Once again, I’m in a turnaround of my crossdressing life. It has been almost a year since I hadn’t a decent opportunity to crossdress, as I already knew from a planned shift of my wife working habits. You all know, if you are still in the closet, that at the very start you are confident that, after all, it will work… You don’t really feel a need to crossdress, somehow no occasion/no desire, you feel the same as when you purge everything away. It will not gonna happen again, that’s all. Sometimes you feel very very far away from the crossdressing world.
Then, all of a sudden (so to speak) you start needing to feel dressed like a woman. You need it badly. And you ask to yourself: why not? But, the problem is, you really can’t. No time, no space.
So I start thinking this could be the right moment to tell to my wife everything about it. But, on the other side, it seems very awful to speak her just to have in change some free time to crossdress.
That’s my turmoil in these times, when, a couple of days ago, a small idea started crawling in my mind. And i did it. Just today. Foggy day, cold winter in Italy, I underdress my nice black stockings (they are thick, who will notice the difference under my trousers?), I reach a walking lane on the bank of a nearby river during my lunch break, I wear a pair of my female shoes and take a walk.
And I thought everything clear before it (I know you know this is what we do…), I was sure that if I met someone (a runner, a biker, an old man walking) there wouldn’t have been any problem. I am just reading a book (or speaking at the phone), I walk straight, no problem. There is no law against it, just a man in jeans wearing a pair of low heeled black pumps. Who bothers?
I feel great, watching the river, feeling inside me the sadness of the landscape, embedded in the fog. Feeling at the same time the pink fog inside me crawling from the sweet sensation of heels tickling on the pavement, or slightly slipping on the mud. I am somehow thinking to take a picture. There’s no one around.
But, all of a sudden, I see an old man coming from the other side. And I think: in a while we both will be alone, walking, and he will address me somehow. Panic. No other word to describe what I did. I walked back to my car, just fifty metres away. Heartbeat was at high rate. Everything in my mind switched off: pleasure, reasonable thoughts and all.
I feel so stupid now… I will try again tomorrow maybe.
Thank you for listening. This place feels like a safe home to me.
Originally Posted by JuliePtown
