Told By Your Wife to Stop Buy Her Clothes?

[Stephanie47]

I posed a question in another section that is open to responses by GG's only. So, to husbands who like to wear women's clothing, After your wife found out you liked to wear women's clothing I ask these questions;

(1) Did your wife tell you to stop buying her lingerie?

(2) Did your wife tell you to stop buying her other clothes that would be classified as outerwear?

When my wife and I were first married she and I would spend many Saturday's perusing the lingerie sections of just about all the mid town Manhattan department stores; Macy's on Herald Square, Korvette's, Gimbel's, Sachs, Alexander's, et al. I bought her for Valentine's Day, birthday's, Christmas, and just plain spur of the moment purchases a lot of lingerie.

Last year she went through the back of her side of the closet and donated to charity tons of lingerie that she no longer can fit into. After forty year many of them would be classified as vintage. All were made by high class labels. She laundered and ironed all of them. They were donated to a higher class thrift store in a higher income part of our small city. I checked the prices several weeks later. Well, the prices were reasonable, and, the vast majority were already sold.

Part of our "play time" did include me wearing some nightgowns which were bought together for me, and, me alone. This was before my love of wearing women's clothing expanded. But, when we both together discovered this was more than "kink bedroom play," she was totally turned off.

She ended up telling me to never buy her nightgowns again. She accused me of buying them with the fantasy of how I would look in them and not her. That really hurt.

So, have any of you experienced the same??

[Karen RHT]

Nope, I still buy my wife lingerie, stockings, clothes of all types, and she's been fine with me wearing as I please around the house for a few years now.


Karen

[Micki_Finn]

1) No
2) No

But if your dressing progresses, she is fully within her rights to express her feelings and to request you put a break on some things.

[Billy]

Seems like she feels she has been deceived for years. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it and maybe she never will. She may come to some resolve with the issue but don't expect things as they were before. Give her space and don't bring it up unless she wants to discuss it. Focus on pleasant things that are not confrontational that you know brings her pleasure but don't overdue it. Decide if she is worth your effort.

[Tracii G]

Sounds like she didn't like your taste in lingerie.
Let her buy what she likes and when she want to buy it.
I get the feeling you did it a lot and may have been pushing the CD thing too hard and she got fed up with it.I know I would.

[WandaRae2009]

My wife and I used to shop for her clothing all the time. Once she found out, she wouldn't even let me come shopping with her when she was shopping for herself, underclothes or outerwear. Now I go shopping with her all the time for her, even lingerie. I will order her clothes on line all the time.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Stephanie,
To answer your questions.

1. NO
2. NO

Since my wife and I had "The Talk" it has been no problem, of course we have different taste in clothes and our size is a bit different too. Sometimes when shopping though she will ask me what I think about something and it's not always clear whether she is talking about for me or her.

Hugs
Jolene

[Lana Mae]

No to both questions! Sounds like you might want to back off a little and give her some space and something besides clothing for special occasions! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

Oh, she loved my selection and recommendations in lingerie. Most of you are too young to have enjoyed the 1960's and early 1970's when it comes to lingerie. Later on, when she did resume trying to find something she liked, it was futile. Makers got into the idea the way to maximize profit and reduce costs was to go on the cheap when it came to producing a garment. I don't know what it maybe now, but, makers started to ignore the fact women do have breasts. Rather than making garments to conform to breasts, they produced a garment that would be best worn by flat chested women. Anyway, she truly enjoyed the experience of shopping with me. And I with her. Together time with each devoted to each other.

It was the cross dressing thing that turned her off. A man posing as a woman in any capacity really set her off and especially if it is in the bedroom. She is accepting of transwomen. She has a cousin with a transman son. Until we both figured out my wearing a nylon nightgown was more than 'kinky' bedroom play, there was no problem. Her issue is prior unwanted female sexual violence over which I have no control. This is an issue that predates our marriage, but, alas it is something I cannot undo for her. It took awhile, but, she did resume buying lingerie, but, I'd say it is still "let me buy my own." And, it had nothing to do with pushing cross dressing too far or pushing it on her. And, she was not deceived for years. It was just like a light switch. On one day and off the next. And, well, DADT followed. Our DADT is 100% DADT. She has not said or even alluded to my desire to wear women's clothing for decades. It's in that mental box along with the female sexual violence and other sexual issues of her youth that no woman should have endured or experienced.

Anyway, the question is whether any of your wives told you to forget buying her clothes.

[lingerieLiz]

My wife and I have had issues over clothes and underclothes over the years. There was a period where she felt I was buying her things as a proxy for my wanting them. We don't like the same lingerie. She wears lingerie as a necessity and chooses comfort. I like lace and different styles. She wears lingerie that is unseen, skin tone and no lines. But if you think about it she wants her clothes to be the statement not what is under them.

[Georgette_USA]

My partner and I had different likes and dislikes in clothes and lingerie.

She hated shopping so I did a lot for her. Outer clothes were no problem. But I would try and buy her underwear somewhat similar to mine, but she didn't really like my choices. She preferred full briefs, used to be able to get very sexy ones, but now not so much. Mine are anything but briefs. Would get her some sexy nighties, but she would just keep wearing the same till they wore out.

I just gave up after a while.

As a side note.
Think of what you buy and whether it will be worn/used.
After her death I had to go thru all of her stuff. Some was able to be given away. A lot was just thrown away, as her style and mine were so different, I would not use, and quite a bit were still brand new.

[Shadeauxmarie]

My wife told me she didn't feel comfortable with me shopping with her for clothes. She feels that I'm just looking for myself. It's a shame really. She's not comfortable with her body. Who is. I try to get her to push her boundaries a bit. I keep telling her that the display is a guide to what pieces look good together. Because I said it, she ignores me.

[MissTee]

My wife has always shown appreciation when I buy her clothing of any type. Our styles are different in that I like the more girly attire (cute skirts, blouses wit some bling, subtle ruffles, etc.) and she prefers simple and functional. Rarely ever wears a skirt or dress.

[ClosetED]

My wife does not wear the lingerie I had bought her. She feels I am the one who really wants to wear it and so I am getting thrill of it on her and imagining it me, and not that I am thrilled to see her acting sexy and feminine. Despite the fact I don't really get into lingerie look, but she hasn't wanted to see me dressed.
She will point out clothes in catalogs she likes and I am happy to buy them for her. I will normally try them on once as well, but she thinks I can't fit her size. I might add an item just for me to the order.
All this changed this weekend and wife claims she will now take me shopping in stores for clothes and help me dress and even take me to a CD conference. But I have to teach her how to be sexy.
I expect a bumpy ride.
Hugs, Ellen

[Dana44]

Actually on Lingerie, my SO and I look at them together and pick our styles. Every Friday night we both get in ours and open wine and some face food and we sit on the floor in the living room and communicate about whatever is on our minds. It is a great time to talk about anything and we always have great discussion. .

[Meghan4now]

1. My wife stopped wearing "lingerie" to bed long long ago. And does not want me to either, which I don't. Used to buy her stuff way back before kids.
2. I have always been a good shopper for my wife. I have a good eye for what would look good on her, or so I believe.
3. Since my recent return and increase in dressing, she has made the comment that she does not enjoy me accompaning her while shopping for her, because she isn't sure who I am really looking for. I told her that when we are shopping for her I am thinking about her primarily, but will admit that something will catch my eye once in a while. She still has me go along, because I usually get her to try some things on that she might otherwise not try. She is not a very imaginative person in that respect. Tends to the safe, tried and true, solid colors, straight lines.

[Cheryl T]

No and No.
Once she found out and was accepting it became the opposite. Not that she asks me to buy her more things but she does ask my opinion and advice all the time.