I only wear white pants this jacket only lends to a more feminine appearance. As for the comments about the grab. I am actually OK with it even though I know it would not have been right if the roles were reversed. I think she thought she was being funny until she realized what she had done. I should have mentioned that her face softened and her tone was more caring when she said my secret was safe. I also realize this might have been a way for her to confirm her suspicions. Either way, I trust and respect her and doubt she would ever do that again.

[Fiona123]

Legally there is not one bit of difference. I stand by my statement that trans women have the same right to privacy and safety as cis women.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I think my pic is confusing the issue. I'm not a trans woman. I work in male mode and am not out at work. If I was then I would agree.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephanie Julianna, So much for the details, It really sounds tike you are living the dream......

[sometimes_miss]

If you wear female underwear under scrubs, then you're 'out' at work, especially in front of nurses who are trained to be observant. Whenever the material is pulled taut over the body, traces of a bra, shaper, panties (that's where the term 'visible panty lines' comes from), will show through and be clearly identifiable that they are not jockey shorts or men's undershirts, as an example. I've been admiring the lovely women in nursing uniforms for 40+ years. Underwear lines show through plenty of clothes.

BTW, the same is true for men wearing female underwear under male shirts. The bra straps can easily be viewed when the overlying shirt material is pulled tight against the body as you bend, especially if you wear any light colored shirts. If you wear white pants or shorts, they can see your panties/briefs as well. Summer suit jacket or blazer material is also thin enough so that you can see the subtle tracings of bra straps, especially the adjustment parts and back clips. Just trying to help, here.

Wow the pink fog is thick.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Sometimes Miss, I hear you and that's why I wear Olga panties that border on being Granny pants since they have the same sillohette as tighty whities. (And I am a grandparent) My shapers also have the wider cloth straps over the sholder like men's sleeveless undershirts. Nurses are notorious huggers and the last thing I want them to feel is bra type straps. I do wear flesh tone seamless bras in the cooler weather under sweatshirts and bulky sweaters. As much as I hate the lack of support, I never wear them in the summer. So I rely on solid color T's with lots of graphics to hide my breasts. I never wear white T's. But all that being said, although I have been doing this longer than some of our members have been on the planet I agree that more of my wonderful nursing friends probably know something and the credit is all theirs that they have never harrassed me or made me fell less of a nurse and a person. No one could work with a more loving group of women. If my life was different and I had decided to transition I am sure that with only a few exceptions I would have their love and support. Just knowing that warms my heart and makes me admire them even more. I'm proud to be counted among these amazing people.

[Jackie7]

Great post and a great ride, Steph. Happy to hear you made it through the surgery, and even happier to hear you got outed the way you did. You've needed a knowing friend at work. Btw you look lovely, as always. Xxx from us both.

[Laura912]

Stephanie, two congrats are in order. The first for what sounds like a successful partial colonectomy. The second for handling the episode at work and having a friend who now knows and supports. Yes, scrubs can hide a lot.